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Open Poetry #21
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Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2002-08-10 03:49 AM






I'm Too Old
By: Noah Eaton
8/10/02

Now I never get to go to the water parks
Now I never get to feel free as the meadowlarks
Now you won't let me go mini-golf
You say I'm growing up, but its not my fault

There are so many things I never go to do as a boy
When I was crying everyday and only talked with my toys
Built my dreams of Tinkertoys and Lincoln Logs and Legos
Now you have thrown my toy box away
Now it seems I have nothing to preoccupy or talk to everyday

You say I'm too old
You won't let me play these games
You're tearing me apart
Without me I feel I'm slipping away...

In my neighborhood I have no friends
I've never gotten to spend the night with anyone or was invited to a party to attend
I just wanted to be something
If not anything

I used to cry to myself on the swingset and hang on the monkey bars
Now it's all torn down and he sight of it breaks my heart
You always push me so fast and so hard
But I feel I never get that far...
I feel time is passing me by and I can't relax...

I'm too old
You won't let me play these games
You're tearing me apart
Without me I feel I'm slipping away...
I'm too old
You're making the boy inside of me suffocate
I just want to make myself at home
I just want to feel free as a bird and escape

Now summer of love feels like some kind of superstition
Now I hardly ever get to see the mountains glisten
Now all I want to do is dream all day long
It seems dreaming of Joanna is the only thing that doesn't turn my lights off

Here I am, trying to hang on to my youth in my poetry
I don't blame you if my words you never want to read
I feel just like a hopeless infidel
Trying to find a smile, trying to feel well

I just want to eat, drink, and be merry
But you trip me when I'm on my feet
I don't want to grow old and see countless portraits
Of me crying of the dreams I've missed
And me never having my first kiss
And before I know it life's passed me by

I'm too old
You won't let me play these games
You're tearing me apart
Without me I feel I'm slipping away...
I'm too old
You're making the boy inside of me suffocate
I just want to make myself at home
I don't feel like your special little boy anymore
I feel I'm not special to anyone anymore
I feel I'm not special to anyone anymore
I feel I'm not special to anyone anymore
I just want to feel free as a bird and escape
Let me feel free as a bird...
Feel free as a bird...




(I feel glum about this summer how I found no new friends that I could spend time with and my parents seldom talked to me and rarely spent time with me, I just had to get these tears out of my heart! )




"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (08-10-2002 03:51 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-08-10 04:06 AM


I flip the finger
at the stares
and yes I am
quite aware
they think I'm nuts,
(so immature)
I say "rot--
that is manure!"
I intend to live
each day--
work to live,
and live to play!



hugs for this, sweet noah!

Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
2 posted 2002-08-10 07:56 AM


and you did it very well from the depth of your soul... I hope you feel better after writing this down Noah!



Neeraja

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-08-10 08:28 AM



As we grow, we realize
youth is in our mind...
and if we are very lucky...
we pick and choose carefully
those with whom we share it...

we're so glad you picked us!

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
4 posted 2002-08-10 09:06 AM


Noah you will always be special to someone. You are special to us.
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
5 posted 2002-08-10 09:52 AM


Noah look at all the friends you have here. Who needs the rest, hm? At least thats how I feel most days.
As for being too old to do fun things, here is a thought..once you have children you get to do them all over again. Hey, you can even borrow a child and go to the waterpark.
But I understand your sadness, I had a lot of that when I was 17 and 18, and feeling so lost. I still do, but in different ways. You can always stay young in your heart though, and you can still do young things.
Hugs
Sandra

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
6 posted 2002-08-10 11:46 AM


Noah - you have many friends, reach out my friend. Look at the mountains, see the clouds. You're a good person Noah, and I believe we all miss some of that childhood no matter how rough it might have been...

BC

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
7 posted 2002-08-10 02:16 PM


I agree with Bill, Noah...
We are all forced to grow up a bit faster than we want to...
And I think that the inner child still lives within each of us...
It really is hard to grow up.  I've been trying to do it for over half a century now, without success.
But you do have lots of friends here Noah...
and we all love you dearly.
If you need a shoulder to cry on...you know who to call.
~ loving hugs from your chipmunk friend

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2002-08-10 03:01 PM


I feel so for our youth today, when so many fear touching, so many feel the need to never let themselves be vulnerable.

Then I see some who have gone overboard because they needed to be touched and to touch so badly that they made horrid choices.

To remain in the middle, with a balance of touching and being touched and protecting oneself, is very difficult.

Especially, since more and more, people touch via cyberspace, no germs that way, save computer viruses, no one saying things like is she? is he?

The consequence, the keyboard is hard, the keyboard cannot hug...it has been said that 4 hugs are needed everyday, just to remain healthy. More, in order to flourish.

If we can find a way to take risks with our hearts and still protect our person, then maybe we shall survive.

But, Noah, you can play in the water park. Get a young cousin or young friend, spend time with them at the water park and doing 'childlike' things. That could help while you grow and have the blessing/excuse of raising your own children; of having a right to remain young. Be a big brother for someone so they will flourish in a way that seemed to have been denied you. As a teacher, I get opportunities to be childlike, even though my daughter is raised. It is a joy.

However, in regard to you, Noah, the depth of your soul, your character, your person is in your poetry, so I do not think you were deprived the gain of those attributes. Not to mention, you know the best Friend of all.

Hugs to you!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

WhileIWasGone
Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486

9 posted 2002-08-10 03:42 PM


Mistletoe Angel...You are very sweet...and I love your poem.

Enjoyed
DeaDiAmore
  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2002-08-10 03:56 PM


Noah, you have friends here, lots of them...and I'm proud to be one. Chin up now...tomorrow is another day!
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
11 posted 2002-08-10 04:07 PM


It is this transition from childhood that is so difficult. Believe it or not the older we get the more we act like a child, and it's acceptable then. You are just in that time or your life where it's uncomfortable being an adult, and unnaceptable to everyone for you to be a child. I say, *raspberries* to those who push you to give up on the child in yourself. He'll be around again, I assure you.

In truth, what defines us is our poetry.

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
12 posted 2002-08-10 05:17 PM


oh Noah....pshaw....you are feeling the transitions from boy to man (one i have not successfully trangessed myself, Old Buddy!)
But the ache of the past merging with the fates of the future are daunting.  With your vast poetic talent, perhaps some poet workshops will allow you to meet folks and share some times with them.  In any case, I am SUPER glad i have come to know you, know of your heart, and share of your wonderful love of life.  You give banquets of smiles to people you meet, and that is a rare gift, friend....very rare....and priceless.

jeff

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
13 posted 2002-08-10 07:05 PM


Noah

You are such a special person to so many people.  I was so moved and saddened when I read this and was left with a feeling of helplessness.  You can lean on me anytime my friend for my door of friendship is always open to you.  I am so sorry for your sadness and just wish I could help.  I'd like to share these quotes with you Noah :

A fire gives warmth and light,
and likewise a friend.
When I see him
I feel the joy deep inside me
like a pilgrim
who is lost and finds
the right way at last

* * *

We drop like pebbles
into the ponds
of each other's souls

* * *

A man without friends
is like a left hand
without a right


I hope you like these Noah and my thoughts are with you always.

Take care my friend

Love Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

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