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Open Poetry #22
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-08-21 09:55 PM



'Twas Balladeer's last day at work..retirement time was here
Each customer on his last day gave blessings and good cheer.
Some gave him cash, some gave him gifts as they all wished him well
'Deer sprayed their bugs one final time and blew them all to hell.


Just one house left - old Toerag's house - he knocked once on the door
Then Toerag's wife appeared there in a silk Christian D''Or.
She smiled at him and looked so stunning in her negligee
That Balladeer was speechless! There was nothing he could say.

Without a word she led him to the bedroom and the bed
Then lay him down and kissed him as she gently rubbed his head.
They then made love for two hours straight. Her passion was intense
As 'Deer just lay there, mystified....the whole thing made no sense!

Then to the dining room they went. A meal was prepared.
Big T-bone steaks and baked potatoes. Balladeer just stared!
She then took out a dollar bill and placed it in his hand.
He looked at it with wide eyes, saying "I don't understand!!!"

She said, "It's simple. I told Toe it was your final day
And it would be appropriate to send some gift your way.
Toe said, "Screw him. Give him a buck and nothing else, you see?"
So that's exactly what you got....the dinner was on me."  

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (08-21-2002 09:57 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-08-21 10:01 PM




(giggles in thunderous laughter) Oh, you both are good, how more generous can you both be? LOL! This is very funny and clever, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
2 posted 2002-08-21 10:07 PM


Oh my gosh, Balladeer! I can't believe what I just read. You can sure come up with some stories. Does this mean war time, again? I will be looking for Toerags reply to this one. I think you may have gone too far this time.
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-08-21 10:19 PM


OMG!!  You are just too much 'Deer!
Is the part true about you retiring?
If so congrats on that...now more golf time!
Exceptional write as always...
Only you can pen a like this!

~Hugs~...and....

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2002-08-21 10:20 PM


Noah....glad you liked it!  

SmartChick...yep, you read it right...and war it may be!   Nah, I didn;t go too far 'cause Toe isn't actually married so it refers to a fictional person..no real person would marry Toe, anyway!

Enchantress...I WISH it were true! (but Mister Wall Street has squashed those dreams ) Thanks for keeping me

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (08-21-2002 10:22 PM).]

Marsha
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Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
5 posted 2002-08-21 11:29 PM


’Deer dearest heart oh WOW this is fabulous, I love the wars you and Toe delight the forums with, and this is fabulous. Beautifully written, very very funny, no one spins a tale half so well as you. And I shall await the response with anticipation and delight.

It’s a special treat to see you here tonight, these pages have definitely missed your master’s hand, and as for me well YOU know I’ve missed your fun and mirth. Krissy will spring on this like manna from heaven and gobble it up as quickly as she can. Much in the same way my eyes feasted on this absolute beauty. This is a classic ‘Deer and I’m slipping it into my library. Thank you it is utterly utterly perfect, and brought a huge grin, for which I thank you muchly


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2002-08-22 06:36 AM



A little come back up to my place never hurt anyone, right?   Smiling here...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2002-08-22 06:51 AM


Oh Michael, thank you for the morning smile!!  This was to cute but yet so wonderfully written.  Hugs.

somebody tell me, please help me....
understand.......(as sung by Trace Adkins)

{on the wings of words are spirits fly...and our souls are free~me

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2002-08-22 07:06 AM


ROFL ... some wonderful grins to start my morning!  Now "this" is how every day should begin ... with a healthy dose of your wonderful wit, charm and sense of humour that I adore. Thanks for the smiles Michael ...

Best wishes and big hugs to you,
/Kit

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
9 posted 2002-08-22 07:21 AM



He he I think that was the best gift you got that day LOL

Poor Toe, should have thought before he spoke!

Beautiful as ever my sweet friend

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
10 posted 2002-08-22 07:26 AM


First of all....I wanna know where she got that dollar?....I'll bet it was the same place she got that terrible case of VD. (I'm sure she enjoyed herself however since I haven't touched her since I found out about that little "illness" she contracted from one of those rap singers.) .......As long as the ALL the roaches are gone from the house I'm happy...(BUT BALLADEER, YA MAY WANT TO CHECK WHEN YOU GET HOME....YA MAY HAVE SOME LITTLE CRITTERS OF YOUR OWN NOW)....

[This message has been edited by Toerag (08-22-2002 07:53 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2002-08-22 09:14 AM


Balladeer,
A good and an old one but told like a classic
Enjoyed.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2002-08-22 09:39 AM


What Seymour said. *G* An oldie but goodie from an oldie but goodie. LOL

And Bal... you erred again. *G* I'm real... honest I am! LOL

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
13 posted 2002-08-22 10:15 AM


ROFLMAO....Thank you deer for the perk me up of the day. Who needs coffee
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

14 posted 2002-08-22 10:22 AM


rofg.....ain't nothing like watching toe and bal playing.......love this...rofg
Madame Chipmunk
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since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
15 posted 2002-08-23 01:11 AM


I just love these battles, Michael...
I'm waaaay to tired to write a decent reply so I'll just tell you that I enjoyed the laugh and to keep on fighting!
~ hugs from a tired chipmunk and the sandman

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

16 posted 2002-08-23 01:20 AM


Read it aloud and I swear even the dog is cracking up!
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
17 posted 2002-08-23 07:46 AM


OMG!
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
18 posted 2002-08-24 02:23 AM



Balladeer-
You are too much!  I LOVE your sense of humor!   
I need my muse to come back to life so
I can join in the fun!  LOL!
Thanks for the smile and the laugh.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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