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Open Poetry #22
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Radrook
Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648


0 posted 2002-09-30 03:02 PM



I will be salve to your deepest wounds.
water to your tormenting thirst
Satisfaction to your ambitions
Prompt replier to your petitions

If you ever fall, I will raise you.
If you ever call, I will quickly respond.

I will be your all.

Your patient tutor.
Your faithful lover.
Your protective warrior


The appeasement
of your terrors I will be.


The inevitable calm
that accompanies your storms.

The ever-present admirer
of your form.

I will be your light in the darkest nights.
Your comforting warmth on the coldest days.

I will be your messenger when you pray.
Your angel of mercy when you cry.

I will be me
Your friend
Your lover
until the day I die.

[This message has been edited by Radrook (10-01-2002 12:50 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Radrook - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2002-09-30 03:49 PM


LOL, did she respond with an "I am..."(name)?
So, you take care of her girlish petitions?

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
2 posted 2002-09-30 04:10 PM


At first I thought this was about Paul the apostle until I got to the  line
"The immediate reply to your girlish petitions".

anyway, I enjoyed the read.

Don't drag the orchestra into this thing
Rattle those sticks, rattle those sticks
The sound is beautiful, its perfect!
The birthday party

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
3 posted 2002-09-30 04:12 PM


I was thinking the same thing as Brian!
Enjoyed Radrook!

~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

Radrook
Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648

4 posted 2002-10-01 12:12 PM


Thanks for the feedback.
I rewrote the poem.

This is the way the original looked. Including its misleading title. LOL!

I am Paul

I am  salve to your wounds.
water to your thirst
satisfaction to your ambitions
Reply to your girlish petitions
I am your all.
I am your husband.
Paul.

BTW
For those readers unfamiliar with females, they do have girlish petitions SOMETIMES no matter their age.

As for anyone replying to me in the same manner in which I wrote the original poem. Sorry to dissapoint you but I am not married at present nor have anyone which can reply that way unfortunately.  Please keep in mind that poetry is very often the product of the poet's imagination and need not be based on present realities.

[This message has been edited by Radrook (10-01-2002 02:14 AM).]

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-10-01 03:19 PM


Your imagination is as rich
(and intoxicating)
as wine.

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
6 posted 2002-10-01 03:24 PM


Now how could I possibly make a better comment than Mikey's? hmmm?

lovely poem!
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2002-10-01 04:19 PM


I like your poem that you rewrote. You sound like you know what you're talking about, even if you aren't married (as you said in your comment with the copy of the original poem). I have to admit that I do like the last version better than the first, though. Thanks for sharing your imagination with us!
secretlife
Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,
8 posted 2002-10-02 07:58 AM


What a great love you have.. you are so kind and sensitive person.. Keep your love there in your heart forever...
I love your poems so much..

Secretlife,
(Easy come,,Easy go)


Radrook
Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648

9 posted 2002-10-02 01:25 PM


Thank you all for your encouraging words!

Yes, I like the latter version more myself.
About knowing these things with just more than my imagination, well, having been once married for eighteen years helps a little. Not that I felt this strongly then. Only to say that I do understand women more now after that marriage.

Actually, most of the love poems I write are based on my never-realized dream of meeting my dream  woman whom I would cherish with all my heart. So since I have as yet not found her, I at least can write these poems about her whoever and wherever she might be.


Thanks again to all for the encouraging feedback.
Glad you enjoyed!

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