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Open Poetry #21
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Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA

0 posted 2002-07-06 08:10 AM



Internally Yours

The surgeon knows
where the heart lies
lay quiet, pounding in
the grasp of thump

but he cannot cut
out the ache of pain,
transparent but mightily
sincere in sensation

he cannot diminish
the desire, nor calm
the qualm…

she looks into his eyes
as he says there is no draught
for the drought,

no Rx to rid her
mental state of the flurry
that hurries her
thoughts along, for her
heart is found empty
of her own
song

He knows the maladies
of milady,
extending to her the briefest
break of the tragic knowledge
she was yet again
in the wrong time
wrong place
wrong
space

Will it matter, he
asks, if her heart might not
ever repair, she can
certainly live on

for her body will still function
though no compunction
for her lips to smile,

sustenance will feed her,
only her soul may starve,
limbs will move along, though
no one need know the strings
of the master

He pats her hand,
indicating there is nothing more
he can do

he is only a surgeon,
and he has no potion
for this ache
of love


© Copyright 2002 Soleil Noir - All Rights Reserved
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
1 posted 2002-07-06 08:17 AM


Awesome...

~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-07-06 08:44 AM


Soleil Noir
The perfect potion is in your mind. Good write.

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2002-07-06 10:00 AM


Only the journey of the mind can find the
healing of the heart....For,  when we find
the inner peace of knowing who we are...
we heal....and lead the way for others to
follow..and appreciate us for who we are..

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
4 posted 2002-07-06 10:31 AM


Soleil Noir--
Beautiful write.  Sounds a bit like "Physician, heal thyself."

Shenachie

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2002-07-06 11:09 AM


Soleil

He may not have the cure...but he certainly has a good bedside manner.  You write the ache so well!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-07-06 01:55 PM


Soleil, this aches but at the same time is SO beautiful!  
Well done!
~Hugs~

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
7 posted 2002-07-06 02:26 PM


I love the contrasting (or questioning) pairs:

calm, qualm
dought, draught
maladies, milady
etc.

and, here, the favortie lines:

sustenance will feed her,
only her soul may starve,
limbs will move along, though
no one need know the strings
of the master



love the concept. and you know, you write it
(though gently) the way a textbook might read
when describing symptoms (was that intentional?)... only critisicm:

the heart lies
lay quiet


lies lay? It skips...

Well, done Soleil. enjoyed.

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (07-06-2002 02:29 PM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2002-07-06 03:32 PM


Marvelous writing...James
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
9 posted 2002-07-06 11:49 PM


This is absolutely beautiful, Soliel...
Such amazingly true thoughts, expressed through your poet's pen.

~ poetic hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

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