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Open Poetry #22
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Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan

0 posted 2002-09-04 11:22 PM


*The Beast*





It starts as a trifle
just a little tidbit of pain
no need to worry at all

         and then
                 one day
                       you can't
                               walk down
                                       the steps

now, dark and menacing
blackened at it's tormented edges

after the medical test
you wait and you wait
plagued, tortured with fright
but results don't come...they don't come

and so it grows
it thrives and it blooms
in the inky recesses of your thoughts
it's spiney threads spin around the gears
weaving themselves into a new creature
with a life of it's own

A monstrosity...
it breathes fire...spits nails
and soon...
it will grow claws

born as a small problem
little more than an irksome bother

now swirling out of control
growing larger, each moment

it's magnitude swelling with panic
in the whimsey of my passion...
a demented beast
****************




Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

[This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (09-04-2002 11:24 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lyra Nesius - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2002-09-04 11:23 PM


This was good Lyra

Cold hands means a warm heart

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-09-04 11:28 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Lyra, I understand how you feel and I wish there was so much more I could do to help you and mnake the pain go away! (wipes tears) My heart goes out to you, sweet friend, I am always here if you need someone to talk to, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lyra, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2002-09-04 11:28 PM


Hugs dear lady....

I know all about this beast...and I also
know that it feeds from the table of fear
that we set before it....Dining lavishly.

Without a care in the world...

Starve it!  It will leave you alone if
only you can...

Don't feel alone Lyra,  we all have these
monsters....yours has just been around too
often to dine...

I hope it goes home soon...

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
4 posted 2002-09-04 11:28 PM


Thanks Julie...
Unfortunately, its true...
I've spent two days now, waiting for the results of my bone scan which I had on Friday....
My sister, works for a cardiologist in NY and she said that she will have HIM call tomorrow if I don't get them...
They will give them to a doctor, but they won't give them to a patient...
and I will probably get into some trouble for that... but I can't wait any longer...
~ hugs dizzy with waiting

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
5 posted 2002-09-04 11:29 PM


Well I hope everything turns out for the best Lyra.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
6 posted 2002-09-04 11:31 PM


Thanks Noah...
The situation is terrible... I have been a nervous wreck all day...
I think she hasn't called me because it must be really bad news and she doesn't know how to tell me...
~ nervous hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
7 posted 2002-09-04 11:33 PM


I hope so too, Barry...
This is waaay too long to wait for test results...
I'm scared that she's not telling me sooner because she needs a large block of time because it is something really horrible...
And I have a very good imagination.... and have done a lot of research.....unfortunately!
~ hugs for caring

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

mycafe
Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584

8 posted 2002-09-04 11:35 PM


Lyra, I hope you are feeling better knowing that we keep our prayers for you. *decaf hugs*

marie

Keep counting your blessings

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
9 posted 2002-09-04 11:36 PM


Thanks Julie...
I am really scared.  They said they found something on the scan, right where the pain was...but that it didn't look like a tumor because tumors usually show up as solid but this was diffused... it looked almost like a shadow.
The tech also said that everything else looked clear, but now I don't believe him...
I am imagining all sorts of bone metasteses all over my ribs and my spine and my pelvis...
That is the demented beast...
~ hugs for caring

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

10 posted 2002-09-04 11:41 PM


I know it's easy for me to say but QUIT WORRYING until you're sure you've got something to worry about!!!!  I know you know how important a strong, positive attitude is in all this, Lyra.  BTW...very affective poem!
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
11 posted 2002-09-04 11:41 PM


Thanks Marie...
Yes... Knowing that everyone is praying for me really helps me...
but these last 2 days have been totally horrible.
Every time the phone rings, we jump...
And I have been afraid to use my phone to make outgoing calls in case she calls,  so I have been using David's business phone. I am so glad that we have 2 lines here.
Yesterday was bad...but today was even worse.
I know the results are back but no one but my doctor is allowed to give me the results.
I have lots of friends who work at that hospital and I kept trying to trick them into telling me all day today.
My sister works for a cardiologist in NY and if we don't hear anything by tomorrow afternoon, she is going to have him call...
He will just tell them that I am a patient of his... my sister has all of my identifying information...so they will probably tell him and I will get yelled at but I will just yell back...
~ hugs for the prayers and caring

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
12 posted 2002-09-04 11:45 PM


Thanks Duncan... but why don't you put yourself in my shoes...although I am sure that you wouldn't fit into them...
They told me that something was there...
but they didn't know what it was because it didn't look like a typical tumor
(nothing about me ever looks typical)
they even made me stay later to take an extra picture of it in 3D...
They said I would know the results on Tuesday
and now Tuesday AND Wednesday have come and gone....
and I know nothing.
So my mind is busy embroidering monsters...
I hope you never have to be in these shoes because they really hurt.
~ frightened hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
13 posted 2002-09-04 11:47 PM


Lyra, when I've been waiting for test results, the doctor has always said, "No news, is good news!"---Please hold that thought! One way to help ease your pain, is to read some your wonderfully cheerful and happy poetry!

