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Open Poetry #21
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Samantha G Kennedy
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 131
Kent England

0 posted 2002-08-02 02:34 PM






I

If my dreams are forgotten
        you’ll be the one who reminds me.

If emptiness reigns on a day of isolation
       you’ll be the one who fulfils it.

If grief commands my weighty heart
       you’ll be the one who consoles it.

If the clouds shower on my pathway
       you’ll be the one who shields it.

If the breeze floats me onto expectation
       you’ll be the one to anchor me.

If my faith mislays direction
       you’ll be the one to lead me home.
  


II

Somewhere in the heart of sorrow
climbs a tall but wilted tree,
stretch to reach the hand of ‘morrow
soft the call, he summons me.
I shall proudly let,  I…grow
tracing heavens breath, a timid glow.

Two sinking minds swathed in design
the shadowy pile of nothing sits,
his patterns arouse the blush in mine
shatter these walls into tiny bits.
It’s only now, that radiance can view
my yearning staring back at you.

III
                      

If my life is the question,                                    
        you are the one who answers it.                    

  If my life is the wind,                                      
       you are the scent that sweetens it.
                      
  If my life is the sky,  
       you are the shade that softens it.  

  If my life is a picture,  
        you are the colour that brightens it.  

  If my life is the sea,  
       you are the light that reflects off it.  

  If my life is with you,  
       you are the one who completes it.

S –G-K ©  02/08/2002

© Copyright 2002 Samantha G Kennedy - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2002-08-02 02:39 PM


This is wonderful and a highly interesting form! The only place I got confused was with the latter part of this stanza:


    Member
    since 07-27-2002
    Posts 57
    Kent England


                              0 posted 08-02-2002 02:34 PM                        
                                                                    I

                                                         If my dreams are forgotten
                                                           you’ll be the one who reminds me.

                                                  If emptiness reigns on a day of isolation
                                                             you’ll be the one who fulfils it.

                                                     If grief commands my weighty heart
                                                           you’ll be the one who consoles it.

                                                    If the clouds shower on my pathway
                                                            you’ll be the one who shields it.

                                                   If the breeze floats me onto expectation
                                                            you’ll be the one to anchor me.

                                                        If my faith mislays direction
                                                          you’ll be the one to lead me home.
                                                                      


                                                                    II

                                                     Somewhere in the heart of sorrow
                                                        climbs a tall but wilted tree,
                                                    stretch to reach the hand of ‘morrow
                                                       soft the call, he summons me.
                                                         I shall proudly let,  I…grow
                                                    tracing heavens breath, a timid glow.

...and I'm positive its my fault not yours, but could you help me out?

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-08-02 02:49 PM


I like

Cold hands means a warm heart

Samantha G Kennedy
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 131
Kent England
3 posted 2002-08-02 02:57 PM


Hi Vas what seems to be the problem?



Somewhere in the heart of sorrow
                                                        climbs a tall but wilted tree,
                                                    stretch to reach the hand of ‘morrow
                                                       soft the call, he summons me.
                                                         I shall proudly let,  I…grow
                                                    tracing heavens breath, a timid glow.

? ask and I shall try to help LOL

this stanza is talking of an invisible hand, that can assist us in our down times, leading the way forward *tomorrow*

the rest is of heaven, gods calling to assist growth

I see life, as a tree (like many) I hope this helps, or was it something else you were stuck on?

I know sometimes I am deep ~ Appologies

Sammie

^i^

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2002-08-02 03:25 PM


nothing wrong with being deep. . . it's good to make people think. . .

I like this form as well. . . the middle part is a good break from the first and third parts. . . you keep the rhythm well, and your images are very good. . .

welcome!!!  

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

janmew
Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 134
Canada
5 posted 2002-08-02 04:08 PM


Ahh, I really enjoyed this. Especially the first part, I could really relate to the feeling and the way you worded it.

Jan

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2002-08-02 05:10 PM


Samantha,
                                                     Somewhere in the heart of sorrow
                                                        climbs a tall but wilted tree,
                                                    stretch to reach the hand of ‘morrow
                                                       soft the call, he summons me.
                                                         I shall proudly let,  I…grow
                                                    tracing heavens breath, a timid glow.

Excellent writing.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
7 posted 2002-08-02 07:55 PM




(smiles) Yes, yes, and may true loves beauty turn all your ifs into is! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, I love the introspective feel of this, we all love you so much! You have such a nbeautiful heart, sweet Sam, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

8 posted 2002-08-02 09:06 PM


Not if but when, you've such a gifted pen.
RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

9 posted 2002-08-02 09:07 PM


Sorry, punched it twice. But read it thrice.

[This message has been edited by RSWells (08-02-2002 09:09 PM).]

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