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Open Poetry #22
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Martie
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California

0 posted 2002-09-01 05:20 PM



Take me Down to Clay

Within the bright white day
the sky is milking clouds on neglect

I can see the spent wisps as the drain opens
and empties its curious mix around and about a tree

Across the parch of pavement
the sirens are calling the dogs to be sentinels of sound
to howl ears pricked catching each other’s echo
as the valley hop-scotches and the heat waves are chalked
to catch the first drop

Oh I await the cement moan and the drum beat
the slowly moving drift of it

My skin cracks like parchment
and rustles with the scratch of empty ink tray
waiting for the touch of moist fingers
to take me down to clay

© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
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Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-09-01 05:25 PM


Martie,
You don't get that serious very often, enjoyed the read.

Bill Charles
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since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
2 posted 2002-09-01 05:27 PM


Martie - excellent write. Moist are the rains that fall, to take me down to clay...

BC

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2002-09-01 06:11 PM


Martie~
Sis, you are just so danged good !!!
I Suwannee you just keep making scenery-of-life, literally come to life~

May the gentle rains of September continue to romp you through soft poetic puddles~
LOVE YOU~
~*Me*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-09-01 08:19 PM




(big hugggssssss) Oh Martie, may your heart grow as moist as clay and form happily with enchantment and purification! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-09-01 08:36 PM



I trust the clay may break the mold...
this is so filled with imagery...
it's one of a kind...

like you!

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
6 posted 2002-09-01 08:39 PM



Martie, this is beyond excellent writing...it's a welcome surprise to see you writing in this tone.  I'm keeping this!~

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Paul Wilson
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since 2002-07-07
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United States
7 posted 2002-09-01 08:59 PM


Martie... Very well done. Enjoyed...Paul

Sweet necter from clouds above
satisfy our thirst we ask God above

[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (09-01-2002 09:00 PM).]

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2002-09-01 09:53 PM


a willingness to be born again

the metaphor is a powerful one and makes it easier to envision why we sometimes must be broken and washed in order to become new

very lovely

I think I should love to write a piece with this theme; if I named you as my inspiration, would you mind? And should I become the master poet in someone's mind because of it, then what should I do?

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2002-09-02 08:54 AM


Sy--I feel like I am always serious..sometimes more.  Thank you for enjoying this.

Bill--Still could use the rain...the thunderhead over the mountains became a fire cloud yesterday and has been burning all night.

Marge--I think I need your raindance again...seems no gentle rain appeared, and lightning struck in our mountains and started a very bad fire.  A big rain would be best if you can fix that.

Noah--Thank you, my friend...I would love to breathe some fresh air instead of smoke.

Karilea--What a lovely thing to say..you always do that.

Melissa--A surpise is nice sometimes...as your reply is to me...as I hadn't looked at this poem in that way.  Thank you sincerely!

Paul--Thank you so much for stopping by.

Virginia--Yes, of course you can write a piece with this theme...I would be pleased to have inspired more writing with my words.  Thank you!

Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
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South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2002-09-02 10:57 AM


WELL,  here is my thoughts on this....

Go get the garden hose....point it straight
up in the air.....  dance in circles a few
times,  chant some weird chant....say a
short silent prayer to the mountain god high
above your head.....and tell all the dogs
and the other howl ears to be a little
quieter....

Hot day?  Surely not....  Hot poem,  as
usual...YEP..... Excellent Write Smartie/M.



ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
11 posted 2002-09-02 11:22 AM


  Unused

fashioned first from clay
returned after use, to dust
it is a late rain's lament
that forces out man's rust


Late rains are serious biz, Martian.
Have a splendid vaca, gal!
jeff

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2002-09-02 08:00 PM


WOW, Martie... just Wow.
You're an amazing poet, you know that don't you?

big smiles here

Maree

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2002-09-02 08:14 PM


Just had to come back and have another read.. the imagery is fantastic Martie... absolutely!

I wanna write like you.

Maree

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
14 posted 2002-09-02 08:30 PM


This is awesome, Martie... your best...and its all extremely excellent...
I just love the idea of the parch turning to clay from the cool rains...
I hope you get lots of rain...but I hope that it doesn't thin your clay too much...
~ cooling rainy hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
15 posted 2002-09-02 08:53 PM


Martie...you are such an amazing writer!!
All the superlatives have been used...
So I shall just say...
beautifully penned sweet poetess.
~Hugs~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
16 posted 2002-09-02 09:05 PM


Me thinks you've used the heat to your advantage...   Just goes to show that when the temperature rises it can bring out the best in us.       
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

17 posted 2002-09-03 06:57 AM


Oh.my.god.

Do this more often, Martie. I mean it - this is good..very very good.

Brittle, tight, like reading razor wire. Does that make sense? lol..prolly not.

I also don't think anything should be changed, truly. This poem just..exist..as it should be. Was it one of those ones you felt was already written and you were merely the messenger?

K

Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
18 posted 2002-09-03 10:16 AM


This reminds me so much of how it feels to wait for good news to come, or just to feel something other than the day to day drudgery of life. How when that expectation is long in finding fulfillment, the "parched" feeling in your soul that just sighs, when that news comes or that moment of refreshment, how renewed you feel! Loved this Martie, it is deep with meaning so artistically penned! Bravo!
Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
19 posted 2002-09-03 10:26 AM


This is poetry...thought-provoking, full of meaning....

Linda

Sudhir Iyer
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since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
20 posted 2002-09-03 10:49 AM


This is classic poetry from one of my favourites... really enjoyed...

this is Martiesque....

Regards to you Martie,
Sudhir

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
21 posted 2002-09-03 11:23 AM


How thirsty the earth in the hope of rain...
You are amazing poet! Enjoyed this piece very much. ThisDiamond

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
22 posted 2002-09-03 02:59 PM


Martie - you write so powerfully with such feeling and with so many images - this is wonderful poetry - thanks for the gifts you share with us - Paul
bsquirrel
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23 posted 2002-09-03 05:50 PM


Martie,
Yes, it was too bloody hot this weekend.

Mike

Cpat Hair
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24 posted 2002-09-04 04:43 PM


nice imagery... and written so one could feel the desire for rain...and a cooling off..

funny..we are all clay
and melt in different ways with different amounts of moisture.

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
25 posted 2002-09-04 04:55 PM


I think I'll start off a second page.  
I love this Martie!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

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