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Open Poetry #22
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Streen
Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169


0 posted 2002-08-27 08:40 PM


The lilies meet
red dusk
at day's end and all
the petals crease,
        chilledpinched
by silver-moon
clouds.(which never thought
they'd get so highso quick)

The frosty stars set in,
breathing whispery days
       coined and spent.
Pollen seeps by crack,
but ne'r touches
ground, (where it
would grow at dawn)
it freezes white to purple.

Some winters come
too soon, some
dusks too red. Sometimes
the petals crease too quick.
    

© Copyright 2002 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2002-08-27 08:41 PM


I like this a lot

Cold hands means a warm heart

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-08-27 08:43 PM



Streen, the writing in this is sogood
that I am sure what I could perceiveas
errors are intentional...
which adds to the drama of this piece...

well done!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
3 posted 2002-08-27 09:03 PM


Oh yes..
The winters do come too soon
and the petals do crease too quick...

This is a magnificant piece, Streen...
Thanks for sharing it with us...
~ hugs from an old chipmunk

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-08-27 09:06 PM




(smiles) Oh my gosh, I love the imagery of this, you paint such gorgeous flowers with your words and have them sprouting with life! This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Derek, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

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