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Open Poetry #22
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-08-19 11:40 AM



soiled linens
tossed into the hamper
suspended at the edge
trapped by that
which was
to have covered

they hang there
mocking
chanting reminders
“the party’s over”
he’s gone
leaving only soiled linens
to ponder on

they echo of labor,
spent with love
shredded with tears
at his severing
of what they were
once,

when
eyes were bright,
skin was fresh,
pressed,
naught of wrinkles,
naught of experience,
new,
not weathered
from sun
and fun,
not spent
like rent
on an old dwelling
crumbling
under the stress
of duty

soiled linens weeping memories


©August 19, 2002

Now, I'm speaking of table dressings from a lovingly prepared meal that ended sadly.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

© Copyright 2002 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

1 posted 2002-08-19 12:16 PM


Virginia.....quiet and sad. I liked this.
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
2 posted 2002-08-19 01:12 PM


Well done - enjoyed. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
3 posted 2002-08-19 01:13 PM



Virginia, this is,
perhaps,
one of the best poems
I have ever seen you pen.

The metaphors are stamped in gold.

Well done.

[This message has been edited by Lady In White (08-19-2002 01:15 PM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2002-08-19 07:20 PM


they echo of labor,
spent with love
shredded with tears
at his severing
of what they were
once,

when
eyes were bright,
skin was fresh,
pressed,
naught of wrinkles,
naught of experience,
new,
===========================

a poetically strong image and metaphor to express your emotions with here Virgina...an aching write...well done poetess!!

If all the tear drops went to heaven
And if all the pain was confined ...
Would I be your salvation
could I make your spirit shine.

KWSB

Auguste
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
5 posted 2002-08-19 07:52 PM


Yes, your use of metaphors here is quite good and though very sad, I must say your writing only seems to get better and better.
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
6 posted 2002-08-19 08:03 PM


I love this poem, Virginia...
full of perfect metaphors.
~ hugs from chipmunk hiding in your hamper

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-08-19 08:26 PM


Virginia, Now this is my favourite of yours!
Your best by far!
You, m'dear have penned a
~Hugs, Nancy~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2002-08-20 12:59 PM


THANK YOU ALL, for your FANTASTIC responses, you make me feel so fine!!! This is a ficticious event, but know it is way possible.

Preaise the Lord, I got 7 hours of work today and will get to work in the morning, too. So, I won't be quite such a pest for a bit. Pray, please that I get a lot of work and just have time here in the evenings. I'd love to just write and read all day, but that doesn't hold down the fort.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-08-20 01:05 AM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Virginia, I understand how you feel and it is a saddening feeling, like every time I go to my grandparents house every dinner is so special to me and I want to cherish it as I know the week will be over soon and then I have to wait till next year to meet them again! (sigh) This is sadly touching, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiufl heart, sweet Virginia, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2002-08-20 04:23 AM


well, I'd like to say that I can relate but in a past time, I've gotten over it. I'm through taking stuff too seriously.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2002-08-20 05:39 AM


This is great writing, Virginia...

Much enjoyed.

regards,
sudhir

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