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Open Poetry #22
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-09-27 01:29 AM


And now I've spent a lifetime--
I searched for your face in the clouds.
In caution I split blades of grass
blowing cacaphony call
hoping you would hearken to my childish plea.

I studied words I've still not heard
spoken aloud--profane-
but my heart desired arms
to breach the sky
I reached to find
and yet I found you...not.

So I began The Quest of Knight--
a child in search of Holy Grail.
I looked for you
in leather bind
sure that I could find you there
wise
between the lines of sage
on pages aged beyond my years
yellow in the frailty
of foolishness of open book
some maps drawn from those on run--
and they were just as blind as me.

I sought the glory--majestry
of cathedrals--gilded God--
compliantly I opened my mouth
to taste the bread of Divinity.
I covered head to tred into
the temples that engaged me so--
I was not hallowed to pray
because--I was, and still remain--
unclean--an accident of birth?
created thus by you?
So I bellowed at your servant,
"Why was my birth allowed?"

So I washed the dust then from my feet.

Then I questioned everyone--
like mother frantic for lost child--
gripping on the arms of strangers:
"Tell me, have you seen?"
Everyone replied "they had."
Each time they spoke, I felt defiled.
Each time I asked--my shoulders sagged--
as they described...themselves...

I learned to speak their languages--
I married thoughts born from the signs.
My flesh was forty days--tempted--
with always silver on my mind.
I learned about the crucifixion--
I learned to striate sacred heart.
I learned the weight of selfish feet
compared to feather-weight of cross
carried for just someone else...

But I was of no use to 'them'--
those there behind the table--
selling white doves in a cage--
insurance of the money-changers:

I was dismissed for lack of sacrificial meat.

So I became a child again
and lived in morphine dream
I closed my eyes.
I closed my ears.
I probed too deep for piety.

I met a man who told me once,
"You'll not find God within syringe."
I looked at him
through idiocy--
and asked:
"Is not God EVERYWHERE?"

So he washed the dust then from his feet.

So here I am in my lament--
resigned to walk a path alone.
It's okay with me, yanno--
I was born that way.

(You know.)
I know, that's how I'll die--
the same as I am now.
But oh-I-plead-with-you
in this dark night of my soul--
I'll pray for grace
and mercy,prove--
even if it means demise.

Can I stay with you tonight?
Oh let me rest with you one night...

Perhaps this wretched loneliness
is incentive that I need
to make me look for YOU--
the Truth.

I am in need of sustenance.

Let me wash your feet tonight.


*       *       *


Jeremiad jer-i-my'ad, n (From Jeremiah, reputed author of the Book of Lamentations)

A lamentation or prolonged complaint; an angry or cautionary harangue. Poor Jeremiah! He writes one complaining letter to God, whines about the state of the world, gets it published in the most popular book of all time, and his name is forever attached to the concept of complaining and lamenting one's fate.

came back to give credit to the man who wrote the above definition:

http://phrontistery.50megs.com/favourite.html


You should look around this site awhile, it's fascinating.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (09-27-2002 07:59 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
1 posted 2002-09-27 01:37 AM


oh my god
Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

2 posted 2002-09-27 01:47 AM


*raised eyebrow* Wow. That was impressive.

Kielo

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-09-27 02:25 AM


Bri and Ki...thank you...and Bri? not sure if my e mail is running right now...but thanks for the wonderful compliment.

love to you both.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-09-27 12:17 PM


Sen,
This was like the tower of Babel,
only ... it's the TEMPLE of babel,
and the temple is a body, isn't it?

Amazing, Sen....
You grow so fast
it's a wonder
yr bones
don't break.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-09-27 12:38 PM


sigh...I'll e ya...this'n was...
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-09-27 01:34 PM


This poem's so in-depth and cool,
I want to read it slow as sunlight.

quote:

And now I've spent a lifetime--
I searched for your face in the clouds.
In caution I split blades of grass
blowing cacaphony call
hoping you would hearken to my childish plea.



