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Open Poetry #21
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-06-29 01:53 AM


Bottom is
a sheet of glass
broken like pieces of us
Bottom is
retreat of past
returning as a succubus...

The end?
is just the pendulum...
it swings to its own length...
however high it made you feel?
That is how far that you will sink.

I sweep glass
of my own break--
creating diamonds on the floor.
Somehow wax
is not enough--
I wanted life to offer more.

[This message has been edited by serenity (06-29-2002 06:13 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
1 posted 2002-06-29 02:03 AM


The end?
is just the pendulum...
it swings to its own length...
however high it made you feel?
That is how far that you will sink.

===================================

Oh yes, those words are so very very true.  Excellent writing as usual.  Full of thoughts that initiate a higher understanding of the risk in all that we choose to delve into.  I do like the way your mind works even when I feel as though mine isn't.

Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
2 posted 2002-06-29 02:17 AM


quite though-provoking, yes, indeed

and love the formatting, perfect, mhmm

oh, and, your constructive critique encouragement quote...i'm just laughing 's all.  hehe

BrandeeM
Junior Member
since 2002-05-01
Posts 45

3 posted 2002-06-29 02:26 AM


Quite some thoughts here!!! enjoyed this!!!

[This message has been edited by BrandeeM (06-29-2002 02:27 AM).]

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
4 posted 2002-06-29 02:28 AM


The last stanza just rocked my screen sis...

oh you know...

Drop me a line??? *anxious*

you take care lil miss surprise!!!
Love ya!
~me

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-06-29 02:39 AM


Ouch. Smile. Think I cut myself....

sighs and tsk-to-me...

thanks guys.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2002-06-29 10:27 AM


Does life offer us something or do we have to MAKE something out of life? I enjoyed this missy.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-07-01 10:33 AM


The end?
is just the pendulum...
it swings to its own length...
however high it made you feel?
That is how far that you will sink.

I sweep glass
of my own break--
creating diamonds on the floor.
Somehow wax
is not enough--
I wanted life to offer more.
=================================


some get diamonds ... some get coal...
sometimes we can turn coal into diamonds...
but we have to have a really tight place to shove them!! I mean....
Oh..you know what I mean  rofl
love the metaphor and imagery in this me twin...most of all the way you wrap me in rhyme

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-07-01 04:17 PM


two of my favorite ladies---thank you both, just for BEING--Sharon and Jan? I consider myself fortunate to know you both...y'all have a way of making me think without feeling "judged." Muchos Gracias.
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2002-07-01 04:36 PM


building on deVine's thought. . . I would say that life offers. . . and that we have to make it. . .

great work you. . . always teaches me something I didn't know that I needed to learn. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
10 posted 2002-07-06 07:42 AM


"I sweep glass
of my own break--
creating diamonds on the floor.
Somehow wax
is not enough--
I wanted life to offer more."

broken glass to diamonds? gorgeous.

oh, the pendulum... ~smile~ friend of mine was telling me the other day that people travel in wavelengths... highs and lows working at near equal ratios...

same theory...

and from what i've seen, well, at least the extremes can create some frickin' cool poetry... in the write hands of course.
(& I think someone else mentioned that once to me before... now, who was that?...)

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