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jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

0 posted 2002-08-30 02:19 PM

Thrashing the garden, he gathered
and held them to his delight. He picked them
purposely pretty, fragile and unguarded,
deflowering at will until he was only
just short of senseless.

He spied a wild one, over beyond the fence,
reaching as if to welcome the sun.
He envisioned her willowy and wanton
and he desired to possess her.
To be her rising and her setting
consumed him.

About her, one hand remained,
but shortly thereafter his nature
started the other one reaching.
Her bloom bled into pastels and
finally she paled, but only
for the season of his leaving.

He had favored her above all others
cradled her softly, caressed,
crooned and cared for her every need-
but he never understood that he held her
only because she let him;

deep rooted, she recovered.

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (08-30-2002 06:56 PM).]

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

1 posted 2002-08-30 02:30 PM

JB darling girl look you did it again, this is wonderful. Pure poetic wonder, definitely one of your best. The flow is superb and the content is simply perfect.

I love it utterly the images in this are truly outstanding, really special writing, absolutely wonderful

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

2 posted 2002-08-30 02:32 PM

I love the imagery

Cold hands means a warm heart

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

3 posted 2002-08-30 02:41 PM

marsha, thank you so much *smile* my writing has been next to naught lately which of course for a would be poet, lays me low, and I gotta say thanks your comments really pick up my spirit

loner...thank you..I always see 'imagery' in other's poetry but think mine lacking

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

4 posted 2002-08-30 02:59 PM

Oh, I like this one lots. *S* Reminds me of someone whose beauty is obvious... but whose fragile appearance belies great strength... can't imagine who that might be? *S*

Great write, dear friend. *S*

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

5 posted 2002-08-30 03:04 PM

ahhh lady, you just like me that's all, you see in me...what I wish to be....thank you for your comments and for being my friend

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

6 posted 2002-08-30 03:05 PM

Oh, dear poetess, I love this one!! It is going into my library. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

chitsank
Member

since 2002-08-13

Posts 88

7 posted 2002-08-30 03:10 PM

Nice write thanx for posting.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

8 posted 2002-08-30 03:24 PM

JellyBeans~
Imagery ... yes !
But more than that ... metaphorical perfection~

Pretty darned good for a 'would be poet'~

I'd say you would be ... cause YOU IS !!!
*Huggers*
~*marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Magicmystery
Senior Member

since 2002-02-13

Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada

9 posted 2002-08-30 03:44 PM

Such a contrast of delicate flower and careless boy. The "wild" one "tamed" him with the allowing, he learned care and she recovered after a time.... I see so many parallels that this could be drawn for. A beautiful, thought provoking write for sure and you WOULD BEEEE a poet and I think you should know it.

Love, Light and Peace,
Sherry

Cherish the good memories past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow.
But above all... be kind to yourself today.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

10 posted 2002-08-30 04:24 PM

So very descriptive....good work pretty lady...

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

11 posted 2002-08-30 06:54 PM

nightshade, what a compliment, I doubt many of mine have received the esteem of going into someone's library

chitsank, thank you very much, thank you for commenting

Marge...thank you lady, from a poetess as yourself, I am extemely complimented

magicm...thank you...I try to put a lot of 'me' in my poetry, but make it open enough that the reader might also see themselves.....thanks for your comments

toe...thank you sir, good to see you on my poem

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

12 posted 2002-08-30 08:30 PM

Well, I think the imagery is awesome...as is the message planted in the poem. Perhaps one day someone will pick me...I can be a dandy lion

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

13 posted 2002-08-30 08:45 PM

I cannot help improve what I find so much delight in...raw emotion. You did very well with this one...very well, indeed!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

14 posted 2002-08-30 08:49 PM

jellybeans

Fresh original imagery and metaphor...wonderful writing and a pleasure to read.

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

15 posted 2002-09-04 06:41 PM

Balladeer.......love that...but...I hear if you pick a dandy lion, they keep coming back???
rofg

sunshine and martie...thank you so much...I write so little these days that when one does come out, I lose perspective to know whether it is worth reading or not ...thanks again

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