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Open Poetry #21
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2002-07-13 07:03 PM



"Visitation"


This afternoon
while walking my Damndogs
(an endearment)
an unfamiliar old minivan
came trundling down
the rutted dirt lane
that meanders between
my shack and the river

The Damndogs, anticipating
A break in routine
Trotted down to meet
This stranger and escorted
Him back toward the shack

Behind the wheel
was an older fellow
perhaps a generation older
than myself

“You lost, Skipper?”
I enquired of the driver
“Not really, just exploring,
nice spot you got here.”

And that started a conversation
in which we learned
that we had each
owned a couple of bars
married a couple of women
drank a few beers
caught a few fish
read a few books
lost a couple of houses
lost a couple of bars
and  couple of wives

At this point, I realized
that my pets
were wandering off
in separate directions
catching up on aromas

So, I told the stranger
that it had been nice
to make his acquaintance
but, I had to round up my cats
(because it is often like that)

“Cats?” he says, leaving
“That’s funny, I thought
they were Damndogs”.

As we watched him rattle
his way down that dirt track,
I had the oddest of feelings

I felt that that old man
was, indeed,
lost

I felt that
that old man
was
me

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do...provided it's done in private and you wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

© Copyright 2002 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-07-13 07:05 PM



Wranx...a very good write!  I could even smell the dust and feel the heat of the sun...

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
2 posted 2002-07-13 08:38 PM


Nice write. a look into the future!
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-07-13 08:38 PM




(smiles) YAY!!! Hey, this is Noah from Poets Passing Place (Shakiras Butterfly). I always love your wonderful words and just had to read this one, this indeed has great depth and levels of thinking, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Wranx, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
4 posted 2002-07-13 09:00 PM


Visually impressive and I liked the concept.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Music Maker
Member
since 2002-07-07
Posts 152
THE ORIGINAL !!!!
5 posted 2002-07-13 09:02 PM


I am penning this as I prepare to go to bed, but before this I must take my dogs for a walk (a euphamism for 'to relieve themselves!).
Yes, They are the ones to run towards a stranger in the road, to test them out, as to whether they will be accepted, on their territory, and I trust their instincts more than my own.    Oh Yea, I have been there too, lost a few material things along the way - but what matter.   You and I are both happy and content.
Lovely words that paint a magnificent picture in my mind.
Kind thoughts,
John.

Grass won't grow under feet that don't move.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-07-13 09:03 PM


I like that they're Damndogs and not damn dogs. Glad yr peeping into Open for this!

She said burn ... together.
-TON

mycafe
Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584

7 posted 2002-07-13 09:52 PM


I have to tell you wranx that I really really liked this story.  Interesting!!

mycafe

Keep counting your blessings

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
8 posted 2002-07-13 09:59 PM


Amazing what we find in common with perfect strangers isn't it?  This was refreshing in an odd sort of way and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Sounds like a nice place you have!

Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279

9 posted 2002-07-13 11:48 PM


~,..."like bowling or decoupage", lol, hope not a passing thing this. As I so enjoyed. *Peace.
Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas
10 posted 2002-07-14 12:05 PM


Amazing reflection.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-07-14 12:39 PM


Alicia...I saw that too...funny guy, eh?

And this is a wonderful write wranx...you are one fabulous teller of tales, and I do love the wry and edgy sort of sarcasm of your style.

I have become a fan.

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
12 posted 2002-07-14 02:57 AM


another out of the park, old man
this sort of reminds me of Bukowski
Don't know if you've read him
but he's write up your dirt lane
stay loose shackman
BS.

I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
13 posted 2002-07-14 08:24 AM


I like how real all your poems seem. Concrete but still poetic. And this one is most definitely tripped out enough to give you something to think about.

"Silly bunny, there are no monsters in here." - Chrys, from Gloom Cookie

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