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Open Poetry #21
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-06-28 08:45 PM



She sat there on the sofa, soft hair shining in the light
An angel of the evening as I stared with sheer delight.
The music on the stereo set mood romantically
And I was sure that she could sense love pouring out of me.

She looked at me with such a glance that I felt I was sure
It was an open invitation,although she looked demure.
The candlelight shone in her eyes..lips smiled invitingly
There was no doubt her love within was calling out to me.

I got up from my chair. I needed to be by her side.
The coffee table in the way I gently shoved aside.
I stood there, looking down at her, then reached out for her hand
As she looked up and gave a smile that said, "I understand"

She slowly rose, her eyes on mine, the smile was still in place
My knees felt they could buckle from the beauty of her face.
Then, as we stood there, smiling, while worlds disappeared from view
I put her hand up to my lips and whispered, "I love you."

I bent my face down to her lips and kissed her tenderly
And felt her arms surround my neck and hold me willingly.
The kiss grew stronger,,,stronger still. Her body pressed to mine
And I knew I would love this girl until the end of time.

Then someone shut the music off and turned the lights up bright
As people put their jackets on and gaily said goodnight.
My sofa girl then smiled at me and I smiled back, in kind
While feeling very fortunate she hadn't read my mind......  

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (06-28-2002 09:22 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-06-28 08:59 PM



No one does it quite like you...
glad to see this one again...
It's a

Marsha
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
2 posted 2002-06-28 09:07 PM


’Deer dearest heart, you really must stop doing this you know, you must stop slipping into my mind with the greatest of ease and taking up residence for the duration of your poem. Or in some cases longer, I can see you there now, having finished reading the poem to me and not content with making me feel the words, you are now drawing up an armchair and preparing to make an evening of it. It simply isn’t cricket darling man, is it? Mmmmm? It’s not that you’re not entirely welcome to use my mind as a retreat from the hurly burly of the world, after all there is plenty of space there. No its just that I forget you are there and then when I notice you there still it gives me a surprise. I wonder what thoughts of mine you have been privy too?

This is in all truth utterly utterly perfect writing, |I love it utterly as I love everything you have ever written, your style, flair and natural ability come shining through. This is superb and I love it love it love it.

And if you’re going to be in my mind for long tonight please don’t raid the fridge, there’s not a lot left after Emma’s last commando style raid on the house  

>
Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-06-28 09:12 PM


'Deer...thanks so much for posting this one again...
I missed it the first time round.
Excellent tale as only you can tell!!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-06-28 09:12 PM




(smiles) Oh Michael, this is sooooooo romantic, sweet friend, this is a moment I long for ever so much to share with the girl I love and to make her feel special and happy forever! (sigh) This is sooooo wonderful, sweet friend, this brought a tear to my eye, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
5 posted 2002-06-28 09:14 PM


Fun write, in your special style.
Sandra
PS whats this thing going between you and toe?

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
6 posted 2002-06-28 09:15 PM


Balladeer,
(O.K., my turn.) With the exception of the fifth stanza, third line, this is a great story. If you fix the word "He" which was obviously an oversight(not subscribing to the freudian point of view).
Doc

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2002-06-28 09:29 PM


Sunshine...thanks for keeping me!

Mushy...I love to slip into your mind. There's so much room there! KIDDING!! (she emptied the entire fridge?

Nancy...I love it when you stop by. Thank you!

Noah..my thanks to you and your waterlogged cheeks

catalinamoon...I thank you. Between Toe and I? Nothing. I'm the lawnmower and he's the grass. That's about it....

Dr. Moose....touch, er, touche. I had an "r" left over and didn't know where it belonged! Thanks for the look and the keen eye....

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-06-28 09:40 PM


Mike,
The devil you say. As smooth as a glassy sea.
Excellent.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
9 posted 2002-06-29 02:49 AM


Good thing that the "typo" was fixed before Toe or LJ got ahold of it.  
Very much enjoyed as always and of course, your wit is one of the reasons that your works have a certain appeal to them, not to mention that you are the cadence king when it comes to rhyming supreme.  Excellent writing.

Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
10 posted 2002-06-29 03:57 AM


I really enjoyed this poem!  The lines... the ritme... impressive... and with a surprising finish!

