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Open Poetry #21
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Of Passing Time and Loss
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Of Passing Time and Loss |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida 
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I am a spectator to an accident, merciless and unfortunate. Standing, fingers to lips – green eyes vivid and welling; I cannot swallow. There is just pain, pure and unfettered watching the destruction of something perfect. It is just by sheer proximity, that invisible tendrils reached out from me smacking you with something threatening. I sit here now, right now, and am something to be feared – but only in the way that we fear the unknown, the remote – the unpredictable. Just sitting here, how is it that I cannot listen to Croce without the haunt of you grinning, over my shoulder? Smelling like a shower, and trusting my sincerity. A friendship, too comfortable – too easy and with all the honesty I can muster, cherished…like nothing before “thanks for finally getting a song stuck in my head that I like” God, you could make me laugh – like a waterfall reckless and uninhibited. I used to hold you like a memory silky with the passage of time smoothed across my cheek, during the times when I needed to remember. Now it is salt and water, and nothing but the fading of you between parted fingers. For your sake I splay them wide, unhindered. I cannot hold water, I cannot cherish that which is not mine. I miss you though I miss you too much |
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| © Copyright 2002 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Oh, Nic... have seen, but can't respond... it's too big. will tell you, though, because I think it might be needed, that it gives what you want it to say... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nicole, when a poet makes the reader act out his/her words to splay the fingers...then you know you have a  |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
a very powerful poem that takes my breath away with the depth of the emotion it evokes. Paul |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"I sit here now, right now, and am something to be feared – but only in the way that we fear the unknown, the remote – the unpredictable." Oh yeah...I even scare myself... I read this with much interest. Um, I tend to analyze a form for awhile...and I confess that I often find free verse distant and emotionless. grin...as analytical as I. But you surpass that, and I came away from reading this feeling that "oof" of a punch in the gut. (I mean that as compliment.) Thanks, Nic. and smiles, I'll be watching you! (see? I can be scary...)  |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
see, this is where it almost seems you contradict yourself... how can anyone claim to have such a limit to their emotions, and write something that had me crying an hour after getting out of bed? these: God, you could make me laugh – like a waterfall reckless and uninhibited. Now it is salt and water, and nothing but the fading of you between parted fingers. For your sake I splay them wide, unhindered. I cannot hold water, I cannot cherish that which is not mine esp. the last, oh, love it. ... can I say the work was well worth it? That it's written with a kind of hesitancy, as if the person speaking is ... not fumbling for words... but unwilling to give over to the emotion, and so, loses the tangible feel to put it to words. What you write is so honest and carefully formed, unembellished... so it cuts right to the core, weaving imagery or not... it nearly forces the reaction out of the reader, because it's all RIGHT THERE. The emotion is bare, even when the occasional verse is poetically vague... how ironic, silly superhero, that you capture emotion so skillfully here... one wouldn’t imagine it was different in any other place. hm. something to think on. shh, you, this is one of your most stirring... |
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mycafe Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584 |
Very powerful emotions expressed here Nicole. Impressive write this is! mycafe Keep counting your blessings |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Ah, yuck - I hate replying like this, in bulk to everyone...when you've all said such wonderful and very meaningful things. I will make it up to you, all! I swear - thank you, so much, so much. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nicole~ This is a poignant piece of writing~ 'I used to hold you like a memory silky with the passage of time smoothed across my cheek, during the times when I needed to remember.' You do make the reader feel~ Thank you for that~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Neeraja Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812The Netherlands |
Very impressive and emotional...poem! Love, Light and Happiness! Neeraja |
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