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Open Poetry #22
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Cpat Hair
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0 posted 2002-09-13 10:03 AM



It must have started low in the gut
As the whine almost rumbled
But tore at parts of my primal ear
Letting me too know a part of the pain

Her head tilted backwards
As if indeed the primitive nature
Of the agony wanted release
Straight to heaven

Tears
D
R
I
P
P
E
D

Anguish reigned

No moon packed howl
Of coyote compared
To the cacophonic
Rent

It is hard to admit
You lost
At trivia

© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Interloper
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Deep in the heart
1 posted 2002-09-13 10:07 AM


Hugh grins here
I love it!

(Does that statement require a disclaimer?)
                                      

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Earth Angel
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2 posted 2002-09-13 10:10 AM


You had me sad, scared and a laughin' with this one!

It was very effective how you vertically dropped the letters of "DRIPPED" down the page. It literally gave me a sinking feeling.

P.S. I hope I understood "trivia" correctly. ---the game Trivial Pursuit?

Enjoyed this poem---you really had me going!

Earth Angel

Cpat Hair
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3 posted 2002-09-13 10:14 AM


Disclaimers may be added at the discretion of the person commenting as is felt neccesarry and appropriate to avoid offending those that do not find one line responses appropriate. Sincerity is optionally available with tongue in  or out of cheek. No warranty is expressed or implied in this clarification, but other trivial and insecure states may demand such protection under penalty of gentle sarcasm.

this offer not valid in the state of mind I currently hold nor is it redeamable for cash or options on future opinions. As with all dangerous toys, such words should be kept out of the reach of small children and kept in a cool dark place to avoid discoloring sensitive ideas.

:->



Kethry
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4 posted 2002-09-13 10:28 AM


YOU LOST!

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Cpat Hair
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5 posted 2002-09-13 10:30 AM


Chuckling.... Kethry... if indeed it had been a real occurance..you are correct... I would have been the loser.
Cpat Hair
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6 posted 2002-09-13 10:33 AM


Earth... this is just a reflection of an opinion I have about trivia in general as well as trivial issues that seem to cause us so much pain. I plead guilty to doing exactly what you said...drawing you in just as trivial matter often draw us in and make our lives miserable because we allow them to become the mountains they are not.

thank you for the comment and for taking the time to read.

VAS
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7 posted 2002-09-13 10:34 AM


Ah, if this were the only form of agony we might face, it would surely then be the most severe...
hehehe, as well as the least. if ONLY

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Cpat Hair
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8 posted 2002-09-13 10:37 AM


VAS... yes indeed..... if it were the only agony we face....
serenity blaze
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9 posted 2002-09-13 10:57 AM


I must be having a mid-life crisis. I'm not sure if I can define trivia at all. I just crave a couple of pieces of pie, yanno?
Martie
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10 posted 2002-09-13 11:00 AM


Ron

Is a smile trivial...cause you just gave me one.

Sunshine
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11 posted 2002-09-13 11:00 AM



Trivia, indeed...

packed with messages, this is.  I just this week compared trivia of self to what occurred to so many...the losses experienced, and yet...don't we all need to feel that "this" is what is important to us today...and nothing, ever, should be trivialized because NO one knows better than ourselves what we have put into something...

ah, now you've got me thinking, but then, that is something you do very well....

Cpat Hair
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12 posted 2002-09-13 11:26 AM


Ser... if pie you crave be sure it is "blues"berry to match the agony of this poem..It deserves no less. ;->

Martie... no smile given or received is trivial... if this made you smile then indeed it perhaps raised the poor excuse for writing shared above the level of the stuff roses grow in

Sunshine... How indeed do we define trivial and or trivea? ALL is relative to the person and to how the events occuring are processed.


Cpat Hair
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13 posted 2002-09-13 11:36 AM


Help ME!!!! I'm dropping down the page and no one may see this and I may feel neglected.... or that my efforts at a work of art are not appreciated..........


Midnitesun
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14 posted 2002-09-13 11:42 AM


OK, so you made me throw my 'Today's Trivia' list into the Trashcan.
I really didn't want to spend my day off fretting, anyway. Thanks.

Cpat Hair
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15 posted 2002-09-13 11:58 AM


Midnite... make sure you don't throw away the small things that make you smile! Just drop off the ones that make you frown at the recycling center so they can be turned into ferilizer.


Midnitesun
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16 posted 2002-09-13 12:04 PM


Smiling here. Yes, I do separate my refuse.

