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Open Poetry #21
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R. Dean
Junior Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 37
Illinois--USA

0 posted 2002-07-27 11:07 AM


Like errant children
words will scurry from a dream.
You want to chase them back and take control
before the night may blow its parting kiss,
and disappear.

So full of mirth,  
they cross the misty cliffs into the sun,  
so reticent to turn and take your hand.
No matter;  they are gone.

And so you sweep away the dust
and rub your eyes, remembering
this cumbersome embodied world
your midnight chariot deceived.
Remembering so faintly now
the galaxies you passed,
a distant life that for a single hour
you could touch once more,
and not the least of all
your own sweet laughing Juliette
who once again lies still and cold
upon her slab of stone


© Copyright 2002 R. Dean Ludden - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-07-27 11:15 AM


R. Dean
Subject has nothing to do with write, well done.

R. Dean
Junior Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 37
Illinois--USA
2 posted 2002-07-27 11:19 AM


Thanks....I think the title is relevant if one's perception of deja vu includes a look at past lives,  which is this poem's intention...through the aid of dreams.

Yours in peace,

Dean

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-07-27 11:36 AM


Absolutely stunning...
You just know I love this piece!
~Morning hugs~



~ I've loved you forever, in lifteimes before ~
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2002-07-27 11:57 AM


before the night may blow its parting kiss,
and disappear.

So full of mirth,  
they cross the misty cliffs into the sun,  
so reticent to turn and take your hand.
No matter;  they are gone.
========================

This is impressive writing, superb employ of imagery and vocabulary, as well as poetic phrasing and personification.
Welcome to Poetry Land R Dean..so nice to have you here with us..I look forward to reading more of your polished, well written work.

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
5 posted 2002-07-27 12:38 PM


Well done.Interesting read.
Samantha G Kennedy
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 131
Kent England
6 posted 2002-07-27 01:46 PM


This practically sang with description!


I always read poetry aloud, and here I found a great flow to your piece- the middle stanza slowed the read down for me, it fitted perfectly, truly enjoyed

"So full of mirth,  
they cross the misty cliffs into the sun,  
so reticent to turn and take your hand.
No matter;  they are gone"

Sammie

^i^

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
7 posted 2002-07-27 01:48 PM


very good poetry - I loved this read - thanks Paul
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
8 posted 2002-07-27 02:26 PM


Interesting concept and well written too
I agree ... I treat deja vu moments as experiences from past lives and I'm never wrong
I once wrote a poem called deja vu ... it's always interesting to read what others think on this matter
~
Rex

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-07-27 02:55 PM




BRAVO!!! Oh R. Dean, this is wonderful, sweet friend, I love it, it is amazing how we can all have deja vu on one thing or another, this is powerfully said, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2002-07-27 07:01 PM


Dean

You got me thinking about dreams with this one, and their relationship to past lives.  Very interesting and well done poem!  

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
11 posted 2002-07-27 08:28 PM


Your words gave me goose pimples!! Vivid images playing within the movie theatre of my mind...I look forward to more *gets out the junior mints*

Kristen

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
12 posted 2002-07-28 02:03 AM


its very creative and very cool i like it

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2002-07-28 08:35 AM



I, too, have deja viewed...
just wanting to let you know,
I'm going to like reading your works...


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
14 posted 2002-07-28 06:58 PM


very beautifully written...some days I feel like a Juliette
Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
15 posted 2002-07-29 02:02 AM


beautiful work....
look forward to more....
~~ Connie ~~

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
16 posted 2002-07-29 04:20 PM


R. Dean,
Delightful read.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

R. Dean
Junior Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 37
Illinois--USA
17 posted 2002-07-29 10:31 PM


Thanks to all of you for your reactions to this piece.

Yours in peace,

Dean

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