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Open Poetry #22
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On Mark and Maybe
| Open Poetry #22 |
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On Mark and Maybe |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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On Saturday mornings, the group’s always the same They exchange news, visit, or indulge in a game Of chess in the corner as the barbershop’s chair Becomes surrounded with clippings of neighbors’ hair. For Willie, Hank and cronies, these weekly meetings Are a social event... they issue their greetings With a nod to the fellows and a tip of hat To all, they settle down for a session of chat. Perhaps once a month, the barber tends to their hair But the rest of the time, they just want to be there. Though the talk is just words heard so often before They come to add their piece and then listen some more. “Mark my words” drawls Willie on some topic or other “Meh-be... meh-be, not” is response from his brother Where Willie’s insistent, Hank’s forever the scales Seeking some sort of balance as his sibling rails. The weather, Sid’s tractor, Mizz Ethel’s vacation, The preacher, his wife, and the state of the nation Each are pondered in depth by a few aging men Who remember their virile days, and wish for then. Willie can’t start a sentence without “mark my words” And Hank’s mumble of “maybes” approach the absurd But their friends scarcely notice these habits of speech They’re long accustomed to the foibles of each. They remember these two as fine, shining young boys Raised on the Bible teachings and full of the joys Of sated bellies, strong muscles, days free of strife Before a war came along and altered that life. Both men wore their country’s uniforms with great pride And thought themselves lucky that they served side by side Willie was wounded in one horrid night attack But Hank managed to carry him out on his back They married sisters, full of grace and many charms And raised growing families on adjoining farms. Brothers stood by each other as grief came to call Now they’re left alone, not understanding it all. But Willie marks his words and Hank temporizes And the barbershop gathering realizes The words don’t matter; it’s not for wisdom they strive They’re simply talking to recognize they’re alive. |
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| © Copyright 2002 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
suthern Excellent write, This is a keeper. Sy |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This is one of the most powerful and kindest of works I have read in quite a while. Keep it up! ThisDiamond |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
this is a very fine piece of work....but not unexpected either.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern A wonderful poem. Written with a depth of understanding and a sweet look into a piece of life, made real with your words. Totally enjoyed! |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
But Willie marks his words and Hank temporizes And the barbershop gathering realizes The words don’t matter; it’s not for wisdom they strive They’re simply talking to recognize they’re alive. This is wonderful and going into my library. Enjoyed! Chris  Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"They married sisters, full of grace and many charms And raised growing families on adjoining farms. Brothers stood by each other as grief came to call Now they’re left alone, not understanding it all. But Willie marks his words and Hank temporizes And the barbershop gathering realizes The words don’t matter; it’s not for wisdom they strive They’re simply talking to recognize they’re alive."  (big hugggsssssss) Oh my gosh, this is by far one of your best poetry yet, sweet friend, I just admire those special people who face challenges of their own yet they still hold onto faith and in the end happiness fills all their hearts when things get better! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is compassionately gorgeous, I am adding this to my library because it's so touching, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Suthern, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Seymour: Thank you very much! (Does this mean I'm a kept woman? *innocently batting eyelashes*) This Diamond: What a wonderful compliment! *S* I thank you so much! Toerag: It was unexpected to me... does that count? LOL I though my muse had skipped town and filed charges against me for breath abuse. *G* Thank you so much, dear friend... your approval means the world to me. *S* Martie: I'm so glad you did! *S* Thank you very much! Nightshade: You honor me... Thank you so much! M'toe: You posted your wonderful response while I was hunting and pecking on the keyboard. *S* Thank you so much for such kindness! It's much appreciated. *S* [This message has been edited by suthern (09-18-2002 02:17 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Congratulations on a real good "real write"-----I enjoyed this emensely! ~ smiling all the while ~ EA |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ok lady, who told you that you you could make me cry?.....your muse might stay silent for a time, but when she does come out, its cause she's got sumthin' worth sayin' that ending......the whole thing...wow...it makes me think that PIP is the poet's barbershop....how many of us here write for the same reason as mark and maybe... wonderful work lady |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