Already the depth and richness of this piece. Spitting grass makes me think of when I was a little kid. There's a certain type of grass you can whistle into, too, but I was never able to do that. And, the fact that you call this heart's desire "cacaphony call." Man, this is just so layered.

quote:

I studied words I've still not heard
spoken aloud--profane-



This could mean so many different things. A Bible? A diary? A letter from a love? The words I love you? Your poetry? Man, I love this!

quote:

but my heart desired arms
to breach the sky



Arms as love.
Arms as weapon.
Phew.

quote:

I reached to find
and yet I found you...not.



A lilting hesitation.

quote:

So I began The Quest of Knight--



This here blows me away. Rather than searing FOR a knight, you're questing AS a knight -- damn, Sen.

quote:

a child in search of Holy Grail.
I looked for you
in leather bind
sure that I could find you there



When you first read this,
you think she's looking for someone pinioned.
Later on, you find out that's true --
but in WRITING. In a book.

Leather binding as leather bind.
Wow....

quote:

wise
between the lines of sage
n pages aged beyond my years
yellow in the frailty
of foolishness of open book



The anger and bitterness here, and wonder and hope. I can read you like an open book ... the FOOLISHNESS of open book. You're making me grasp for words to explain the power of this poem, Sen.

quote:

some maps drawn from those on run--
and they were just as blind as me.



A stunner. Reading maps of the directionless. ...... (hey, thanks for the poem idea )

quote:

I sought the glory--majestry
of cathedrals--gilded God--



This has so many connotations.
Especially how you say gilded God.
Gilded the Lily?

ARRRGH you're BRILLIANT!!!!

quote:

compliantly I opened my mouth
to taste the bread of Divinity.
I covered head to tred into
the temples that engaged me so--



This is curious, powerful verse. It's like, the narrator wants faith, but acknowledges it as compliance and something to engage oneself in, not something to believe....

quote:

I was not hallowed to pray
because--I was, and still remain--
unclean--an accident of birth?
created thus by you?
So I bellowed at your servant,
"Why was my birth allowed?"



This reminds me of Prince's
Thieves in the Temple.
(love come quick/
love come in a hurry/
there are thieves in the temple tonight)

Do you listen to Prince at all?
If you don't -- start!
Psychosexualspiritual
genius.

Right up our alleys.

Continuing...

quote:

So I washed the dust then from my feet.

Then I questioned everyone--
like mother frantic for lost child--
gripping on the arms of strangers:
"Tell me, have you seen?"
Everyone replied "they had."
Each time they spoke, I felt defiled.



Of course, the symbolism of washing feet...
And then, to ask questions
to be sickened by the reply.

This is so raw and yet ... so honed.
This is magick, Sen.

quote:

Each time I asked--my shoulders sagged--
as they described...themselves...



Almost as if looking for answers
that are nothing
but questions.

quote:

I learned to speak their languages--
I married thoughts born from the signs.
My flesh was forty days--tempted--
with always silver on my mind.



A theologian or a Biblical scholar would sup on these words for hours,
luxuriating in their mingled tastes and meaning.

I mean, you have Babel here, a touch of Zodiac, Jesus tempted in the desert, Judas .... You're blowin' my mind, Sen. This is POETRY.

quote:

I learned about the crucifixion--
I learned to striate sacred heart.
I learned the weight of selfish feet
compared to feather-weight of cross
carried for just someone else...



Coming to grips with the selflessness of sacrifice,
and how hard it is to achieve.

I love that feet are weighed
but crosses are feather-light.

Unbelievable language.
You're making me think hard.
I love it!

quote:

But I was of no use to 'them'--
those there behind the table--
selling white doves in a cage--
insurance of the money-changers:



This makes me think of Jesus angry in the temple.
How do you write like this?

quote:

I was dismissed for lack of sacrificial meat.



Nothing to sacrifice!!!!! Holy!!!!!!!

quote:

So I became a child again
and lived in morphine dream
I closed my eyes.
I closed my ears.
I probed too deep for piety.



The drugged stillness of color and shape.

quote:

I met a man who told me once,
"You'll not find God within syringe."
I looked at him
through idiocy--
and asked:
"Is not God EVERYWHERE?"



The pain in this....

It reminds me of

God is nowhere.
God is now here.

quote:

So he washed the dust then from his feet.



