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Open Poetry #21
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Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands

0 posted 2002-06-29 01:59 PM


Empty Heart


What you called love

was nothing more

then shallow words

written on sand

to be washed away

by the waves of the sea

leaving me

with an empty heart...





© Copyright 2002 Neeraja Wittebrood - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2002-06-29 02:05 PM


Not a fun feeling...always leaves a great
big gaping hole where something special was.

Nicely written....thank you...

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-06-29 02:07 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Neeraja, this is so very sad, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I hope soon that true love comes to your shores and forever leads you into the coral reefs of dreams come true! (sigh) This is beautifully heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Neeraja, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-06-29 03:26 PM



You make the possible seem improbable,
Neeraja...not an easy thing to do...

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
4 posted 2002-06-29 09:56 PM


Neeraja,
I like the imagery and the idea behind it.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
5 posted 2002-06-29 10:39 PM



Well said, you used a great metaphor and gave it a simple and to the point elegance.  I've known this feeling before and eventually the sand allows you to build another sandcastle

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-06-29 11:24 PM


Quite sad but beautifully said.
Enjoyed, Hugs~

Ivy Rose
Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300
MA, USA
7 posted 2002-06-29 11:31 PM


Wonderful writing. The sad fact is that some loves are like this...washed away by an ebbing tide.  ***Ivy Rose
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
8 posted 2002-06-30 01:18 AM


nice little analogy here between lost love and the effect of the tide on a sandy beach,,welcome to Passions


Auguste
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
9 posted 2002-06-30 03:04 AM


I'm late, but WELCOME to Passions.   Yes, build another sandcastle and another until once can stand the test of the tide.  Nice work!

Michael

mycafe
Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584

10 posted 2002-07-01 01:35 AM


So true indeed ! This is such a lovely poem.  

~mycafe

Keep counting your blessings

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
11 posted 2002-07-01 01:41 AM


but i have a complaint i do i do
is not everything love? why be so quick to deny yourself the awareness of what is?

Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
12 posted 2002-07-01 05:42 AM


Thanks Magnus... Noah... Sunshine... Kethry... Melissa... Enchantress... Ivy Rose... Ecrivan... Michael... Mycafe... and Eagle Scorpion for your nice comments on my poem, I am new here and I am surprised by all the people who welcomed me and respond to my poems!  It feels as a warm shower of affection!  

Love, Light and Happiness!

Neeraja

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