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Rhyme and Reason
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Rhyme and Reason |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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With rhyme and reason I feel...... Poetry is language to experiment with, freed from the restraints of general customs of syntax, where speech or writing is evaluated according to its conformity to grammatical rules. Poetry provides a place where you can more easily access that part of the brain where creative consciousness awaits. With that in mind the poet can experiment with thoughts and images, such as the way you view a room, landscape, glass of water or bowl of fruit etc. Much the same as the visual artist would capture the moment on canvas. If a person uses this desire and ability to change the way they see or do something it tends to change their perspective with a more independent view of all possibilities. As we grow older it seems,if we let it happen, that we become more habitual in the way we see or do something and we tend to lose the freshness of our perspective. Poetry becomes the vehicle for breaking away from the confines of conventional language, a way to let go of the grip of logic and enter the world of ecstatic creativity. The need to explore fully and honestly these avenues, never leaves the mind of the poetic thinker, seeking to develop his own poetics, his sense of what he's trying to do with language, and why. In this group I rest my heart as striving to be a down to earth but tender poet and lover of the craft as I see it unfold before me. With that in mind I post a poem/ballad that I really enjoyed writing and was one of my first entries here at Passions......... Love Someone She walked straight up and elite but she masked a hidden grief. She was moving fast, forcing her laugh, too much smoke with her heat. Like desire that's gone mad her soul was never still but my dry eyes she unclad and kept my bent heart thrilled. I knew she owed her life's cares to a man that was married but he kept her dreams so impaired she'd smile a smile so weary and she longed to speak with a voice where she could show off her respect but she never got to make the choice and she suffered from neglect. One night on my old house boat she said; "I just want to love someone I want to change my scene. I just want to love someone who'll give their heart to me. I want to love someone and love them day and night, I need to love someone cause my heart's not working right." So I'd try to stroke her sore heart chords and ease the pain she'd reaped but she'd turn off as I was getting close and stare away from me. I could hear her heart when we'd begin my slow hands would shake her voice and I'd speak soft cares to give her room but distance was her choice. Then we met one night on the old house boat her face was blank unsure. So we sat on the deck and she let it out like rain her heart thoughts poured and the mind she spilled gave me a chill and I could feel her childlike hopes. She said she had a new dream to fill but she looked so down and out. So I asked her how her dream would happen because I knew she'd come so clean. So she said she left the empty mess to take a chance on me. She said she was tired and lonely and she'd try her heart with me and if we became like one and only she'd bring new life to seed. Well, she looked so pure and simple that I took her in my arms and in my ear she whispered gentle with a voice so damned disarmed. "I just want to love someone I want to change my scene. I just want to love someone who'll give their heart to me. I want to love someone and love them day and night, I need to love someone cause my heart's not working right." That was the day she came to stay! © Eric True [This message has been edited by ethome (07-20-2002 03:57 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
TWO LINES...this time...  "and kept my bent heart thrilled" OH YEAH...(serenity types wryly) And? "I need to love someone cause my heart's not working right" sigh...(serenity types a dry martini...TWO OLIVES, don't bruise the gin...) beautiful "e". I think I just drank the rest of me words. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I remember when I read this the first time, and wondered how you knew me so well. Then as I continued to read, realized, this was not for me...but just your words reaching out, touching others... Your poems always explode life, Ethome, and I for one kick myself when I have missed one, so I try to never kick myself,  and look for all of your sharings... |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Well done! Enjoyed.  Deb |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Holy Cow!!! For lack of a better comment. It truly is love when one heart can open up to another this way. Paul |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Eric This is such a sensitive portrayal of feeling....a story written so well. You took me into the words as if the story was mine, the ache WAS mine. Thank you for sharing this fine writing again! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Eric, this is so sensitive and beautiful, sweet friend, this made me cry reading it because I feel just like that woman who just wanted to be loved, there is a girl I love so much out there in the world named Joanna, and there is so much I want to tell and share with her yet I live 2,000 miles from her and it breaks my heart thinking of it sometimes! (sigh) This is very touching and beautiful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Eric, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ETHome~ 'I could hear her heart when we'd begin my slow hands would shake her voice and I'd speak soft cares to give her room but distance was her choice.' And in slow, gentle strides you stroked the right notes of her heart~  Loved it, poet~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Ethome how I've missed reading you, glad to find this beauty so I could enjoy it once again..thank you for sharing  (((hugs))) Charisma |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Eric, First off, your thoughts on exploring the creative side of the brain are very intriguing and I couldn't agree with you more. You don't just look at life, but you learn all the sides, angles, and feelings to it and then you share it with you verses. We become stronger through your works. Secondly, you know that this one is super cool don't ya? You have some really great lines in it that are sure to stick in the minds of many who read it. ======================== "I just want to love someone I want to change my scene. I just want to love someone who'll give their heart to me. I want to love someone and love them day and night, I need to love someone cause my heart's not working right." ========================== Now tell me that you aren't proud of that verse. Reads like a jewel and if I could sing I bet it would that as well. Guess we will have to leave that to the guitar man who penned it. Great ballad you left us with and I truely enjoyed. Always get into your works and come out smiling. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Eric, this is poetic perfection, and I'd say that it's one of your best! Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Thanks for re-posting this, Eric... I would have hated to miss such an intriguingly beautiful piece. I agree with Paul...it is true love when hearts can open up like that. ~ hugs from the heartLyra |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
One night on my old house boat she said; "I just want to love someone I want to change my scene. I just want to love someone who'll give their heart to me. I want to love someone and love them day and night, I need to love someone cause my heart's not working right." So I'd try to stroke her sore heart chords and ease the pain she'd reaped but she'd turn off as I was getting close and stare away from me. I could hear her heart when we'd begin my slow hands would shake her voice and I'd speak soft cares to give her room but distance was her choice. ============================== Whether youre talking poetic therory..or writing lyric and verse...I hang on your every word So great to read this gem of yours...as always your melodics mingle with your harmonies and the end result is rhyme divine Waay cool to read your thoughts as well poet pal, How she loves me, I dont understand |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Sir-- lovely to read this, knowing all the deep emotions your words touch... Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Eric, the whole thing is so lyrical, but these two lines encapsulated the feel of it all for me. "and in my ear she whispered gentle with a voice so damned disarmed." Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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cherrypoptart Member
since 2002-06-09
Posts 109state of wordthiness |
I hope this is not anyone you really know....way cool writing! |
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