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Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2002-09-09 10:17 PM

Stranded on Sun Island
©2002 C.G. Ward

we read Homer's lyrics
as if a mouthful of adventure
could build a vertical transom
to bridge the gap (you to me)
between understanding and justification.

wonder how you'd speak
if i put away the J. Crew smile,
and traded it in
for a different branch of the truth;
the premise of reality based on a perception
of desires.

but i still wake to the heat
of a wasted afternoon,
finding my dreams
as substantial as Calypso
fading into the rise of light
and leaving behind
a spirit of fictional dust
to sprinkle over a memory.

see,
over there on the corner is a woman:
vacant eyes, insipid sighs, and a limp
she sometimes forgets to fake.
her misspelled cardboard sign
bleeds the daylight from tonight,
reminding me that all have a story.
And mine,
mine will never match the Odyssey.
no, come tomorrow,
i'll still be stranded on Sun Island,
and you'll still be Illusion.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-09-09 10:18 PM

Wonderfully written

Cold hands means a warm heart

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

2 posted 2002-09-09 11:34 PM

There's no way I'd want to demolish this awesome work. I have only one small suggestion, it seems that you should add "an" in the last line...

enjoyed!
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

woodtic
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 87

3 posted 2002-09-09 11:57 PM

GEE a vertical transom to bridge the gap. Are you on top or under neath? Is the gap vast or just a touch apart. You are highly humble in words so fair It makes me think it's you up there. So perhaps the gap is a bit large after all.
Nothing like a great write to set one off.
Enjoyed.

geenabee
Member

since 2002-09-10

Posts 59
NC--USA

4 posted 2002-09-10 02:19 AM

deep
made me feel dumb
and i have a college degree, heh heh
but not in this stuff
perhaps i should keep webster's handy
so that i can understandy
all the finer points of stuff
you guys write here like it's nuff-in.
nice ta read ya
seriously
thought provoking and powerful
geenabee

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

5 posted 2002-09-10 02:28 AM

loner - thank you.

Tier - Hey you.

Thank you for the praise (and lack of demolition). As to your suggestion - considered that, but wanted to instead personify illusion as representative of the person this is "talking to," thereby intensifying (hopefully) the effect of her not being there. Ergo, no "an" and the capitalization. Make sense?

hugs

woodtic - too cool, and thanks! wondered even as i posted this if anyone would catch on to that little bit of potential i put in there. i considered running it even-up (*grin*) but opted for a little more difference and some guesswork as to who sat on the top looking down. a sincere thank you for grabbing onto the little details.

geenabee - that has nothing to do with you, honest! i get those complaints all the time... it has nothing to do with intelligence, i think, but sanity - see, i'm off waaaaaay over there, and am difficult to follow at times. (ok, most of the time)

thank you for reading, glad i could pinch a little extra thought into your evening.

Chris

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 2002-09-10 02:54 AM

Christopher, I just love these lines below, they spoke to me with a soft rhythm.

but i still wake to the heat
of a wasted afternoon,
finding my dreams
as substantial as Calypso
fading into the rise of light
and leaving behind
a spirit of fictional dust
to sprinkle over a memory.

Just beautiful.

Maree

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

7 posted 2002-09-10 06:34 AM

"J. Crew smile" ~smirk~

this is lovely. i hate it ~weak lol~. but its lovely. had to say so to spite myself.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2002-09-10 07:09 AM

So you left the J. Crew in my hands, grinning.

Well done.

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

9 posted 2002-09-10 07:41 AM

"but i still wake to the heat
of a wasted afternoon,
finding my dreams
as substantial as Calypso
fading into the rise of light
and leaving behind
a spirit of fictional dust
to sprinkle over a memory."

"see,
over there on the corner is a woman:
vacant eyes, insipid sighs, and a limp
she sometimes forgets to fake."

Ah Chris ... I do enjoy your imagery and phrasing, my friend. This makes me want to write you another tribute piece!

Wonderful and thought provoking, very much enjoyed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2002-09-10 09:04 AM

Excellent piece of work Christopher!
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
So you won't ever forget me ~

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

11 posted 2002-09-10 05:49 PM

Hey Chris, I do get it, btw. I thought that's what you were going for but had to put my two cents in anyway! *chuckles*

good to read you!
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

12 posted 2002-09-10 07:06 PM

Well.

The sheer beauty of this has me at a loss. In fact, Chris, I think it's one of the most beautiful you've written. You seem to improve every time you write a poem lately.
Never did like using the word beautiful in conjunction with poetry really. But I find that it suffices here.

When that poetic mood is on you, you should always listen to it.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

13 posted 2002-09-10 08:18 PM

Hmmm...stranded on an island with you, now there's a though

Miss you dear friend. Great piece of writing as always

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

14 posted 2002-09-10 10:40 PM

You are amazing Sir....I would have to concur this is one of your best.....

Lauren~

I need some distraction
...oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

15 posted 2002-09-10 10:58 PM

Maree - Thank you for your comments lady.

Meeghan - Knew you'd appreciate that line. I've an explanation below, because, while I can CERTAINLY see it, it might be somewhat different from what you read.

Hugs you.

Kari - You're holding my smile? Now that brought some interesting images to mind! Thank you kind lady.

Kit - Ah, you are such a flatterer! If you enjoy, then I am twice honored. Hugs cutie.

Nancy - Thank you!

Tier - LOL - uhm, asking if it made sense was in reference to my explanation, which, sometimes get so tangled I can't even understand them later *grin* I do appreciate the comments and suggestion, honestly!

K - i would hate to see you get stuck on such an insipid adjective...

thanks you

Ruth - Naughty girl! *eg* thank you, good to see ya 'round! Hugs

Lauren - *blush* Naw, just mouthy. Heh. Thank you lov-er-ly lady, you make me smile.

