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Open Poetry #21

Darkness

han_tigger
Member

since 2002-08-10

Posts 50
Thundersley, Essex, Uk

0 posted 2002-08-13 02:54 PM

Darkness.

The man stood in the dark,
Cloak as black as night,
His eyes stars in the darkness.
In the deep courtyard,
Barely noticeable,
A shadow in the night,
A flicker by candle light.
No more than a breath from the breeze,
A silent wave caressing the shore,
A mere flutter from a butterflies wing.
The silent footprints in the sand,
The muted passing of a cloud.
He flaps his cloak,
A birds wings as it tentatively flies away.
Concealed in the shadows,
In a blink of an eye,
A feeling.
The softess grass,
Alike as the very air we breathe.
Motionless past watching eyes,
Stirring with the breeze.
I perceive him there.
Not quite visible.
He creeps, unnoticed,
His walked this path many times.

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

1 posted 2002-08-15 10:55 PM

Well done, Hannah, I liked this.

God bless America, my home sweet home.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2002-08-18 12:31 PM

quite an eerie feel to this

if you'd like help with the mechanics, the least important, but sometimes interruptive part of writing, e-mail the poem to me and I'll proof read it for you, offering my constructive critique

I'm a teacher and though I don't catch everything, I have a pretty good eye and would love to take you up on your request for them

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-01-01 04:00 AM

eerie, yes

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