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Open Poetry #21
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bags123
Member
since 2002-06-06
Posts 128


0 posted 2002-07-08 12:30 PM




When I awaken
from my slumber
coughing from
my last
cigarette

I go downstairs
to  make the coffee
start again
my days
vignette

Mumble to the wife
and kids
How did you
sleep
last night?

Did your dreams turn
into pallid swans
that fly
with morning
light?

Often have I wished
to stay beside
those gentle
snowy
birds.

Whose feet caress
reflecting pools
without
saying a
word.

Then, I burn myself
from rising sun
the day
decides
my fate.

Cold showers rain
upon my skin
teeth brushed
or I'll be
late.


© Copyright 2002 bags123 - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2002-07-08 12:30 PM


I love animals. Great write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-07-08 12:33 PM


back to reality, eh?

I like the slow unfolding here, from dreaming to wakefulness. You brought me there, then woke me up again.

Enjoyed.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-07-08 07:05 PM




(smiles) Wow, I love the slow transition from dream to reality in this fabulous piece, sweet friend, this is wonderful and gracefully falls with poetic excellence! (big hugggssssss) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
4 posted 2002-07-08 07:34 PM


Another great write, Bags...
Swans are beautiful animals, but they can be wicked.
I hope your dreams didn't turn into nightmares....
and...................
you have got to stop smoking...and then you will be happier because you will stop coughing, and your life won't turn into a nightmare.
Sorry about the soapbox...but I am recovering from cancer and just the thought of a cigarette will get me on my soapbox to lecture anyone who is puffin.

~ pleasant dream hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2002-07-10 04:29 PM


well, yeah i can relate...
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