Entering a new temple....

quote:

So here I am in my lament--
resigned to walk a path alone.
It's okay with me, yanno--
I was born that way.



Sigh, here's you. All the way to "Yanno."
Though you might be alone in distance,
I hope you don't feel alone
in the mind,
the soul,
the heart.

This whole poem feels like a scream
for understanding
(since acceptance
is impossible)

I've accepted that.

quote:

(You know.)
I know, that's how I'll die--
the same as I am now.



The repetition of yanno (as you know) and (I know) is geniius.
And this made me sad. To feel so alone and apart. *hug*

quote:

But oh-I-plead-with-you
in this dark night of my soul--
I'll pray for grace
and mercy,prove--
even if it means demise.



Complete devotion, born of desporation,
desolation
and...?

quote:

Can I stay with you tonight?
Oh let me rest with you one night...



And now it's a love poem of the soul!
Without breaking character
or bread........................

*thump*

quote:

Perhaps this wretched loneliness
is incentive that I need
to make me look for YOU--
the Truth.



And now,
back to the spiritual plane
that yr intelligence and heart
requires.

quote:

I am in need of sustenance.

Let me wash your feet tonight.



.....................................................this poem is a miracle of the pen. Such striations of doubt and hope and faith and hate and loathing and prayer and .......

You've written you!
God I love this poem!
You've written you!!!!!!



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-09-27 02:17 PM


...


*I'll be back when I catch my breath!*

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
8 posted 2002-09-27 03:16 PM


Mike
only you had the bravery.
this poem
is so powerfully beautiful
and deep
I was afraid of it
and ran
but I can read it forever
now
Karen --
we thank you for this
and for you
b

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-09-27 03:21 PM




(sigh) Oh my gosh, this is excellent, I am speechless, though I know how both admirable and embarrassing it could be to have your name marked down as the epitome of complaining in the book! (big hugggsssss) You speak of this yearning for enlightenment so well, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
10 posted 2002-09-27 05:53 PM


Wow, I'll be back when I can find something to say besides....."I'm speachless".....

~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-09-28 01:44 AM


I want to thank you all---so I will. Thank you.

But especially, Brian--my adorable muse who helped me yank this out of me achin' head--our conversations are a constant source of inspiration...eternally grateful.

And Mike? I do owe ya big time. I seldom ask people to read my stuff, but I was feeling awfully lonely and misunderstood at that point, and your breakdown of it, was so on-the-money....grinning, I deliberately edited leather bindings to leather "bind" to convey just that double meaning of imagery.

And wanted to add? That this verse?

"I sought the glory--majestry
of cathedrals--gilded God--
compliantly I opened my mouth
to taste the bread of Divinity.
I covered head to tred into
the temples that engaged me so--
I was not hallowed to pray
because--I was, and still remain--
unclean--an accident of birth?
created thus by you?
So I bellowed at your servant,
"Why was my birth allowed?""

Was my expression of my fury as I encountered blatant misogyny in several of the Patriarchal centered organized religions who would not allow me to learn or patronized my inquiries simply because I am a woman.

Thank you all, but my guys, a million hugs with kisses for making me feel UNDERSTOOD.

love to all.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
12 posted 2002-09-28 07:11 AM


ah'll be back... uhm, sometime.
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
13 posted 2002-09-28 09:32 AM


Karen,
been without phone/electric a couple of days. I wish that I had this with me, during.
These words should be consumed as "these gifts" have been.

Stunned, wrecked, amazed.
....and now, rendered mute.


~Ed


GOlDsparklESS
Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428
central nj
14 posted 2002-09-28 10:39 AM


oh yes, this is deeply
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
15 posted 2002-09-29 11:18 AM


No longer mute, I want to say that I believe this to be Art in it's truest, finest definition. I know nothing of poetry, I do know that when a person opens him/herself to their very foundation, distils the essence found there and offers it up to public perusal,

That
Is
High
Art!

You do what I could only hope to, with this.


~Ed

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

16 posted 2002-09-29 01:26 PM


Ed?

Thank you.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

17 posted 2002-09-30 02:09 PM


Serenity,
Ahhh...

I should've seen that.

Oops on my part.

