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Open Poetry #22
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Silent_nights
New Member
since 2002-09-16
Posts 6
Dreamland,WI

0 posted 2002-09-17 05:06 PM


Why do I always feel these ways... ?? Never know... please share what you think bout my poem... Thanks soo much
As Days Go By

As days go by
One by one,
Crying each day as they come.
Wondering if I should live or die.
Trying to figure out if my life is a lie.

Looking in the mirror
As days go by
Seeing the sadness of my heart that dies.

Seeking the help
I need to servive
Nothing seems to help
So must U die?


By: Sara

© Copyright 2002 Sara - All Rights Reserved
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
1 posted 2002-09-17 08:07 PM


Sara, two things. Firstly I think you posted this in the wrong forum. Critical analysis is probably better if you want opinions on structure and technique. If you are asking for comments on the emotions of this poem I am not going to preach about the wrongs of suicide. I am not sure if I misread the poem, that maybe it doesn't go as deep as that, but if the pain does. then running from your problems, especially in that manner will solve nothing. I don't know what
is causing your pain

"Trying to figure out if my life is a lie." Everyone feels this confusion at one point in their lives, life is is an open book and sometimes the possibilties can be daunting. Sometimes we feel like we have painted ourselves into a corner but there is always a way. Just keep searching and have faith. Things will improve. Take care.

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-09-17 09:19 PM



Very sad thoughts, indeed.  Perhaps you need to look around and tell us what is good about your life, and we can help build on that...

looking forward to more of your posts.

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