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Ruins in the woods
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Ruins in the woods |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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The sky is gray as dust-burned coal. Cold and clear to travel the miles. Fencepost fragments jut from the earth. Holding their image, passing their stones. A long-ruined structure meets in the woods. Windows unseen from frost held in brambles. A bruise of a door, a shattered face smiling at dwindling path, its secrets kept back. The icicle sky peers through the roofline, setting the table with light and cold hands. A comma of breath smokes in the silence. The house creaks uneasy. I settle my plans. Slashing the sky, their dark wings expanding, birds leave their voices, their questions and shadows. I enter gazebo, I smoke and I ponder. A fallen field's flourish. Her time is not mine. |
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| © Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Dark and brooding piece that requires introspection. I liked it  |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Interloper. When I was visiting Lori in Calgary, she took me to this ghostly, burned out house at the beginning of Carburn Park. There were trees crowding around it, but not even ONE branch was crossing over the roofline. We hurried on and past this cobwebbed gazebo. Then a fallen field. Then, strangely, the path she had taken many times herself had changed, with a major stone landmark to orient herself missing. It didn't help that we then kept seeing figures bending to drink from the river, even though no one was there. I'll admit, the gothic part of me had fun. The rest of me was scared witless. Mike |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"Dark and brooding piece that requires introspection. I like it!"---Mike, I had to copy Interloper's reply, because it reflects my sentiments exactly! Linda |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Linda. |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Oh great, now I can't help thinking "the path is gone!" *weak smile* Sometime, maybe, during the daylight, I'll take y' th' back route, and we can see if the foundations of the other buildings are still standing... After all, I found those first. That has me perma-creeped, y'know. Still haven't gone back.your tongue's like poison |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Yep, that was a creepy night. *kiss* I'm glad we had it. And I look forward to many more.  Mike [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-04-2002 03:37 PM).] |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Great write Mike! A place I would love to see after your terrific description. ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Very nice...I enjoyed this very much! DeaDiAmore |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
again, we ride the same cloud, Mikie. vivid imagery and loved the metaphor, m'friend...and I know, I know, I'm rushing around like mad, but time is not my friend either today!  and still pondering your Diostenene series...vat a bunch of thinking you've got me doing! ;( |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Nancy, I should've snapped a shot or two. Oops! DDA, I thank you. Sen, Believe me, I'm still pondering Diastonene myself. (it's still not finished) And go into sanctuary and check out a poem there, based loosely on one of yr challenges.I admit, I got the dance steps from you. Mike |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike Fabulous walk with you there...fresh in word..you leave me wowing. WIHWT: "a comma of breath" "a bruise of a door" and more |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Martie. What does WIHWT mean? (wild guess, is it Wish I Had Written?)  Mike [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-04-2002 05:56 PM).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
A bruise of a door, wonderful image..one that truly makes me say wish I had thought of that... very nicely penned...an enjoyable read for its words and thoughts... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Cpat! Mike |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike...yes. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ah, okay. It was the final T that threw me at first. Mikey |
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