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Open Poetry #21
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere

0 posted 2002-08-12 09:44 PM


The hopelessness that I’m feeling
Is only, now, a part
Of this whole that I am feeling.
We shouldn’t be apart.
I can’t stand to watch,
The day you go away.
I feel this is a movie.
If it was I’d turn it off without delay.
Just promise me you won’t forget
The times that we did share.
If you just take my hand,
Then I can take you there.


You are fading so fast,
I’ll trapped inside a hole.
I’ve never asked much of you.
But now I must ask once.
I ask that you stay here with me.
And not for only months.
I need you here forever.
And forever we will grow.
We will grow old together,
Or together we will go.
But never alone.

I need just to hear your laugh.
It’s all that I have left.
Remember what you promised me,
That you won’t forget.


I will never forget you.
Or anything you do.
I will always remember,
That half of me is you.
Together we seem to make one.
I just can’t let you go.
But then there’s nothing I can do.
No more days to count on you.
No one’s got my back.
Now it’s hard to stay on track.
I can’t let you go.
If you stay I’ll show,
I’ll show you everything I know.
Jeremy, please don’t go.

It’s hurts inside my head.
And even in my heart.
I can’t even think of what
This would be if we’re apart.


I know this it’s all over.
I will never be the same.
When half of you is missing,
All that’s left is lame.
Well that’s the part that’ll be left of me.
The best part of me is you.
I forgive you for all the bad
That you put me through.
I know that this changes nothing.
This what I’m telling you.
It does no good but still no bad.
The best is still in you.

I know that I am failing,
Failing to keep you here.
I can do nothing else
Except watch you disappear.


I need you here with me
I’ll never ever feel
what I’m feeling now,
and to you I must reveal
That I am so deep in love
In love only with you.
But of course you must go away.
And there you’ll start anew.

You just can’t forget me,
cause remember if you do -
Just remember this last thing,
The best of me is you…

Good-bye


"Your suffering will free you."
-Otep

© Copyright 2002 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2002-08-17 09:21 AM


A poem filled with much emotion, there are times when this reader was certain what was being written was being written through a veil of tears, brought on by the raw emotions being experienced.

This is not a poem to critique at this time, until it's old and your mourning of the situation is healing. When you feel like you're emotionally well enough from the blow of its subject, maybe you could post it again stating that it's not your current state of mind so you'd like a critique.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
2 posted 2002-08-17 02:34 PM


Vas, thank you so much for caring...
but it is a very old poem...
a very very good friend of mine had moved, before i could ever tell him what i'd felt for him.
I'm heald from that, but new things come, and then a part of me forgets it, but my heart remembers... i will always remember.

Anyway... If you have a critique... it wouldn't hurt at all.



thanks again.

"Anyday now... I will be heard."
-??

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