Cpat Hair
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17 posted 2002-09-13 12:08 PM


Chuckling.....and I can't spell or type as evidenced by the replies I have made... perhaps I should seperate my sense of humor from my sarcastic integrator and rework the overloaded intuition module so that it is less sensitive to the belt of time's constant friction. Then again such an overhaul of the general system might cause the old barkerator to fail in which case I could turn out to be entirely too kind due to the over ride circuit implanted to moderate frequent and sudden changes of heart..
Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
18 posted 2002-09-13 12:08 PM


Cpat Hair
Interesting write, enjoyed.

Cpat Hair
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19 posted 2002-09-13 12:16 PM


Thanks Sy.... written with tongue implanted very far in cheek I fear... and for my own amusement as much as any other motivator...
I appreciate your taking time to drop in and read...

Midnitesun
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20 posted 2002-09-13 12:17 PM


ROTFLMAO.
Running streams of unconsciousness afflict my feeble circuitry daily, so I understand.
Barkerator or Barkerometer?
not to mention my speed typing degenerating problems

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (09-13-2002 12:19 PM).]

Cpat Hair
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21 posted 2002-09-13 12:25 PM


lacking the social graces usually implanted in childrens minds at an early age by welll meaning but often misguided parental types, I was optioned out with the barkorater model that tends to make people think me surly if not modulated. The caustic effects of a dry and sarcastic sense-o-humor storage cell does sometimes create an erosion of ionic waves that are picked up by other peoples sniffoutthesmartasses meter as being above the levels safe for humans. Regularly scheduled maintenence including replacement of the BS filters is recommended by all that are in contact with my types for any extended periods of time.

To quote from the warranty provided when I was born:

"All opinions and ideas expressed are not those of anyone who has exhibited good sense, but remain the sole responsibility of the life form now handed to you."

paladin
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22 posted 2002-09-13 12:31 PM


Reminds me of "Weird Al's" song "I lost at Jeopardy".

paladin

Midnitesun
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23 posted 2002-09-13 12:38 PM




Oh no, someone broke in and stole my BS filters!  

I couldn't find the 'bump' icon. This post is too funny to slide into oblivion.

Sudhir Iyer
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24 posted 2002-09-13 12:45 PM


Ron, my friend... I verily liked the combination of the words "cacophonic rent" ..

that even sounds great...

and the poem... a new style that I see in you my friend... but I like it... and as far as trivia is concerned... some reckon simplicity is trivia; a most beautiful one...  

Regards,
sudhir

[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (09-13-2002 12:49 PM).]

Cpat Hair
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25 posted 2002-09-13 12:47 PM


Paladin..Weird Al huh? Geez...he has hair and is the envy of all slightly warped men with pattern baldness as represented by the staute recently erected in Likeibelievethat AR. in his honor. I personally not being familiar with the song mentioned will take the comment as sincere and well meaning.
( besides it was a long one line reply and my sense of dignity will allow me to accept those as being legitimate as well as meaningful as long as my ego can be fooled into thinking it has been stroked.)

Thank you... and please forgive my terrible sense of insanity today, I am usually much quieter and better behaved.

Cpat Hair
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26 posted 2002-09-13 12:51 PM


Sudhir... I too like the sound of those words together and how they invoke more than either alone will. As for a new style.... I today am just in an insane mood and it reflected when I wrote the piece with the idea of it being a parody for how we at times are about trivial matters and let them upset us much more than is neccessary.
thank you for your comments..and do not think the simple is trivial... for there is a difference between allowing simple pleasures to wash over you and being able to enjoy the small things in life and letting the minor irritations or percieved slights rule you....

Sudhir Iyer
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27 posted 2002-09-13 12:54 PM


by any chance are you peeved?


have fun and enjoy life, my friend... and the tide shall pass...

regards,
sudhir

Cpat Hair
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28 posted 2002-09-13 12:54 PM


Midnite.... now now...if you are running around without you BS filters changed you don't want to overexpose yourself. Besides..I hear you can frostbite the rather delicate places if you expose yourself.

Now..where did I put that osillyscopic transmitter.... my double entendre guage needs to be adjusted

Cpat Hair
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29 posted 2002-09-13 12:57 PM


Sudhir... me peeved?...no my friend... I am fine today. Not at all peeved or irritated, but instead see things in a light of irrational illumination that causes me to attempt to be a bit funny.... and probably irreverent. Please take no offense..I mean none....
Midnitesun
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30 posted 2002-09-13 01:02 PM


I only get frostbitten when I run around in my camelhair bikini. Just ask Larry.
Maybe irreverent, never irrelevant.
(re: Sudhir reply)

Sudhir Iyer
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31 posted 2002-09-13 01:03 PM


not at me... I didn't mean that... maybe just in general... anyway have a nice day, my friend... and a good weekend too...

