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Open Poetry #22
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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2002-08-16 04:15 PM


If I was driving in a convertible,
And the top would not go up,
I'd be stuck in traffic on a windy day
Behind a chicken truck.

If I made a million dollars
You could bet your life old man,
They'd get me for back taxes,
It would go to Uncle Sam.

If I bought some property,
Like a giant cemetary,
People would quit dying,
Now isn't that thought scarey?

If feces became valuable,
There's somtehing you could bet on,
I'd be the only person,
Born without a rectum.

If I entered a poetry contest,
It would be my luck I fear,
It would be judged I'm certain,
By that rascal Balladeer.

[This message has been edited by Toerag (08-16-2002 04:38 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-08-16 04:25 PM



Sounds like your kind of luck...
but don't you think he'd be fair?
seems to me your poetry
is always beyond compare!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-08-16 04:26 PM


Toe,
You are wondering under the dark cloud again.
And if you keep calling the dragon he will hear you. Did you get a new asbestos suit?

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2002-08-16 05:22 PM


Ah, sweets... you've written my theme song! LOL Well, except for the part about Balladeer. *G* I was hoping that this lil black cloud that insists on hovering over my head wouldn't affect you... but so much for my hopes, hunh? *G*

Doom, despair, and agony on me... Deep dark depression, excessive misery! If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all... etc... etc... (just be glad you can't hear me sing... or you'd have to add an earache to your woes! LOL)

I like this very much, Toe... and I needed the smiles this afternoon. *S* Thank you... and the lil birdie that whispered for me to take a peek on PIP. *S*

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 2002-08-16 05:28 PM


This is almost a record number of replies for my garbage lately...thank you all
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2002-08-16 07:15 PM


haaaaaaaa  I just added to that record  number... I usually skip poems that are about crap.

M

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2002-08-16 07:23 PM


Butt you have to admit Maureen he is kind of funny!  Having bad luck are you?  Join the club.

The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it.  
Sharon

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
7 posted 2002-08-16 07:28 PM


And if you lost your hair
and were wearing your toupee
just think of that convertable
on a wildly windy day

and I really like your poems
please keep posting here, Mr.Toe
without your bathroom humor
where would my laughter go

I could laugh it down the toilet
and plug up all the pipes
but I'd rather turn it into words
just like your candid snipes

one thing that makes this site so special
is your constant kvetch and jeer
at your very best of macho buddies
Longjohn and Balladeer

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-08-16 07:44 PM




(big hugggssssss) Oh Toerag, if he did judge you he better be fair, or he'll have a karma crisis far beyond compare of yours, hehehe! LOL! This is wonderful, sweet friend, I just love your style of poetry, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Toerag, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
9 posted 2002-08-16 11:30 PM


Hi Toe!

This is one of the better applications of Murphy's Law that I have ever read.  Enjoyed.

Shenachie

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
10 posted 2002-08-17 02:36 AM


Oh I loved the comments as much as the poem - a little cheer for Lyra too, and I agree, we need you here to cheer us up.  

The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it.  
Sharon

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
11 posted 2002-08-17 09:15 AM


"if it was not for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all"
Now I know for whom this phrase was written!

Deb

Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
12 posted 2002-08-17 10:22 AM


Smiles.... smiles.... smiles....

Neeraja

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
13 posted 2002-08-17 12:43 PM


You just can't rid of him,  can ya?  That
scalliwag of a 'Deer!   Nice job Toe....
like this...even though it seems you are
getting the stick....not just the short end
of it....

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
14 posted 2002-08-17 01:06 PM


ROFL!  This was a riot Toerag ... goodness knows I've got that streak of luck on this end too. Loved this ... thanks for the grins!

Best wishes,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (08-17-2002 01:07 PM).]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
15 posted 2002-08-17 08:18 PM


Toe,
ditto on the luck thing. Still you don't need luck when you have charm, charisma, beauty and wit all tied up  - in your best friend.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
16 posted 2002-08-17 09:18 PM


Toe, your luck cannot possiby be this bad..but I love your poem.
Smiles.
Sandra

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
17 posted 2002-08-17 09:27 PM


I'd say your luck is pretty good.
I mean, you're still alive.
With that face whoda thought
That you could possibly survive?

You don't speak any language
Well enough to order food
Yet you're here writing poetry
And some folks think you're good.

You make all women vomit
And yet SUthern follows you
And pledges her fidelity
No matter what you do.

You're a mole on Mother Nature's butt
Not part of Heaven's plan
Yet, here you are, still breathing
Toe, you are a lucky man.

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
18 posted 2002-08-17 10:54 PM


Toe... I'd say with all the friends you have here, you are a very lucky man, just think if they were all enemies where would you be... Paul
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
19 posted 2002-08-19 07:16 AM


Just my luck! Balladeer replied to the poem! Yassee how he treats me?....And I was nice to him in this one too? (At least I brought him out of hiding).
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
20 posted 2002-08-19 11:58 AM


I would give you my fervent hopes that this week be better, sweets... but I kinda hope you have to keep enduring Bal's responses. LOL (bet you do, too. *G*)
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
21 posted 2002-08-19 12:13 PM


Yanno, Balladeer reminds me of a Baked Alaska, sweet, warm and gungy on the outside,
hard and cold within....and have ya ever really looked at some of those pictures of him?....He looks like something that got loose from Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. (I have to overlook his terrible attitude toward me though, he is old yanno)

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
22 posted 2002-08-21 12:44 PM


Shoot... your luck is good compared to mine... ya old so and so...

I'd rather be lucky than good.. or was that verse vica?


Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
23 posted 2002-08-21 03:10 AM


Toe,
I think my mother warned me,
About how such luck came to be.
It was something about God passing out brains,
And somehow you thought he said trains.

So thinking you knew how to have fun,
You said you'd take a really slow one.
But eventually you'll crest the mountain,
And so much speed you will attain.

So hope your train came with good brakes,
Or you will experience quite a heart ache.
But don't let me cause you any fear,
You're distracted by the Balladeer.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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