I am going to like it here!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
11 posted 2002-06-29 04:07 AM


Michael....I was there with you all the way......my heart beating while embracing this lovely couch lady, hoping, just hoping, that we'd at least make it to the stairs.......then there you go imagining things again.............sheesh!  You're killing me here!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2002-06-29 04:40 AM


Sounds like a plan...is this a true story...pulled from memory...James
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
13 posted 2002-06-29 06:29 AM


Deer,
I could feel your disappointment from here, you should come to me for comfort and we could dance cheek to cheekie
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



andEmmamakes3
Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 66
Kent
14 posted 2002-06-29 11:37 AM


’Deer hi there this is an amazing piece of writing I really admire the way this is written, naturally being from your pen it has perfect meter and rhyme. I hadn’t read this one yet, I’m still working my way through #1, and by the time I get to #6 I will want to read it again. I could quite happily read all that I have read a few thousand times more, you have very quickly become a prime favourite. The quality of your writing is clearly apparent to all even to a newbie like me.

I did not clear out the entire fridge, I left her a lemon and a couple of eggs, I can’t understand what she’s moaning about, she should be happy I came, don’t you think?

lots of love
Emma

Eternity, stands laughing at old time
for ages? In the grand ancestral line
Of things eternal, mounting to divine

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
15 posted 2002-06-29 04:44 PM


The masters words doth flow, very exquisite, feel I may need to cool off a bit though.
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
16 posted 2002-06-29 05:54 PM


Exceptional!
Amazing humor that keeps a smile on my face between each read. ThisDiamond

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
17 posted 2002-06-29 07:51 PM


Sy...the glassy sea thanks you!

Mark...thanks for the kind words and you are right about LJ and Toe. It would have been brutal!

Neeraja...glad you enjoyed and I'm sure we will love having you here!

ethome...steady, boy! No hyperventilation allowed

James Michael..looking at a gal and fantasizing a true story? No way!!!

Kethry..I'd love to but I keep forgetting which of us has the cheekie!

Emma...you left her a lemon and a couple of eggs and sh'es complaining? SHEESH! Some people are just hard to please! Thanks, sweet daughter...

Gemini...no cooling off allowed. Hot is a good way to go through life!

Diamond Lady....and you keep a smile on mine with your comments. Thank you...!

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
18 posted 2002-06-29 09:51 PM


Oh Deer, if you think you can get away with this, well Sir, you're wrong
Go check in the Open for the 'Sofa Lady' LOL

Like your poem very much though

Titia


Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (06-29-2002 09:55 PM).]

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
19 posted 2002-07-01 10:19 AM


Light's are glowing
The party's going
And I must leave alone.
I guess his smile
Was merely guile
And he won't even phone.
I thought the spark
There in the dark
Was prelude to a fire
But his parting glance
Held no romance...
Once more I'm undesired.

Quickly corrected Freudian slips aside, this is another masterpiece. *G*


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
20 posted 2002-07-01 10:42 AM


well...mmmmmmmmm
Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
21 posted 2002-07-01 11:28 AM


great poem - really enjoyed it - Paul
Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
22 posted 2002-07-01 06:21 PM


’Deer hi there, I’d sit on your sofa anytime   this is a wonderful poem from you, you really are a master of rhyme divine. I love the feel of this, it carried me right along with it, and I was willing the girl to whisper in a sultry voice, Come up sometime and see me a la Mae West. I was going to say her other famous line but I thought it would get me into trouble, and you know the only one who does trouble is mum. I’m the innocent daughter, I’m not but she like to think I am

This is excellent writing again and I love it, if anyone was ever in any doubt as to your ability then they must be blind, and if anyone says they were bored reading you whether it’s a repost or not, they need their head read. Exquisite writing, more please my friend much much more x x x I thought a kiss might persuade you to do some more re-posts. I wish Kit would do a begging icon please Kit will you consider it  

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy


And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

[This message has been edited by Krissy (07-01-2002 06:22 PM).]

Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
23 posted 2002-07-01 06:30 PM


’Deer sorry I forgot to put this in my library.

Emma darling little sister, tell the truth She is such a liar, she did not leave a lemon and a couple of eggs, she left a lemon that was entirely dead and two eggs that were out of date. If I’d have done it I’d have left some milk at the very least. Or a bar of chocolate, that always works


Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

mycafe
Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584

24 posted 2002-07-01 08:50 PM


I love the story in here !! nice treat!

~mycafe

Keep counting your blessings

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
25 posted 2002-07-01 09:24 PM


Giggle....A memorable eve. A memorable she. Some of the things we get ourselves into..or off of..I mean..well..YOU know right!wink* Too funny.

Sincerely,
Reg

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
26 posted 2002-07-01 09:59 PM


LOL! Yes, Regina, I know *wink*

Thanks, everyone, for enjoying this little repost from the past. I appreciate you all

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