I shall be around in a while or more...

regards,
sudhir

the_loner_23
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32 posted 2002-09-13 01:03 PM


I could feel the emotion. I loved it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Cpat Hair
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33 posted 2002-09-13 01:14 PM


Loner, thank you... this was meant to be funny and not to be taken seriously... but was written to try and pull from the reader the emotional response in the beginning  only to find it was written not about some tragedy or great loss, but about something trivial and thereby illustrate how we as humans react to the things around us often over reacting to the things that in the long run are not really important.

Cpat Hair
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34 posted 2002-09-13 01:16 PM


Midnite... doesn't the Camel miss the hair? I assume you din't use much to make the bikini, but the poor thing now must have a bld spot as big as I do and may get sunburned. Besides..I would think camel hair to be a bit "itchy" and uncomfortable...but then again perhaps that is why.... one can only wear a hair coat for so long before it must come off.
Midnitesun
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35 posted 2002-09-13 01:20 PM


True, kinda like a cat can only hold down a hairball for so long.
Haha, that camel spit at me, so I left him be...no hairs lost, least not onaccountame.

Tiersdin
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36 posted 2002-09-13 01:30 PM


Heeeey! Scoot over everyone and let me comment too! *chuckling*

Ron, and you know what I'd normally say- The full name! *grins* You had me going with this poem. It's nice to read your smile again!

LOVED IT!
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

serenity blaze
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37 posted 2002-09-13 01:34 PM


*shaking my head*

you DO have a naughty streak!

Cpat Hair
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38 posted 2002-09-13 01:46 PM


Hairballs???? Now why is everyone picking ont he fact I have no hair????? (No wait...that wasn't at all aimed at the fact I had no hair.....so never mind the tirade I was about to go on.)
Wait...no hairs lost at lest not on acount of me? How do you know no hair has been lost due to you? You never caused someone to worry? ( wait...worry is not a proven cause of hair loss...so never mind that tirade either)

Tiers... glad you dropped in... and always room for jello you know...(wait...we weren't talking about jello were we..sorry)

Ser... Me a naughty streak???? I am mortally wounded you would think such a thought. My father the minister is surely crying in heaven at you accusing me of such a thought.
(wait..he is probably crying from laughing so hard at the fact II would deny it...so never mind..)


Sunshine
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39 posted 2002-09-13 01:53 PM



Here's my form of the "bump it up" smilie...


Midnitesun
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40 posted 2002-09-13 01:54 PM


ROTFL. Coughing this one back up to the top, then I've gotta go do something about the decaying organic material hiding in my refrigerator. Have fun!

Cpat Hair
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41 posted 2002-09-13 02:10 PM


Decaying organic matter in a fridge? hmmm... according to the department of conservation for the state of Ohowhiareyou, decaying organic matter in the fridge is a great source of renewable energy. If properly treated with supplements one can grow extrodinary amounts of biologic experiments some of which have been documented to produce enough gas that a small rodents space heater can be powered virtually free. One needs only to consult bulletin 1000552xcg262r4d5g6ggg ( which by the way can be looked up on the internet using this easy to remember publication number) to find complete instructions on just what experiments are best for this sort of power generation. It has been shown I must note, that the use of the fridge for growing such experimental life forms to be used in generating power has not been approved by the Government for use as a tax break.

Another option explored in this bulletin is how to change residences in order to avoid having to remove before said decaying organic matter from one fridge.

I highly advise everyone to read and study this as ther ewill be a test of sanity as soon as the boys with the jacket that extra long sleeves arrives.

Cpat Hair
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42 posted 2002-09-13 02:27 PM


OH WAIT!!!! I have consumed vast quantities of space and hovered near the top  of the board all day.... much longer I am sure than many postings that are serious and well written works of art...so I must post another disclaimer:

"Warning! Looking over the postings of good poets and posting only one line replies has been proven to be a fact of life. To avoid feelings of inferiority or insecurity it is advised all writers maintain a sense of humor about themselves and about the words they write. While all efforts are made to treat everyone equally, those who pay me the most will get the most replies from me. Should this disclaimer come in conflict with local opinions this disclaimer shall prevail as ruling law. No animals were hurt or kileed in the writing of this disclaimer and all federal guidelines for safe disposal of useless ideas followed."

(for a complete transcript of this and other disclaimers write to your own address and wait for several weeks before answering)

Midnitesun
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43 posted 2002-09-13 03:01 PM


LOL, thanks for the tip! and here I was wondering what Biology 1 experiment my daughter could do right here in the convenience of our own humble abode without me having to go out and buy any additional supplies.
You saved my day!