Damn, this is good writing.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
18 posted 2002-09-30 03:34 PM



ALL of what the Squirrel man said...ALL!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

19 posted 2002-09-30 06:03 PM


hmnph...that all you got to say about it?

Ser... this is indeed a lament...a baring of the soul that would be impossible to follow.

you write as your soul is....and we are richer for it...

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

20 posted 2002-09-30 06:14 PM


I'm a man of few words, Ron.
Now I'm going to stop talking for once.

Mikey

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
21 posted 2002-09-30 08:38 PM


Well M'lady...Thine book lies in open wonder. Each a temple, yes..and a poetic story that you've just lightly touched upon. Wail..lament..sing above the white noise of oppressive assumptions. There is but only one you. Perfectly, spiritually moving.

Sincerely,
Reg

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
22 posted 2002-09-30 11:56 PM



Just so the Cpat knows...I came back for a third read...

and THAT's all I'm going to say about it...

until I come back for the 4th time.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

23 posted 2002-10-01 12:04 PM


If the sun keeps shining at night? I may get a swollen head...

hmmm..

studying the situation...

prolly not!

But oh...you all make me feel so good.

Understanding is better than drugs.

and Reg? you too were right on the money in sensing that I "held back"--I did.

But the praise of so many that I respect means much to me...more than I can say?

(hmmm...maybe I should TRY?)



I don't know how to "not" go for it---
everything else seems empty.

and? psssst...to bsquirrel...think blades of grass for the first verse (don't discount Whitman) ...And the triple?
"yanno" to "upper case" you know, to lower case, "you know" was my feeble attempt at personalizing Holy trinity....

my gosh?

grin...

yer all to good to me...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

24 posted 2002-10-02 08:56 AM


And now I've spent a lifetime--
I searched for your face in the clouds.
In caution I split blades of grass
blowing cacaphony call
hoping you would hearken to my childish plea.

I studied words I've still not heard
spoken aloud--profane-
but my heart desired arms
to breach the sky
I reached to find
and yet I found you...not.

So I began The Quest of Knight--
a child in search of Holy Grail.
I looked for you
in leather bind
sure that I could find you there
wise
between the lines of sage
on pages aged beyond my years
yellow in the frailty
of foolishness of open book
some maps drawn from those on run--
and they were just as blind as me.

I sought the glory--majestry
of cathedrals--gilded God--
compliantly I opened my mouth
to taste the bread of Divinity.
I covered head to tred into
the temples that engaged me so--
I was not hallowed to pray
because--I was, and still remain--
unclean--an accident of birth?
created thus by you?
So I bellowed at your servant,
"Why was my birth allowed?"

So I washed the dust then from my feet.

Then I questioned everyone--
like mother frantic for lost child--
gripping on the arms of strangers:
"Tell me, have you seen?"
Everyone replied "they had."
Each time they spoke, I felt defiled.
Each time I asked--my shoulders sagged--
as they described...themselves...

I learned to speak their languages--
I married thoughts born from the signs.
My flesh was forty days--tempted--
with always silver on my mind.
I learned about the crucifixion--
I learned to striate sacred heart.
I learned the weight of selfish feet
compared to feather-weight of cross
carried for just someone else...

======================================


Ok.....with worship knee pads on...I will make a mothy attempt to do this justice...
I read this last week from Marks computer when you first posted it..before I was even half way thru...I emailed the link to home to my comp till I had time to give it my undivided attention...while reading it I was shaking my head and saying "damn" over and over...
when I got to Brians, Kielo's and Mikes replies I smiled from ear to ear and yelled out YES!! ....

One of your best...but on a VERY LONG LIST....
Mikes first reply about how fast you grow nailed my thoughts....
this is a pefect example of what I have said many times before...you write so impressively and so intelligently on so many subjects, with such depth and intensity.
This is an amazing write KA...you took your poetry to a higher level with this inspire..
the metaphors, analogies, vocabulary and imagery are poetry in motion...the meter and flow read like water running over crystal stones..your took this theme and made it your own...your pen bled blue for this and it shows.
Proof positive of what I have always said...you are poetry baby.
and? you know of course..that I was singing "Wonder" to you after I read this.  

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (10-02-2002 08:58 AM).]

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