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Open Poetry #22
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what heart heard of, ghost guessed
| Open Poetry #22 |
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what heart heard of, ghost guessed |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods 
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sometimes the words grind like calcium suck underneath my skin i feel as if your muscles ring my bones as if i hold the fleshy bands of heart beneath another chest inside my ribs my blood,your blood to breathe this soul half rotten to drink the black oil of my self and wipe the juice from your chin what it is to split spines and cat’s cradle the nerves I know beauty rapturous and how it kills: the leaves, the shadows, the light, the whole night a ringed ache inside pushing hard as birth as if to swallow that bald globe and not break: skin yawned thin as breath till you were screaming, angel’s shriek, and the crust of the moon the pain and the maddening knowing blasted, naked raped and bleeding could i i would free you lay my hands to your temples and bleed dry unearth the heart, that opens at my given word to swallow and feed, unfold it, red and silk as rose, to show you how soft, how strong and beating the fearless organ drumming: live live live live unknowing it is born to die would dream you the dream of growing older with tenderness in the yielding, to pound years over years like copper till death is the dust of birds’ wings on our hair i would wind it backwards we are born to burn, born to live ... i would be wind and water would lay you to the velvet earth to green and green kiss the silence against silence to your cheek chain daisies. i would tattoo the wrist with immortal rune where death clutches your palm and we are bones, rattled [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (08-20-2002 06:50 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Megs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Toad Member
since 2002-06-16
Posts 161 |
I loved this: quote: It reminded me of “Before I Knocked”, one of my favourite poems, if you meant to portray the same image I think you’ve succeeded (and some). Your critique message says be mean – will honest do? The poem seemed to drop off after the above, perhaps it was the fact that the beginning was so good the rest didn’t stand a chance, maybe it’s all the repetition but I found myself losing interest and going back to read the great start again. If you can capture whatever it is you captured in the first part and paint the second part the same colour I think you’d have an almost perfect piece. Hope that wasn’t too mean.  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I think this is brilliant writing... and I feel I have to disagree with Toad, for I felt the whole piece was well-tied without any drop of intensity... but that's my view, which might not mean anything but I loved this part ---------------------- to pound years over years like copper till death is the dust of birds’ wings on our hair i would wind it backwards we are born to burn, born to live! i would be wind and water would lay you to the velvet earth to green and green kiss the silence against silence to your cheek chain daisies. ------------------- I particularly loved the concept of malleable life and the colours of the earth... Thanks for sharing... regards, sudhir |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Elizabeth....for the moment I will remain speechless, and just let the drift of this lie easy over my thoughts. |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~Sinking here, just dissolving into whirls of emotion, needle pricks and numbing, my face, heat-red and holding. M. M! Oh, (sigh) M. More and more and more. For everything I see/know in this, through tears and heart squeezes, a huge sighing fullness. Damn. Thank you for leaving your eyes/self open to me. Love and everything. ~A. (I will return). |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is the way I wish I could write, Elizabeth... You have just the right amount of intensity and your imagery paints vivid pictures... I enjoyed this piece very much...  ~ poetic hugsLyra |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Damn... As patterns seem to form |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~I'm still amazed at this hand,...what it gives, the knowing, the acceptance, the secret wishing offers,...every little dissection, the breakdown and what that means. Love. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
looking around in my library for stuff I missed and stuff that is my favorite. I hadn't read this one yet. I'm all WOW's as usual, and you know my replies aren't insincere. I am always in awe of the power you have..wishing I had it. "two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
my god you grab the shoulders take the eyes fill the ears and cling to the mind long after you are read this is POETRY |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This took my breath away... really. I love reading you. Maree |
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