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Open Poetry #22
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-10-05 10:03 AM


My Dawn

when darkness
overwhelms
when fear
upends
when tears
stream
in sorrow’s weight
You come
You whisper
I turn and see
You,
my first Light

and day breaks
into
joyous
possibilities
because You have touched
my dawn

©October 5, 2002

Now, I don't like the title because it puts more emphasis upon me rather than my First Light, but I don't want to give away the meat of the message in the title, soooooo, do you have a title suggestion?



Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

[This message has been edited by VAS (10-05-2002 10:15 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-10-05 10:42 AM


VAS,
Good write, can't think of a title but if I do I'll let you know.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2002-10-05 04:47 PM


I think you just suggested another title yourself:  "First Light"

I liked this write!

EA

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2002-10-05 10:45 PM


I like the title "First Light", too, but if you don't want to use that, what do you think of the title  "YOU"  ?  Just an idea. I like your work very much.
With Love,
Ethel/garysgirl

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