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Open Poetry #22

sandcastles

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

0 posted 2002-09-07 04:16 AM

Watching you,
reminds me strongly,
of watching a sandcastle being pulled away by the tide,
it crumbles in the wake of an overpowering force,
and gets lost, leaving not the slightest trace,
I wish there was something I could do, to stop life washing you away,
but you are far too soft to withstand the harsh realities that begin to envelop you

[This message has been edited by anya (09-07-2002 04:23 AM).]

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

1 posted 2002-09-07 04:57 AM

Know the feeling,

Zall

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

2 posted 2002-09-07 10:12 AM

I wish there was something I could do, to stop life washing you away,
but you are far too soft to withstand the harsh realities that begin to envelop you

I know the feeling too. Enjoyed the read. This is an excellent write.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2002-09-07 10:15 AM

yes, an excellent write, powerfully sad and helpless feeling is depicted.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2002-09-08 09:55 PM

It's hard to let go of what we cared for most and watch it slip away.

You expressed your thoughts wonderfully, and so sadly. Take care~

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2002-09-08 10:01 PM

This was a great write about situations that we all find ourselves in at one time or another. Nice work.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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