Because there has been some confusion on this, I went ahead and threw together a brief outline of what I meant with each part. Just for the record (or CD, noplus) this poem is entirely fictitious. Peace all,

Chris

quote:
we read Homer's lyrics
as if a mouthful of adventure
could build a vertical transom
to bridge the gap (you to me)
between understanding and justification.

Obvious reference to either the Odyssey or Illiad, either would work, though the latter was my intent. It references a man whos life is quite full, and is still referred to as the "Ultimate Adventure Story" by many experts.

To several queries on the matter, the use of transom I was aiming for here, is a hinged window over a door. This suggests that the "bridge" is not only slick, but also invisible (so to speak), making the transition between "(you to me)" an all but impossible one. In line we also have the connection between you & understanding (she is the one who understands her desires and wishes to make the journey) and me & justification (indicating that the speaker attempts to justify his actions and failings, whatever, disallowing that connection.

The breakdown of this stanza is basically the speaker telling the listener that they attempted to find the solution to their problems by approaching it from an unworkable direction - reading the stories of homer, and trying to match up to that would only result in a connection that wouldn't really exist any more than it had before. There are some who simply cannot see eye to eye, no matter how they attempt to approach it.

quote:
wonder how you'd speak
if i put away the J. Crew smile,
and traded it in
for a different branch of the truth;
the premise of reality based on a perception
of desires.

J. Crew: I had to laugh at the constant referencing to this, as well as those who didn't "get it." (understandably) J. Crew is one of those "yuppie" brands that people wear as a pretension; "Look, I wear J. Crew, I'm cool, hip, blah blah" (uhm, no offense if you wear J. Crew clothing and/or are a yuppie). The point here was to suggest that the speaker's smile is a fake one, one that indicates dishonesty. So he's wondering how the listener would talk to him if he were to trade it in… only, he's saying for a different branch of the truth. This leads one to think that perhaps, since he's putting away the pretentiousness, that he's going for reality… but it could also be something else, as the last line suggest; it could be him telling her what he thinks she wants to hear, something based on his perception of her desires.

The breakdown of this stanza is the speaker wondering if he could change the relationship between himself and the listener if he made an attempt to come closer to her world, since, as we discovered in the first stanza, he recognizes that their attempts in the past were doomed to fail (aack cliché!). The problem we see as readers is that he's trying to come closer to her world from the wrong angle, from what he thinks she might want to hear, instead of simply the real truth.

quote:
but i still wake to the heat
of a wasted afternoon,
finding my dreams
as substantial as Calypso
fading into the rise of light
and leaving behind
a spirit of fictional dust
to sprinkle over a memory.

He wakes to the heat of a wasted afternoon - this is meant to show him sleeping the day away, and realizing that he's doing nothing in his life save dream. Next, he recognizes these dreams for what they are. Substantial as Calypso (the nymph who held Odysseus prisoner, acting like she loved him while keeping him from going back to his family). Fading into the rise of light - this is saying only that dreams fade with the darkness… when you wake, you see the truth for what it is, not what you might wish. What it leaves behind, are faint memories for the speaker, smatterings of the dream which he cannot distinguish from reality. He recognizes that some are fictional, and that he still "sprinkles " them over a memory, which suggests that he willingly accepts that he's mixed up the truth between his dreams and the reality of the past.

The base of this stanza is speaker taking a heavy sigh and a hard look at his life. He recognizes his difficulties between reality and dreams, and chooses to accept it. There is no hard reason given for this acceptance, though I hope that tone and wording indicates (as I tried to do) that the speaker is of the type not given to much motivation on his own, and perhaps prefers fantasy to reality enough to overlook the fact that he can no longer differentiate between the two as far as his memory goes.

quote:
see,
over there on the corner is a woman:
vacant eyes, insipid sighs, and a limp
she sometimes forgets to fake.
her misspelled cardboard sign
bleeds the daylight from tonight,
reminding me that all have a story.

After the softness of dreams, we take a sudden jump to a woman on the street corner who's begging for money. The speaker describes her, showing in the one statement (…and a limp / she sometimes forgets to fake) that there is about people that which is not true; people put up faces, and what is so different from that, than the fantasy in his life? her life, to him, is a reminder that his story is but one, and that everyone has one; a reason for who they are, what they do, and the pretenses (masques) they choose to put on.

quote:
And mine,
mine will never match the Odyssey.
no, come tomorrow,
i'll still be stranded on Sun Island,
and you'll still be Illusion.

Here, the speaker recognizes that his life will never match that of the fabled Odysseus, his will be one set in the reality of his waking hours, not the dreams of his sleep. This also brings him back to the beginning, where he failed to bridge that gap, because (as said here) it is not HIS story. You cannot bridge a gap with something you do not have, or, in this case, are not.

Come tomorrow, he'll still be stranded. Odysseus managed to get off of Sun Island, and away from the Illusion that was Calypso, and thereby eventually back to his beloved wife Penelope. The speaker sees that, in his preference for fantasy of reality, he'll never leave that island, and back to the reality who is the one he's speaking of (we presume the person he loves).

So, he'll never leave, and she'll still be illusion, which tells us in one line that not only does he realize as a final statement that what he sees of her is fiction, he is also showing us that the person he's "talking to" is not the "Real" person at all, but rather the fantasy image he has of her.

A quick note: Sun Island is not the real name of the island Odysseus was stranded on - actually, I believe it was always referred to as Calypso's Island, when mentioned by name at all. I chose Sun Island as a reference to the speaker's admission of wasting the day and waking in the afternoon, pardon if that caused any confusion.

Thanks for your indulgence, just felt that some explanation of this might help make it more concrete and understandable. *smile*

[This message has been edited by Christopher (09-11-2002 12:09 AM).]

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