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Open Poetry #21
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SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453


0 posted 2002-08-08 05:57 PM


Goodbye Laws

Give me just one last look
into your inner space
let me linger one last time
while our eyes embrace

Read my palm once again
our future to unfold
let me brush your hair away
before our love turns cold

The moon, the stars belonged to us
They promised not to fade
You turned around the universe
and tamed the tidal waves

Your power turned my night to day
Your strength stood still my heart
No sky will ever be the same
When you and I depart

I leave you now with salty tears
My heart entwined with yours
There is no way to gently leave
There are no goodbye laws
c2002SimplyGold

© Copyright 2002 SimplyGold - All Rights Reserved
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
1 posted 2002-08-08 11:18 PM


Oh I wish there were! The only thing you can do is do it the best you know how....Well done SimplyGold. Liked this.

~Beth

You look inside my wild mind
never knowing what you'll find
still I want you all the time
yeah I do
'cause you get me
~Michelle Branch

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
2 posted 2002-08-08 11:22 PM


This is such a gorgeous and romantic love poem, Electra...
I enjoyed it very much.
~ chipmunk hugs from the underbrush

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

3 posted 2002-08-11 12:59 PM


Thank you Madame Chipmunk and Skyshine. Appreciate the feedback, thanks for taking a peek.

Electra

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

4 posted 2002-08-11 10:03 AM


No good in goodbye. Death would almost be a relief and plausible end to an affair. At least one wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath or carry heavy hope. Enjoyed.
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2002-08-11 10:05 AM


Very well stated!  There are many truths in these words.  Thank you for the delightful read.

somebody tell me, please help me....
understand.......(as sung by Trace Adkins)

{on the wings of words are spirits fly...and our souls are free~me

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
6 posted 2002-08-11 10:12 AM


This poem is "simply gold"  as is your
name...  Much enjoyed..

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-08-11 11:24 AM


The moon, the stars belonged to us
They promised not to fade
You turned around the universe
and tamed the tidal waves

Your power turned my night to day
Your strength stood still my heart
No sky will ever be the same
When you and I depart

I leave you now with salty tears
My heart entwined with yours
There is no way to gently leave
There are no goodbye laws
===========================

this is a wonderful poetic mix of imagery and cadence...it was a pleasure to read aloud. The personification of natures forces to express the emotion added to its appeal


I love this verses intent:

The moon, the stars belonged to us
They promised not to fade
You turned around the universe
and tamed the tidal waves


and these lines:

No sky will ever be the same
When you and I depart



very cool analogy to define the devotion.
I enjoyed this much and will watch for more of your work. Well done!!
jm

If all the tear drops went to heaven
And if all the pain was confined ...
Would I be your salvation
could I make your spirit shine.

KWSB

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2002-08-11 11:34 AM



I must agree somewhat with Mr. Wells..sometimes there is no good in goodbye...

longbye

shutthedoorbye

even adios

if you are coming back, then fair thee well...

even good bye your leave, if you are coming back...

now you've got me wondering what it was I meant to say...Oh Yes...excellent write...

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

9 posted 2002-08-11 11:59 AM


I can see by the intense comments that this theme is one that runs deep. I have learned the hard way, that it is sometimes more painful to leave someone then it is to be left. Yes, RS I can see that you have been there.

Thank you Janet Marie, for your comments. I especially appreciated your notation concerning reading it aloud. Cadence ironically, is something that I have been studying lately. So, it was very astute of you and much appreicated that it was picked up. Maybe, my studies are paying off!

Sunshine, Magnus, Gentle Spirit, Thank you
You are right, no matter how you say it or in whatever the language, there is no easy way!

[This message has been edited by SimplyGold (08-11-2002 12:00 PM).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2002-08-11 01:16 PM


SimplyGold

Love, the invisable thread, that wraps us in happiness or unravels us...with no easy way out except to cut the thread.

You wrote this heartbreak well!

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2002-08-11 02:22 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh SimplyGold, this is soooooo heartbreakingly beautiful, sweet friend, I understand this pain and my heart goes out to you! (sigh) Always say exactly how your heart wants to say it for to love fro the heart is the true way! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet SimplyGold, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
12 posted 2002-08-11 02:27 PM


well said - wonderfully wriiten - enjoyable to read - well done - Paul
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
13 posted 2002-08-11 04:48 PM


Sometimes there isn't much else left to say when all those before me have done so...It touches many, for almost everyone has said goodbye at least once.

M

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
14 posted 2002-08-11 06:38 PM


This is pure gold, both the thoughts and the expression of them.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

15 posted 2002-08-11 09:01 PM


Yes, the invisable thread is linking us together. May we all find solace in this bittersweet universal human emotion. You have all touched each other proving that ultimately we are not along.  Thank you.

Affectionately,
SimplyGold


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