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Open Poetry #21

Clouded

Daniel van Vliet
Member

since 2001-08-31

Posts 80

0 posted 2002-07-10 06:27 PM

Clouded

I'm still dancing in her shadow,
doused by her haunting smile;
The world slithers down my spine
into another empty bottle.

My clouded emotions need not think
nor my heart ever believe in love.
For when you stand naked; betrayed,
nothing can take the pain away.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-07-10 06:29 PM

I defiently have expeirnced this pain. Very good poem.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2002-07-10 07:23 PM

The simplicity of pain was
written very well...
more, please...

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

3 posted 2002-07-10 09:36 PM

Daniel darling boy this is Fabulous writing utterly utterly fabulous it is extraordinarily good you do know this flows like liquid light don’t you? You’ve managed in this poem to convey the feelings stunningly. Well written and I’d love to read more of your work

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire

Daniel van Vliet
Member

since 2001-08-31

Posts 80

4 posted 2002-07-11 12:32 PM

Thank-you.

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