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anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

0 posted 2002-09-06 01:19 PM

You are the overpowering smell of cheap perfume in an airless room,
Thick make-up on a four year old girl,
The unnatural light from a flickering neon sign that illuminates an alleyway where the rats and rabble mingle,
You evoke something in me that makes every fibre of my body recoil in revultion,
You are the splattered blood stains on a public toilet wall,
The syringe laying in a childrens playground,
The hand that pushes an old lady down to an icy pavement,
You provoke something deep inside that makes my soul scream with repulsion,
You disgust me

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

1 posted 2002-09-06 01:21 PM

WOW! Pretty powerful stuff.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2002-09-06 01:33 PM

This is an extremely dark piece and it might have served you better in that particular forum and thought I might mention that for next time.

The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it.
Sharon

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

3 posted 2002-09-06 01:40 PM

sorry

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-09-06 01:42 PM

Anya, just because Xander broke up with you doesn't mean you need to be a vengeance demon...

Oh ...... sorry.

*ahem*

I love the power of these words.

Mikey

By the way, you don't have to post in Dark, but I'd love to see you there anyway! We love new voices! (so does the rest of PIP)

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-09-06 01:43 PM

This powerful stuff

Cold hands means a warm heart

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-09-06 01:47 PM

anya, this is some power emotion here. The images you chose to use are quite stinging and aptly portray the level of your emotion here. And? no need to apologize..."Open" forum means just that--you did not err...but there ARE some wonderful writers who seem to keep to the dark--check it out some time! And post in either forum...I'll find ya!

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2002-09-06 01:50 PM

See? What the heck do I know, it is that darn old generation gap thing again, (never thought I would say what my Mom said)

and yes, those were some powerful words in there for sure!

A. L. Becker
Member

since 2002-09-06

Posts 167
San Francisco, California

8 posted 2002-09-06 02:08 PM

anya, i love it. calls to mind the reaction of those who met Stevenson's Mr. Hyde. though they were at a loss to say how or why they felt disgusted in his presence, you have done it wonderfully. i love your use of "revultion" and "repulsion." thank you.

Annie :-

CSKpoet
Senior Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 845
Island in Paradise

9 posted 2002-09-06 02:27 PM

Poets write what they feel deeply..you do not err in what you express..EVER. That is a matter for only God to judge. now as to the way it was written: I say very creative way to express that anger, because those unrighteous evil things in the world do digust us You go girl!
Cher

Poetry is:
Passion, imagination and intellect running together.

Aloha with warmest regards, Cheryl Stewart Koomoa

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

10 posted 2002-09-06 03:05 PM

regardless of what forum this is posted in, it is a very powerful and truthful poem in many ways and you express it very well. Wonderful writing!

If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream...

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