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Open Poetry #22
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-10-01 10:57 PM



Scream                                                              

SCREAM


                                 Scream

Inside I find                         life

                              Tears
                                N
                                 G
                                    E
                                       R


In search of peacepeace      

Tranquility and hope


~~~~~~~~~~~~

** A  little different for me....not the best, but a project I am working on in a class....so "bear" with me if I decide to see how it "works"......

L~

~~~~~~~


I need some distraction
...oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins


[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (10-01-2002 11:00 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2002-10-01 11:00 PM


Greeneyes - anything you write my dear, I can bear with you....

BC

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-10-01 11:02 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Lauren, I love this unique style of yours here so much as it flows down the page in desperation but yet it feels so sad, sweet friend, I hope everything is alright! (sigh) Know I am always here if you need someone to talk to, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

P.S: I sent you the next part of the poem for you to finish, Yay!!!

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

FuzzyFrazzledFraggle
Member
since 2002-09-20
Posts 155
Fraggle Rock
3 posted 2002-10-01 11:03 PM


it maybe a different style but it still reaches to the reader.. scattered..as anger and pain can be..lovely thoughts..lovely..

Consider yourself fuzzed

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2002-10-01 11:03 PM


I think its really good, and reads well.
I actually wanted it to be longer

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
5 posted 2002-10-01 11:30 PM


Scream all you like, we're listening.
Moonlight Romeo
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Senior Member
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982
The heart of you
6 posted 2002-10-02 09:03 AM


There is much that screams inside.  But, tears only show on the outside.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-10-02 09:09 AM


Good stuff sweetie...
a bit different for you...but still excellent.
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
8 posted 2002-10-02 09:25 AM


Creative and wonderful. I like the style, it holds power and the delivery of the emotion was intense. ThisDiamond
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2002-10-03 08:00 AM


Thank you all for reading, I appreciate your support while I try news ways...muwahhhssss and hugsss


love to all....


Lauren~

I need some distraction
...oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
10 posted 2002-10-03 06:06 PM


hey you -

this is an interesting format... i'm wondering if you meant the "N G E R" to play off the "a" inside "tears?" if so, you might consider changing the font to "Courier New" which is a fixed width font, and could help realign it correctly. If you didn't, it still provides an intereting association, as i read it as anger - melded within the tears.

either way, good to see ya stretching out.

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
11 posted 2002-10-03 06:16 PM


Certainly an interesting format.
I like it, and I "felt" anxious as I read it.
It's great that you're trying something new!

~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

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