You did a superb job with this write---visually, emotionally---It was so real that I now have to go take a Tylenol---I can barely make it down the stairs! Talk about sympathy pains!

May all turn out well for you, Dear Lyra, Dear Lyra---or is that Lisa? (song) Tehe

Take Care
Linda


Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
14 posted 2002-09-04 11:51 PM


Thanks Linda...
You actually got me to laugh...
Be careful on those stairs though...I don't think Tylenol takes the pain out of stairs
~ hugs for the laughter and caring

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
15 posted 2002-09-04 11:53 PM


Don't make yourself crazy, OK?
You know the ill effects of stress.
Have yourself a Chipmunk snack and listen to your favorite music, as you read here tonight.

All the best to ya. Be not overwrought, Lyra.

~Ed (wranx)

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
16 posted 2002-09-04 11:58 PM


My prayers are with you Lyra. Wranx is right, stress only adds to the pain. Think soothing thoughts. So easy for us to say I know. If there was a way we could each bear some of your pain, I'm sure we all would. Take heart dear lady.

The White Rose~
A simple expression
of classic beauty.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
17 posted 2002-09-05 12:05 PM


Thanx Wranx...
I don't have to drive myself crazy...
I have been crazy for the past 2 days...
and before that... I had to wait through a 3 day weekend... so its been over 5 days now.
My very vivid imagination is just doing it's thing...
BTW, ....... What is a Wranx?
~ hugs for caring

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2002-09-05 12:08 PM


Lyra

It must be so frightening..I could feel how in your mind it became a monster in this very good poem...Big hugs and prayers to you, dear...I think we all wait with you.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
19 posted 2002-09-05 12:09 PM


Thanks so much, Anne... but I am now wearing the shoes of vivid imagination and my feet have grown so big that they will no longer come off until I learn the ugly truth...
even if it isn't ugly...
But I will try to relax....
Actually... writing and posting this poem helped me a whole lot...
~ hugs for caring but just a wee bit more relaxed...

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
20 posted 2002-09-05 12:11 PM


Thanks so much, Martie...
I now feel 5000 hands holding mine... its a wonderful feeling.
It really helped to write this poem... a catharsis of sorts...
~ hugs from my heart

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
21 posted 2002-09-05 12:30 PM


Hello Lyra

I felt very emotional reading your words as I remembered waiting for what seemed an eternity to get the results about my father's illness, such a frustrating time. Your words also brought back my memories of my depression when I felt there was a 'beast' inside me, filled with so much negativity.  It felt like I was down the bottom of a dark well, the sides were slippery and I couldn't get out.  I hope you find your inner strength to get through this very difficult time in your life. I have no doubt you are surrounded by a lot of love from others, as I know you are loved very much here at PIP by so many people.

Take care.....Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
22 posted 2002-09-05 12:35 PM


Thanks so much, Sue...
I am sorry that you had to go through this feeling also...
It truly is beastly...
Thanks so much for your support.
~ hugs for caring

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

23 posted 2002-09-05 12:44 PM


Lyra,
You are in my prayers.
If there were a way
to exorcise sickness
with words --

this poem would do it.

Mike

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
24 posted 2002-09-05 12:50 PM


Thanks so much for your prayers, Mr.Squirrel....
Exorcism is exactly what was on my mind when I wrote this... and it really did feel better to get my feelings written out...
I guess great rodents think alike!
~ hugs from the bottom of my little chipmunk heart

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

25 posted 2002-09-05 01:48 AM


Sorry, I hadn't realized the test results were so long overdue.  Just my lame attempt at a poorly timed pep talk.
NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
26 posted 2002-09-05 09:06 AM


Lyra, I got up this morning with every intention of calling you later and then ran across this poem. I will wait to call as I don't want to tie up your line.

"No news is good news!"  

Until I hear from you, I'm going with the good news bit. Hon, I can only imagine what a nervous wreck you are. I'm constantly praying and I know those angels are still with you.

Hugs, Marti

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

27 posted 2002-09-05 09:08 AM


Lyra, *hugging you tight*
Poignant writing my friend.  
*hugging you again*

N orth Carolina Girl
Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962
NC,USA
28 posted 2002-09-05 09:54 AM


Lyra,
A very emotional felt poem.You are so much in our prayers and know that we love you. TAKE CARE!

Juanita
"Live,Love and Laugh"

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