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Open Poetry #21
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-07-08 10:41 PM



Toerag and his wife went back last week
To the town where they grew up.
They hadn't been there in 40 years
Since Toe was a little pup.

Toe walked around and smiled a lot
As good old thoughts came back.
He laid down under the tavern porch
And peeked up through the crack.

Toward afternoon, they walked a field
Quite full and rich with corn.
Toe's wife said, "Toe, you see that fence?
That's where our love was born."

"When we were only seventeen
You leaned me on that fence,
Made love to me for the first time...
And you ain't done it since!"

"Let's do it again," she said. "Right now
Let's go and reminisce.
Take me like that one more time
And let's recall that bliss!"

Toe leaned her back against that fence
And then he dropped his drawers.
The sight drove all the cows away
And killed a bunch of flowers.

So they made love. They started slow
But, in no time at all,
They went into a frenzy as
They answered passion's call.

She tore at him! He tore at her!
They screamed their names out loud!
They scratched and clawed and bit as sweat
Poured freely off each brow.

This sad display went on and on
'Till, with a final shout,
They both fell down upon the ground
Completely all wiped out.

A small boy had been watching as
That whole sad scene unwound
Then up the hill he ran to see
The geezers on the ground.

"Boy, you old folks are something else!
You really shook the walls!
When you were young, I'll bet you two
Were like wild animals!"

Toe looked up sadly with his wife
Still passed out at his side
And said, "No, son. Back then that fence
Was not electrified!!!"


© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-07-08 10:46 PM




(giggles in delight) Oh Balladeer, you're too much, sweet friend, what other adventures will he have down that prirose path? (smiles) This is quite original and wickedly delightful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-07-08 10:48 PM



I remember this one!  
Gee, have I been around THAT long?  
Just as good now, as then!

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
3 posted 2002-07-08 11:01 PM


Oh Balladeer, you sure made me laugh. I am glad you reposted this one, cause I didn't see it the first time. And, you tell the best stories.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
4 posted 2002-07-08 11:01 PM


LOL Funny I like this poem

Cold hands means a warm heart

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
5 posted 2002-07-08 11:13 PM


This is fantastic, Michael...thanks for reposting it b/c I missed it the first time.
I guess there was a full moon that night....actually a couple of em.
Theres nothing as electrifying as electricity, and you just gave me an idea
I wonder if its possible to get the same effect by cutting one of the wires on our adjustable bed so it would have a short.

~ hugs for making me laugh

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2002-07-09 01:52 AM


You do what you do...so well!  I'm still laughing!


I’ll go to puppy class…if you’ll go to cooking class

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2002-07-09 02:26 AM


It's electrifying...James
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
8 posted 2002-07-09 09:25 AM


’Deer dearest heart I don’t care how often I hear that joke it is really funny, it brought a big grin to my face, and made me laugh out loud. Well done dear ‘Deer, you know what they say about laughter, it is always guaranteed to get you favourable attention. You do these stories so well, the flow is always excellent and the laughter is always guaranteed. I hadn’t got to this one before either, so that made it doubly pleasurable.

Wonderful writing I love it utterly utterly. Big round of applause here and huge grins, providing the mushettes are still talking to me considering what I did to my computer they will both LOVE this one. I love it utterly utterly


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire

mycafe
Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584

9 posted 2002-07-09 10:46 AM


This is so hilarious, I can't stop laughing !!

~mycafe

Keep counting your blessings

Lisann
Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350

10 posted 2002-07-09 11:56 AM


LOL.....this was very funny.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
11 posted 2002-07-09 03:35 PM


And even though this may be true....I at least got some....more then Balladeer can say...and....I got it up BEFORE the electricity....also more then Balladeer can say.....but...this is a well written piece of garbage....
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
12 posted 2002-07-09 03:42 PM


I like the way you told it. I'm chuckling as I write. Cute!

Nan

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
13 posted 2002-07-09 04:17 PM


Nobody does it like you 'Deer!...Nobody!!

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
14 posted 2002-07-09 04:43 PM


Oh I am having too much fun today.
(everyone at work wonders what I'm laughing at)

I love it 'deer!

~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2002-07-09 05:35 PM


I remember this one well... but it still gives the giggles. *G* Now if only I could get in line for the next charge? LOL
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
16 posted 2002-07-09 05:53 PM


Touché, I think Toe is still feeling a bit shaky today LOL

As always, your wits make me smile

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
17 posted 2002-07-09 06:34 PM


I'm with Nan...there's nothing like hearing you read this one in person....loved it then, love it now
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
18 posted 2002-07-09 10:22 PM


An electric fence huh?? Gives a whole new meaning to the concept of vibrators!!

Danger...wet floor...Duncan had another accident!!! Puppy training classes to come.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

19 posted 2002-07-09 10:31 PM


chuckling......here I am off to bed.....
geez.......what kind of dreams might I have.......lol........
Wonderful Michael...thank you for the treasure.

Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal.

{on the wings of words are spirits fly...and our souls are free~me}


Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
20 posted 2002-07-10 05:48 PM


’Deer Hi there, I was going to have mum’s head on a platter, but she say’s she didn’t do it deliberately. However is it just a coincidence that I was about to post another poem? I wonder

This is another that I hadn’t read, and it is perfect and so very very funny, I think your wonderful humour will keep me giggling and smiling all through the summer. Your ability to gauge your audience and the way you write constantly amazes me, really excellent writing thank you very much for posting this

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

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