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Open Poetry #22
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Konrad’s Träume
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Konrad’s Träume |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Konrad’s Träume He awoke in the shuddering aftermath, fragmented filaments of light being the recurring occurrence of pain-filled migraines, the sobs having shaken his body in torment, and he lay, gasping, grasping at memories of then. The nauseating smell of a skillet, oily smoke making a farce in the face of a burning dinner, those dry, dusty, groveling roads and a truthful glare brought the acrid memories to the back of his throat… he remembered, oh! How he remembered… It had been a long, long time since he last pictured Dillon, or Iambe, for that matter, but his blood was boiling sibling messages and he was afraid of the premonitions… and the migraine’s flash made him wince at the thought of Jake… Konrad fell from the edge of bed onto the exposed wood floor, fighting the nausea, his forehead against the cool waxed planks, the sick sweet smell of pine invading his life’s story, and he grappled upward, grabbing onto the bedsheets, crawling up into the clearer air, hanging on to the wall and through a squint, looking out into the fog of then, the rain of now, and his mind said “count the drops in the pool” and he tried to focus on the puddle there, in the street, not yet heaving oiled slick rainbows, watching through wincing eyes as the raindrops slowly rippled circles, until the rain began to come steadier, and the ripples rippled waves, one onto the other… the premonition of the dream rippling his nausea into memories of Iambe, Dillon, and Jake. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (10-03-2002 11:05 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Yikes! It's getting to the point where we'll all need a family tree for reference. This, as are all the others, is a fine addition to the "family". ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (smiles) Wow!!! Oh my gosh, you and everyone's wonderful words are making a family tree of stories, sweet friend, this is yet another branch to Ron's challenge that buds greatly, I love this, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
The nauseating smell of a skillet, oily smoke making a farce in the face of a burning dinner, those dry, dusty, groveling roads and a truthful glare brought the acrid memories to the back of his throat… Darn, it was hard to piece a favourite part in this poem, each line is as wonderfully written as the next. Something about the above version clicked with me. This is a visual threat, beautifully penned. El riesgo vive siempre! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kariea Ouch! So well done! Never had a headache like that..but my son has...I know they can make a mudpie out of plain old dirt. You did good here, girl. [This message has been edited by Martie (10-03-2002 10:52 AM).] |
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FuzzyFrazzledFraggle Member
since 2002-09-20
Posts 155Fraggle Rock |
yes woah..powerful stuff..hard to pinpoint a fave part.. Consider yourself fuzzed |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Yet another masterpiece from the Sun.... Superbly written KJ.... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
So well done Karilea! I'm hoping somehow we can piece all the posts from the lambe series together... these make a terrific read. Well done! ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
painful images..well written. so another facet of the character you have created comes to life... enjoyed this...as I have all the replies to the challenge. NOw it will be interesting to see how and where thay all go. |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
It makes one wonder if you have walked in the steps of these characters you have created. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Wonderful creation of characters and images Karilea. You do this so well. HUGS If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
You really should write novels, you know. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I love the way you weave imagery Karilea, I'm enjoying M xx The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colours, but the sea, does not change. |
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