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Open Poetry #21
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ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA

0 posted 2002-06-30 03:14 AM




As a Sky Falls

it broke a covenant with g*d
and fell
crashing to earth
scattering its white lifeblood
in invisible curtseys
and last bows.
no one noticed
no one cared to care
when heaven touched the soil
and a new congress was made
kindled by interlinked coexistence
so subtle it was missed by mortal eyes
only seasons of withering felt the nuance
of the alien invasion
of morality.


(an oldie from some personal archives
from my Picasso days)


© Copyright 2002 Picasso Lyrics - All Rights Reserved
Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
1 posted 2002-06-30 04:10 AM


I was touched by the title..."As a sky falls", and I like the poem too!  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-06-30 08:24 AM



Jeff, there is more here than meets the soul....

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2002-06-30 08:29 AM


ShadowRider
Certainly something to think about, enjoyed.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-06-30 08:32 AM




BRAVO!!! I'm with what Karilea has said, there is so much more and we take it for granted so much but I believe looking up to the heavens and keeping them afloat is what will inspire us further! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jeff, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
5 posted 2002-06-30 09:00 AM


Jeff darling boy I think this is utterly utterly spectacular. This a truly outstandingly fabulous poem. Such precision of placement, such a fabulous flow and form. You paint the scene darling heart as only you know how to do. You combined the imagery with your words in perfection. Truly perfect writing, and I love it.

Truly you are a master at these poems darling boy, and I love it utterly utterly love it. Phrases as elegant as only you know how to present them flow like a clear stream of liquid light, words placed with the delicacy of a painter.


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
6 posted 2002-06-30 09:27 AM


For certain, there are a few golden souls that noticed, standing by with open heart to immortalize the birth of dreams.
Bravo. ThisDiamond

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2002-06-30 10:01 AM


enjoy
texasrose
Member
since 2001-10-24
Posts 146

8 posted 2002-06-30 10:03 AM


very well said Jeff

[This message has been edited by texasrose (06-30-2002 10:06 AM).]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
9 posted 2002-06-30 10:06 AM


Jeff,
who do you think you are? - Chicken Little.
Seriously though I loved the feel of this.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2002-06-30 10:08 AM


to be human is to be mortal, and immortality doesn't appeal to me.  Spirituality, now that is what it's all about.  enjoyed Jeff.




[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (06-30-2002 10:11 AM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2002-06-30 11:25 AM


LOL@Kethry!
Great piece Jeff..made this reader stop and think.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

cherrypoptart
Member
since 2002-06-09
Posts 109
state of wordthiness
12 posted 2002-06-30 03:35 PM


Very very well done.
ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
13 posted 2002-06-30 11:22 PM


Neeraja, the title in this poem came first,
and the thoughts came after easily.    You are most kind!

Sunshine:  don't ya know it?!   manna from above
can take many forms of disguise, but the thanks
should tumble easily from our tongues
sooooo  
Thank you, Sunshine!

Sey, Yes, amigo!  I often wonder whether I have the done
the right thing, and have decided to let my conscience
decide all matters of conflict.  And, conscience is little
more than the heart seed of God.

Muchos gracias, amigos.
Thanks for your generosity!
JkF

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
14 posted 2002-06-30 11:26 PM


Hi NoahGuy!  Hope your weekend was prosperous
and peaceful.  So many times we dwell in the house
of despair even though those days are outnumbered
by Happier Days 3 to 1.  Thanks are in order for all
of us, every day.

Blushing ferociously
Thank you, Maaaaaaaasha!  Here, for once in my life,
I think I achieved the brevity in words that represented
the enormity of thought I was hoping for.  It only happens
once in a while, but it's a gas when it works, huh?  
Thanks sweet friend!

TD, I DOOOO love that response!  A poetic line worth
the weight of my diamonds.  Beautifully said!
Thankx, Td!

Thankx again, y'all!
Jeff

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
15 posted 2002-06-30 11:33 PM


TexasRose:  hmmmm  I bet we have met once before.
(patting my head thinking)  hehe
Thank you for indulging my bit of nostalgia here, TR.
Hope you have been well….haven't see you much…

Kethry:  I will have to admit something here.  I got the inspiration
for writing this after reading a science fiction novel.  But the funny
thing was, I couldn't concentrate very well because I couldn't strip
out this goofy image of Chicken Little!  True story….crazy huh?
Thankx Keth, and take care, K?

Nance!  Happy weekend, gal.  Que pasa, amiga?
I know I know….Kethry cracks me up, too!  I laughed
out loud and Batman gave me the weirdest look.  
Thanks Nance, soooo much.

CherryPop Tart:   your reply is as sweet as your name,
and humbles this writer.  Thank you!

Be well
and spread Peace,
jeff

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