A wonderful write, suthern. I will mark these words, and stick them into my library. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now...perhaps it was the names you lent this odd couple...perhaps...it was the sybolism of just hearing ourselves to give credence that we are still breathing...but I saw a whole host of folk in this little community, and I wonder, just how many of us will recognize our own in this... well done, suthern... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"They’re simply talking to recognize they’re alive." Smiles ruth...I will sincerely try to not find that so maddening in the future now...  and I typed a sentenced just now? that I find maddening...me such the liar! grin...thank you luvie... |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
suthern, beautiful words and form but more importantly a touch of real life, I could hear and feel it. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Suthern darling heart, you don’t know how glad I am to see a poem by you, and this is particularly fine. I would temporise and say this is going to be a short reply, but it probably won’t be, simply because I can’t do them. Well, I can, but I always feel I’m short-changing the writer and I never wish to short-change you. (Besides which darling heart YOU know if I said short it wouldn’t be) This is stunning writing, so incredibly real, so totally in the present. There are those who write in beautiful flowing script describe poetic wonder, and they are good, I don’t deny that they are. But you combine an element of being there, the immediacy of the now, and there are so few writers who can do that with conviction. And you do time after time after time. Truly this is superb and I love it utterly utterly utterly love it. (Oh look it’s an almost brief reply,) well, almost is good. This is fabulous and you know I love it don’t you? Mmmm I do indeed, very much I’ll see you very very soon and I can’t wait xxx PiPITIS it’s a happening  Love and warm stuff as always Mushy  Breathe through the heat of our desire Thy coolness and they balm Let sense be dumb let flesh retire Speak through the earthquake wind and fire [This message has been edited by Marsha (09-18-2002 05:57 PM).] |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I love the vivid imagery and the life you breathed into this poem, Ruth... It was like a little TV skit playing right before my eyes... Very very very good, indeed!  ~ lots of chipmunk hugsLyra |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Ah yes - and the guys say that women go to the hairdresser just to cackle with the hens... You've captured this one well, m'friend...  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful Suthern! I could easily imagine I was looking in, and eavesdropping on this little scene you've described so well ... right from the phrasing used ... to the lives and circumstances you captured so adeptly. Well done, much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
What a wonderful tale!!! I loved this Ruth!  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
packin' a punch as always suthern! I love it when you write! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
What a joyful read You captured the ambiance of a smalltown American barbershop to a "T."I love it! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I could see these old men, I know people just like them. The last quatrain is profound and tragic and hopeful all at once. Well done. Nan(Pilgrim variety) |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Earth Angel: I'm so glad! *S* Smiles are good! *S* Thank you! jellybeans: You mean my whining over these past few weeks hasn't been enough to make you cry? *pout* Where's your compassion, anyway? rofg…. Thank you, dear friend… for everything! *S* Midnitesun: Thank you so much… I'm glad they found favor with you. *S* Sunshine: I know I'm certainly guilty of "just making noise." *G* Thank you! serenity: Thank YOU for reading! *S* Kethry: That means so much to me… I'm glad! *S* Thank you very much! Marsha: Who would ask for brevity when the words are so kind? *S* You truly humble me… thank you! Madame: I'm so glad you liked! *S* Thank you very much. Nan: ROFL @ cackling… I like that! *G* Thank you! Kit: Thank you very much! *S* I'm so glad you enjoyed. PDV: Willie, Hank and suthern thank you… very much! *S* Shadowy One: Thank you very much, kind lady… I appreciate that! *S* Interloper: What a smile your "joyful" gives… thank you very much! *S* Pilgrimage: I think we all do… and are richer for the knowing. *S* Thank you! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I love it when you write, Suthern! You should do it more often! Well done! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Denise: My muse has a schedule all her very own... I think it's called "whenever". LOL Thank you very much... glad you enjoyed! *S* |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SweetSuthernGal~ I missed it ! How on God's green earth did I miss it ! Me look ashamed~  You know what ... our thoughts were certainly 'connected' without us even realizing it ... weren't they ? “Mark my words” ... geezzzzzz, what are the chances of that happening ??? I'm sitting here mouth agape ! I swear I just can't wait to hug my *spirit-shadow*~ LOVE YOU and LOVE the tenderness of this beautiful write~ PiPITIS ... It's a happening ... YES IT IS ! Now ... get that doc in gear Be square .... Or BE HERE !!! No 'iffy' about it~ *Huggers* We got cough syruple~  Love you~ ~*Me*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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