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Open Poetry #22
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Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2002-10-02 12:12 PM



unexpected
tears for no reason
sobs
rending the surface
of her mind
unconscious
longing
and fear
and hope
and love
sudden tears
wetness echoing
drops on cheeks
silent
signals
of distress
quickly hidden
with a smile
that never
reaches her
eyes

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (10-02-2002 12:39 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Auguste
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since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
1 posted 2002-10-02 12:23 PM


"that never reaches her eyes" ...I think that line struck me the most, Sharon.  I love the feel, the honesty in this piece.  I think we've all been here at one time or another in our lives.  You've expressed this well.  
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2002-10-02 12:51 PM


nicely expressed...most often my tears are sudden, when I least expect them...
sometimes in happiness, more often not.

M

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-10-02 12:57 PM


yer my girl...

If I felt such things so powerfully, from so far away?

I would hide too. (OH. I DO, don't i?)

lu

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
4 posted 2002-10-02 01:18 AM


wow! That last line is killer - great stuff Sharon - have missed reading here
Radrook
Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648

5 posted 2002-10-02 01:30 AM


I agree, this poem is a work of art.
I love the economy of words.

That last line is especially dynamite!


Thanks for sharing!

[This message has been edited by Radrook (10-02-2002 01:32 AM).]

secretlife
Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,
6 posted 2002-10-02 07:32 AM


Waaaaw.. I really love your poems..
SO nice..


secretlife,
(Easy come,,Easy go)


Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
7 posted 2002-10-02 07:49 AM


ok - now at first glance, it looked simple, like there wouldn't be too much substance to this poem. (which is quite unlike you). Well, i was quickly disabused of my hasty assumption as i read through this SEEMINGLY simple post of yours and could feel the emotion of it slamming home.

Now this may seem silly, but the following three lines caught me the most -
quote:
and fear
and hope
and love
six simple words, simply placed. in context, however, they epitomize this poem in both feeling, partial repetition, and word. i could almost picture someone sobbing... "and - and - and"

Very well done Sharon. Multi-Kudos to you!

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

8 posted 2002-10-02 08:41 AM


Very human and no doubt refreshing. I've not cried (physically) in quite some time. Enjoyed.
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2002-10-02 08:44 AM


like this one...both the form and choice of words fit the emotional out pouring crying can represent. Always a pleasure to read your creations...
Moonlight Romeo
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Senior Member
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982
The heart of you
10 posted 2002-10-02 08:59 AM


There is much that can be hidden by the eyes that cannot be hidden by the heart.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

suthern
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Louisiana
11 posted 2002-10-02 09:14 AM


This is very powerful... so very sad... and so well understood. *S* Excellent work!
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
12 posted 2002-10-02 09:20 AM


Emotions can be so powerful without warning...well written here. Take heart my friend...lots of arms around you. ThisDiamond
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
13 posted 2002-10-02 09:58 AM


Sharon - this really hit home for me. Excellent writing. Going into my library. Man, oh, man this is good. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
14 posted 2002-10-02 10:13 AM


This is great! So much said in so few words.  "You" rended the surface of "my mind" where so often tears are the truth and a smile,  -a denial-
Thank you for explaining more about me, -to me- Thank you for capturing this moment in time, which too often gets buried in the 'busy-ness' of the day. Your words keep popping back into my mind, without re-reading it.Amazing  

without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
15 posted 2002-10-02 10:21 AM


Thank you all so much for your kind words. You've really made my day. This poem started with just two words - sudden tears - and I wanted to convey why tears could happen with the feeling behind them. I'm so grateful that you enjoyed this. Thank you again.
caterina
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 188
Canada
16 posted 2002-10-02 11:10 AM



I really connected with this poem, that was me yesterday, the ending is perfect.  

I think I will print this one out and stick it in my "Mood Poems" folder.

Thankyou, I really enjoyed.

caterina


Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
17 posted 2002-10-02 11:15 AM




(big hugggssssss) I know this feeling all too well, sweet friend, sometimes I too hide tears because I feel many wouldn't understand them or could relate to them! (sigh) My heart goes out to those who face this anguish, sweet friend, God Bless You, this is a wonderful write, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sharon, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

18 posted 2002-10-02 12:30 PM


Poet, I see you're growing, too.
Sheesh, all my favorites just keep
gettin' better!

I can reach out and *touch* the tears
in these words.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
19 posted 2002-10-02 02:25 PM


A smile is all-encompassing, isn't it?  When we smile from the eyes, we smile from within... You've got a winner here, PdV..
NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
20 posted 2002-10-02 03:47 PM


Sharon this is so touching. I will cry at the drop of a hat and could certainly relate to this.

Beautiful dear poetess.  Hugs, Marti

Every now and then take a good look at something not made
with hands -- a mountain, a star, the power of the ocean.
There will come to you wisdom,

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