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Open Poetry #22
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Meter Reading
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Meter Reading |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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I don't want more than you've given me for we wouldn't be what we've become even if we'd had a chance. I find solace in the free reign falling at my feet it is there I take refuge when the thunder claps breaking through the clouds caught up in a jet stream. You are the whole of a lightning storm striking me; arranging the pieces of my heart quieting my fears that torment me in the darkness. I often waver in the moment and the residue left behind, like the calm that lingers after a storm hanging in the breeze. The sun promises so much but if it doesn't shine tomorrow I want to believe you'll still be there when I'm teetering beside myself, rolling in with the fog between heaven and earth. You're the hollow sound echoing in my private chambers, a constant beat keeping rhythm with the songs that I sing, playing me in the wind like no other slow dancing outside in the rain. Yet I'm not cold or unsung without you you're my mercury rising to some degree and I've taken care to arrange you in keeping in that place where you've touched me so carefully. You're the warming trend I wrote of in the beginning. Since then I've learned to adjust to the changing temperatures, that there is no predicting the forecast and fate is it's own meter reading. *~* (reworked from my very first post at passions in the dark poetry forum. Maybe it wasn't so dark after all, once I saw the light) [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (09-28-2002 04:22 AM).] |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
To the top with wonderful and indepth work. enjoyed  "two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Very nice! |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Lori, You connect so well with your life experience. I love reading your thoughts. An awesome rework. Yup, not so dark. Bless you friend.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I love it! The music flows in this piece, a wonderful tune of Life. Not at all dark! thanks for the rewrite and for sharing it.  came back to fix a typo this keyboard made [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (09-28-2002 12:29 PM).] |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
BluesSerenade - glad the light shined upon you, may it forever be there... BC |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (smiles) Oh Lori, I too think this isn't dark at all, it is bittersweet but I know as long as you ignore the forecast ahead and enjoy the now and believe in love with your heart you will live happily ever after! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Hugsssss you, this is ever so lovely...with your style and charm..... Lauren~ I need some distraction |
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