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Passions in Poetry

An Offer of Love

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JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


0 posted 08-21-2002 03:39 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for JamesMichael

An Offer of Love

In the beginning
my heart opened slow.
As she offered her love
my love started to grow.
She knew not what the
outcome would be.
Still she gave in the hope
I would be able to see
the beauty of her love
she was offering to me.

JamesLee
August20
2002
© Copyright 2002 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 11-16-2000
Posts 7440
Oregon


1 posted 08-21-2002 10:07 AM       View Profile for VAS   Email VAS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for VAS

James, it seems, by your beating heart icon that you have understood and accepted her love.
Very nice piece, really, very nice.
I don't think you need 'to' in the last line though, without it the rhythm is held well and the meaning is still there. I hope you don't mind my saying so, but a piece this good deserves no interruption of rhythm.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Sudhir Iyer
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since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


2 posted 08-21-2002 10:14 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Nicely done...

regards,
sudhir
Midnitesun
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Gaia


3 posted 08-21-2002 10:16 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Very nice James, and Virginia's comment is right on the mark.
Nightshade
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since 08-31-2001
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just out of reach


4 posted 08-21-2002 11:37 AM       View Profile for Nightshade   Email Nightshade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nightshade's Home Page   View IP for Nightshade

Very sweet read. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Mistletoe Angel
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City of Roses


5 posted 08-21-2002 12:05 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is so lovely, sweet friend, I love it, may her offer of love alwyas bring a light to your heart! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet James, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


6 posted 11-19-2002 03:41 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Thank you Vas, Sudhir, Midnight, Nightshade and Noah for the nice comments...James
passing shadows
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displaced


7 posted 12-30-2002 02:59 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

*smile*
Artic Wind
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since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


8 posted 11-11-2007 01:17 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
 
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