navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Is Superman Real?
Open Poetry #21
Post A Reply Post New Topic Is Superman Real? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2002-07-24 12:39 PM


Is Superman Real?


The boys sing
a southern twang.
Real country,
they play their Ovaltine
can drums with chopsticks
in questionable rhythm.
The girls in my long skirts
dance with strapless
hem tripping,
in baby blue eye shadow
and fruit flavored lip stick.

                   In grandma’s rough hat
                   of mothballs and dust,
                   and silk kimono
                   from a long ago Hong Kong,
                   I sang "Yankee Doodle".
                   Brother snickered,
                   mother clapped.

The boys, bath towels
around their necks,
jump from the top bunk,
their capes flare.
The girls lock the bathroom door
and giggle.

                    In mother’s strappy heels
                    clunk-clunking across the
                    impressed floor,
                    I wanted to be grown up.
                    Thirteen was the magic time.

The girls strut the hall,
soldiers in the parade
of growing up.
My girl is dressed
in my high school prom formal,
her friend in drill team wear,
straight out of my youth
they marched singing
"It’s my party and I’ll dress as I want to".

                     At thirteen
                     I got braces,
                     acne and my period
                     at the same time
                     I started liking boys.

The boys fall        .
breathless to the floor.
"Look Mom,
this is how Superman really goes."
The frayed towel edges
reach the floor
with pink floral pattern,
not incongruous to them.

                       To be a cowboy,
                       ride a horse into my future
                       was my dream.
                       There was no place
                       for this dream in the dance
                       of my middle class twirling
                       skirts

The boys want to have motorcycles
and they want to be cool.
They have learned to say,
"he done" and "ain’t".
                          
                        If I smiled
                        nothing bad could happen.
                        Dressed up, I danced
                        the song in my heart.

                        But…

                        something bad
                        did happen
                        that I couldn’t tell
                        with my voice,
                        or graceful little             girl      dance.


        My girl catches a heel
         in a hem of satin,
           the sound turns
             her face of laughter
               into almost tears.
                 Just beginning,
                    she does not realize
                      that she is almost ending.

The boys question me
for the answers
     "Mom, can I ride my bike down town by myself?"
     "Mom, today at school I couldn’t do my paper and I almost cried."
     Mom, I don’t want a motorcycle when I grow up because they’re dangerous, right?"
     "Mom, is Superman real?"
---------
rewrite from 99

[This message has been edited by Martie (07-24-2002 12:42 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2002-07-24 01:27 AM


sorry martie... posted my own superman poem here in reply to yours instead of simply saying what beautiful writing you have.....

it was the timing or something..

i love your writing and you inspired me

[This message has been edited by doreen peri (07-24-2002 07:10 AM).]

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
2 posted 2002-07-24 03:50 AM


One critique:

The repetition of “grown up”
and “growing up”
in these two stanzas:

In mother’s strappy heels
clunk-clunking across the
impressed floor,
I wanted to be
grown up.
Thirteen was the magic time

The girls strut the hall,
soldiers in the parade
of
growing up.

…is jarring

I looked for your first rendition of this… and can’t decide which I like better, the formatting does create a different kind of speech and so taking that the newest is obviously what you want to convey, I’d say that’s the right choice.

Liked this very much, Martie… you have such motion in your poems: not just a range of emotion, but a time line to them… a reader actually grows along with the words…

… but you never did answer… so, is Superman real?

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-07-24 04:36 AM




(smiles) Oh Martie, this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I LOVE IT, this is cute and shines with such sweet innocence, for I too remember asking so many questions when I was young I must have burnt my parents out! (giggles) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-07-24 11:56 AM



Dang.  It's when the questions start coming that the grown-ups have to grow up, and cling tenaciously to the dreams of the young....

How good is this?  How good is it when we wake to greet the day and all is well?  That's how good this is....

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
5 posted 2002-07-24 07:28 PM


A super poem, Martie...
I don't know what this superman craze is lately, but I had a dream about him a couple of nights ago!
~ super hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
6 posted 2002-07-24 07:49 PM


Martie....where do you come up with all of
this?   Wow!   What a rememberance of another
time and place...

Yep,  He is real,  don't you know that?

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2002-07-24 07:54 PM


Martie,
This is a super poem. Can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. "squeeze"

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
8 posted 2002-07-24 09:32 PM


Sometimes we just have to question the obvious just to lighten the air.. I love how you took me down memory lane and allowed a peek at who you might have been..(who we all used to be) and it was fun. So enjoyable but sincerely provoking are your writes.

Sincerely,
Reg

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2002-07-24 09:49 PM


Martie,

A super duper write. Liked it very much...

BC

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

10 posted 2002-07-24 10:04 PM


Awkward times those moments when pretend fades to real. Moving, thanks.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Is Superman Real?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary