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Open Poetry #22
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2002-10-02 03:35 PM


Unexpected, the sound breaks
into the comfortable of my
reverie, worrying long legged
memories that quickly
scurry back into the safety
of the shadows.

Would that I could find a way
to end this persistent inquiry
but the corridors seem to
consider my confusion.

Round my ankle a lover’s touch
remembered trips me up, my
box of scold scatters in the
disturbing dust, softly sifting
together excuses
and remembrances.

My goal delayed, I start a quick
retrieval, until, my fingers linger
sweetly on leftover fondness...but
silence that knocking, I must

stumble over my mess, crack
the door, and blink away the
brightness of your determination.  

A bit wider I open and though I
couldn’t say just why, I allow
you entrance; suddenly I am
more than aware of my disheveled
viewpoint.

The kindness of your smile catches
me off guard and certainly needs
not my apology, but the only words
that leave my lips are - please
excuse the mess...

© Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-10-02 03:42 PM


jellybeans
Very good, a delightful read.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2002-10-02 03:42 PM




"My goal delayed, I start a quick
retrieval, until, my fingers linger
sweetly on leftover fondness...but
silence that knocking, I must"


"stumble over my mess, crack
the door, and blink away the
brightness of your determination."  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The kindness of your smile catches
me off guard and certainly needs
not my apology, but the only words
that leave my lips are - please
excuse the mess..."


fantastic love the images, and the memories that it brings to my mind

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-10-02 03:42 PM


geez.... you can mess up my world anytime...
love the poem...love the orginality of presenting this thought and feeling in this way.... always a pleasure my friend..always a pleasure..

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2002-10-02 03:53 PM


I love this, lady... the scatter of emotions are a perfect compliment to the scramble of feet weaving their way to the door... and just what you need. *S*

Round my ankle a lover’s touch
remembered trips me up, my
box of scold scatters in the
disturbing dust, softly sifting
together excuses
and remembrances.

And this??? This verse is simply magic... one to read again and again, just appreciating the pictures you paint with words. *S*

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2002-10-02 04:39 PM


Oh, I have been there--and you described it all so well! My Mom always drilled into my head, "Always be prepared"---meaning, look your best whenever you leave the house, you never know who you're going to meet!---or always keep the house clean, you never know who could drop by! Well, I must admit, I try to always be prepared, but the most embarrassing moment was one that you just described---both me and my place was a mess!
But he didn't seem to mind---he just "smiled" and I thought, what the heck! It's the real me he came to see!

I enjoyed this very much! Nice to know I haven't been alone in this experience!

EA

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-10-02 04:54 PM


Unexpected, the sound breaks
into the comfortable of my
reverie, worrying long legged
memories that quickly
scurry back into the safety
of the shadows.
I love the long legged memories image here...
adds a touch of sensuality and at the same time the image of something that can indeed travel quickly in long steps to dissapear quickly...
Round my ankle a lover’s touch
remembered trips me up, my
box of scold scatters in the
disturbing dust, softly sifting
together excuses
and remembrances.

My goal delayed, I start a quick
retrieval, until, my fingers linger
sweetly on leftover fondness...but
silence that knocking, I must


lady... this section sends my mind in a spin... and I can attach several meaning to it with not one of them being any less enticing
had to revisit... and had to point out the sections I especially enoyed

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
7 posted 2002-10-02 05:54 PM


jb...i always rush to read you everytime i see your name...you are one of my favorite authors...you never disappoint me either...helen
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
8 posted 2002-10-02 06:45 PM


This is neatly put together

Nan(Pilgrim variety)

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2002-10-02 09:03 PM


jellybeans - this is charming and a delight to read...

BC

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

10 posted 2002-10-03 03:35 PM


Seymour thank you

SEA, hmmm glad to hear my words bring pleasant memories

Cpat thank you, it is a pleasure for you to stop by (twice **smile**)......seems my 'mess' hasn't offended as much as I supposed

Suthern, one of mine isn't finished until I hear from you....am glad you liked


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2002-10-03 03:36 PM


don't know why PIP made me cut my reply in half, but here goes with the second half...

EA, the mess metaphor was to describe the inside of my head, but am glad the metaphor worked for you

Cpat....

1slick lady....thank you...that is such a wonderful compliment.....

Pilgrimage....thanks

Bill Charles, thank you

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