senyru--loner's challenge, I think

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Open Poetry #22

senyru--loner's challenge, I think

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-09-10 09:42 AM

sins of the summer
coated in sleek white shimmer
winter blankets ground

©September 10, 2002

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

[This message has been edited by VAS (09-10-2002 09:43 AM).]

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

1 posted 2002-09-10 10:03 AM

You knew I'd have to read it it it was a Haiku or Senryu, didn't you.

I love it. In fact, I think you wrote a Haiku

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2002-09-10 10:21 AM

one purest said that if it has a metaphor in it it's not haiku, I wasn't sure, but I thought perhaps coated and blankets would have to be called metaphors

and I don't think I can say it has a twist at the end

I always used to think the syllable count and nature as the subject was all that was needed in the 3 line form

now, I'm often too daunted to call anything haiku

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2002-09-10 10:52 AM

VAS,
The write was right, enjoyed.

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