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Open Poetry #22
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Solitaire
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Solitaire |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Solitaire The window was open and crickets hummed in the warm summer night when he told her, let the words out fast, taking deep breaths at each pause, like he had practiced how to say good bye. Now the light from a full October moon shines and patterns the wall to lace and the branches of the elm tree dance like graceful fingers across her bed. She hears a faint click, click and a steady hum, she knows the sound of solitaire, she is aware of the lonely heartbeat it represents, sometimes the sound of the world crashing is so soft, she thinks. A faint light shows through the crack, her hunched back a silent statement, the computer lights the mood of a hand on the mouse, and she almost says her daughter’s name. But the word won’t come, her voice is as helpless and as tired as a limp rag hanging on the line on a windless day. She feels the weight of a question and it hits her and tares at the heart of the mother in her. So the name is spoken with the voice of a cracked heart and then she is looking through and breathing the perfume of her child's dark hair and the mouse is dangling in the stuffed pain of an empty room. --- a repost |
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| © Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
oh Martie, this just grabbed me......I felt it......so very well done. *s* If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Dang Martie...this just aches! You amaze me... ~Heart-hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Martie, I too am at a loss of words right now but this is heartachingly powerful, God Bless You and my heart goes out to them both, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - touched me you did with this writing. Your talent shows... BC |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Martie, this brought tears and a quick intake of breath. Wonderful words. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Wonderfully written Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Martie~A very touching poem. Your words ring so true. Thanks for sharing with us these pages of blue...Paul |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Martie, this is beyond powerful..an excellent write that grabbed all my senses..it's a keeper! You've proven time and time again that you can write about any topic and make it yours. Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is the one I did not think I could reply to... just yet... on my third reading, I still... cannot... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
A heartbreaker, Marti... beautifully written, indeed ~ hugs and tearsLyra |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
horribly painful, that one...too real, too well done, your use of 'tares' instead of 'tears' is profound! wrenching! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
This one deserves an extra hug for ya.... Beautiful words Martie...Ya dun really gud.. As always in your smooth and silky way.. |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
How i read this three times, thoroughly was enthralled by the story-telling, and thought i told you so, only to find out i didn't! Shamey shamey. Reading a poem such as this literally takes the sap of life in small taps as the reader goes through the lines. Marti, keep writing like this! jeff |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
quote:this sums the entirety of the poem - it seems that the words "goodbye" (especially when "practiced") should be much harder, something i wondered at until i came to this line. your words breathe so softly throughout, bringing the feeling right in line with this stanza like a gentle push on the back of the head. repost well received. C |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Martie, Ah, you meant computer solitaire. At first I thought you meant the click of real plastic playing cards. Ah well, one can dream.  As your poems always do. Mike |
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