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| Open Poetry #22 |
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Inside |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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Scream SCREAM Scream Inside I find life Tears N G E R In search of peacepeace Tranquility and hope ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ** A little different for me....not the best, but a project I am working on in a class....so "bear" with me if I decide to see how it "works"...... L~ ~~~~~~~ I need some distraction ...oh beautiful release Memories seep from my veins [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (10-01-2002 11:00 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Greeneyes - anything you write my dear, I can bear with you.... BC |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Lauren, I love this unique style of yours here so much as it flows down the page in desperation but yet it feels so sad, sweet friend, I hope everything is alright! (sigh) Know I am always here if you need someone to talk to, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton P.S: I sent you the next part of the poem for you to finish, Yay!!!  "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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FuzzyFrazzledFraggle Member
since 2002-09-20
Posts 155Fraggle Rock |
it maybe a different style but it still reaches to the reader..  scattered..as anger and pain can be..lovely thoughts..lovely..Consider yourself fuzzed |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I think its really good, and reads well. I actually wanted it to be longer |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Scream all you like, we're listening. |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
There is much that screams inside. But, tears only show on the outside. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Good stuff sweetie... a bit different for you...but still excellent. ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Creative and wonderful. I like the style, it holds power and the delivery of the emotion was intense. ThisDiamond |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Thank you all for reading, I appreciate your support while I try news ways...muwahhhssss and hugsss love to all.... Lauren~ I need some distraction |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
hey you - this is an interesting format... i'm wondering if you meant the "N G E R" to play off the "a" inside "tears?" if so, you might consider changing the font to "Courier New" which is a fixed width font, and could help realign it correctly. If you didn't, it still provides an intereting association, as i read it as anger - melded within the tears. either way, good to see ya stretching out.  |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Certainly an interesting format. I like it, and I "felt" anxious as I read it. It's great that you're trying something new! ~Sheri |
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