Cpat Hair
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44 posted 2002-09-13 03:19 PM


Biology... I remember that..we were taught that cabbage leafs were used by humans to explain procreation of the species and that no one should underestimate the power of organic matters ability to produce all sorts of strange reactions to the human olfactory glands.

Your daughter would do well to experiment with the productioon of methane gas! All it takes is the before mentioned organic matter and a rubber bladder to collect the gas in, which can then be shown to be flamable! think of it.. the only known side effects from such experiments are the occaisional house fire and or explosion....



Midnitesun
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45 posted 2002-09-13 03:32 PM


ROTF. But who needs a rubber bladder? The natural equipment works fine for me.   
OK, so I'll let go of this thread for now.
Thanks for the fun!

Cpat Hair
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46 posted 2002-09-13 03:46 PM


Wait! You should know I just read in the New England Journal of DM's ( that backwards MD's) that experimenting by children with unknown organic substances is the number one cause of lower abdominal pain in children under the age of 65. So please monitor your daughters experiments carefully and if she should accidently ingest any portion of the unknown organic matter take her immediatly to a horticulturist for pruning.


Midnitesun
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47 posted 2002-09-13 04:56 PM


You just have to have the last word on this, dontcha.
But then it is your postit...
LOL at your humor. It's quite easy to digest, believe it or not.
The world spins more evenly when laughter balances trauma.
Not that I notice how it spins.

NewEnglandlazurlu
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48 posted 2002-09-13 05:08 PM


Hmmmm...I saw this earlier and I didn't read it as I thought you might be sick or hurt or in dreadful pain.

But then curioisity got the better of me this afternoon and I just had to see if you were okay.

Obviously, you are not a well person!!!


You suckered me in beautifully.

Good job....Hugs, Marti

Every now and then take a good look at something not made
with hands -- a mountain, a star, the power of the ocean.
There will come to you wisdom,

nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
49 posted 2002-09-13 05:10 PM


too tired to do anything but ;}

M

Cpat Hair
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50 posted 2002-09-13 05:21 PM


NewEnglandlazurlu: No I am not a well man.... those guys use big trucks and drill for water, oil or gas... I'm a data jockey by trade... as for suckering you in... well I am told in a previous life I was a con-man and made a living out of bilking sweet old ladies out of their life savings by selling them a machine that allowed them to talk to their relatives over a strand of wire. Unfortunately for me this was in the late 1700's and SWB didn't yet have full access to all the neighborhoods I visited.


Nakedthoughts.: ( make a note to self to someday get over what that name does to you everytime you read it) I'm sorry you are tired... hope you get rested and feel better soon...

Magnus
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51 posted 2002-09-13 05:28 PM


Ron,  you are on a roll today....without
a doubt...and I liked your disclaimer..
excellent!!

Yes,  trivia to some can be Mt. Everest to
another...depending on the perspective of
each....

Thanx,  enjoyed the write..

jellybeans
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52 posted 2002-09-13 05:33 PM


oh gosh, you had me going....I have cried like this.....for real.....gut wrenching...
but rofg...not at losing Trivia.......rofg
very nice write

Cpat Hair
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53 posted 2002-09-13 05:35 PM


Magnus... I'll have you know i did not sit on a roll today nor did I roll in the grass leaving green stains on my good clothes. In fact, I don't think I saw a roll today....but have been known to eat one from time to time depending on whether they were sticky buns or dinner rolls... Now I admit to having at least once having rolled in the hay ( but we don't talk about that in here as it might upset someof the more delicate sensibilities that are a part of the poetic community ( geez this could lead to another disclaimer in order for me to stay politically correct))

Seriously.... ( make note to be sure I can be serious by attempting to resolve the middle eastern situation in spare time)

Thanks for taking time to read my nonsense...

Cpat Hair
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54 posted 2002-09-13 05:42 PM


Jelly!!!!!!!! Yum!!!!!!! been waiting all day for a snack, then you show up! Oops!!!
( make note to finish reading name and not to mix poetry and desire for food as it might mislead people into thinking I was cannabalistic) never mind..let me start again...


Jellybean! Nice to see you! I have seen others cry like this and experienced it a time or two myself.... but I fear I mislead the poor readers into thinking I was serious when in fact I was only using artifice to draw them into my parody of trivia. I am bad... and will go home this evening and sit myself in a corner spending a great deal of time thinking about how I should play nicer and how ugly my behavior was to civilized and sane people ( make note... self, don't forget to be contrite when addressing all these people in the future)

Hope all is well with you my friend...and thank you for taking time to read...



serenity blaze
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55 posted 2002-09-13 06:16 PM


I strongly suspect that you were just desirous of a spanking.

But then, here I am, aiding and abetting once again...hmmm...think we can arrange for TWO spankings?

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