In the beginning my heart opened slow. As she offered her love my love started to grow. She knew not what the outcome would be. Still she gave in the hope I would be able to see the beauty of her love she was offering to me.
James, it seems, by your beating heart icon that you have understood and accepted her love. Very nice piece, really, very nice. I don't think you need 'to' in the last line though, without it the rhythm is held well and the meaning is still there. I hope you don't mind my saying so, but a piece this good deserves no interruption of rhythm.
Whether on the shoal or on the shore, I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.
Member Rara Avis
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is so lovely, sweet friend, I love it, may her offer of love alwyas bring a light to your heart! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet James, thank you for sharing!
May love and light always shine upon you!
Love, Noah Eaton
"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA