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Open Poetry #21
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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2002-06-28 06:04 PM


*Another poet another style, as you can see I am playing at dressing up and let's pretend. Let me know what you think.

Round the sacred site Uluru
Where the tourists do what they do
And they walk the ancient places with their faces all agog
With their camera shutters clicking
While the scavengers are nicking
All the tenets of this holy place sacred to man and dog

For the white man in his taming
In a place made new by naming
Ayer's rock the place of power where the western people go
Now a victim of pollution
From the white mans fine solution
As in solitary splendour this monolith will grow

The tourists stand a dreaming
With their pockets full of seeming
And the wisdom of the ages filters down from up above
While the land goes unreplenished
Without polish, gloss or finish
And the white man says 'cry freedom' while they preach the god of love

Yet the ancients in survival
Will wait for the revival
Of the land that in its anger will return to seal its mark
But the tourists gaily singing
With their camera straps a swinging
Will hustle to the darkness of the towns both drear and stark

To their tents at night they're creeping
With the dreams of just they're sleeping
Wearied by the day and all the things that they have seen
For the moon is kindness shining
Gleams down upon the finding
Of the people dancing boldly in old hope and in old dream

Come the eve, the air is wilful
While the people patter skilful
Dispossessed, the people of the rock will wander sadly by
And become tourist attraction
Captured by their cameras action
But their painted face of gaiety hides beneath a heartfelt sigh

They wait in anticipation
Till the conscience of a nation
Sees them as a people with a right to stand apart
Then they'll dance the songs of dreaming
There will be no more of screaming
As the sacred site recovered takes the people to its heart

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



© Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
1 posted 2002-06-28 06:41 PM


Keth darling heart sister and holder of the stars delight, firstly excellent poem written with your wonderful and amazingly beautiful skilful touch. And secondly I love this I love it utterly utterly. I want to send the heralds out with a copy of this, have Bards singing this wherever they roam. Couldn’t you see Vanyel, in his young and heedless days, before he became a Herald Mage singing this? He would definitely look like the peacock, and sing this perfectly.

Banjo Patterson, eat your heart out, The One and only Kethry Vale has taken your style and made it her own. This is truly exquisite. definitely cue the trumpets this is soooooooooo good

This is truly wonderful writing I love it utterly utterly love it


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2002-06-28 06:47 PM


Oh please don't be so harsh on us eager tourists.  i do so want to see your lovely country someday.  Joyce
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2002-06-28 07:00 PM


One of my first poet friends was from Victoria, Australia also and one of the first things I did besides buy a rhyming dictionary was to buy a book on Australian dialect and translations..but I also  researched the territories so I am familiar with the Ayers Rock. This is lovely and  heart felt, Keth.
a wonderful write
hugss  

M

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
4 posted 2002-06-28 07:48 PM



WOW Kethry, what a beautiful poem you wrote.

The flow and rhyming are just perfect!!

It's a song, a beautiful song

It's always sad when people turn other people into an attraction. (at least I think that's what you were saying here).

Geez, me thinks your muse was dancing when you wrote this one.

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

TriXter
Member
since 2002-03-20
Posts 112
The One
5 posted 2002-06-28 07:49 PM


enjoyed

The man of few words...

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-06-28 07:56 PM




(big huggssssssss) As much as I'd love to visit Ayers Rock someday, it saddens me deeply too to see tourists take the natives who live there just like movie stars or celebrities and disrupt their natural environment! (sad sigh) I find this very sad and I hope that somehow action can be taken to make parts of the park sacred grounds to be respected! (sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2002-06-28 08:39 PM



Kethry, I saw this just before I left the office tonight, and knew in my heart I wanted to savour it, from the title alone.  This style suits you, my girl, and you did a wonderful job with the cadence and rhythm...this practically reaches out and grabs you, and draws you in....

Can you tell how Proud I am of you?

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-06-28 09:55 PM


Keth,
You are a natural and this was a delight to read. You are a talented writer and I do not pass you by.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2002-06-28 10:08 PM


Kethry..awesome write!
I agree with everything Karilea said.
Also, when all the superlatives have been used what can one say?
Beautiful...love this style on you!
~Hugs~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2002-06-28 10:40 PM


Kethry

You have done the subject and the style so well.  I enjoyed every word!

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
11 posted 2002-06-29 01:15 AM


Keth,
Respect for both the people and the land...good ideals. But, I have a question. If I ever am able come to visit, what will I get to see?

An excellent write and a not simple topice done extremely well. But that is just my opnion.

Show you care to those you love...today.

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
12 posted 2002-06-29 01:50 AM


Kethry...Seems like all the intelligent comments have been made but I wanted you to know that I read and appreciated your poem.  I'm almost to awe-struck to comment.  And your subject matter was so good--Damn tourists anyway.  Hope they don't leave graffitti.

Shenachie

BrandeeM
Junior Member
since 2002-05-01
Posts 45

13 posted 2002-06-29 01:52 AM


Beautiful!!!

[This message has been edited by BrandeeM (06-29-2002 01:54 AM).]

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
14 posted 2002-06-29 01:55 AM


I love the message here!!!

we could light a candle every night
to replinish nature's sight
yet still the people gawk and stare
destroying beauty, land dripping bare...

you are an inspiration as is this piece...

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
15 posted 2002-06-29 08:34 AM


I do hope you continue to write in this style.  You nailed the cadence and you covered your bases well in your thoughts.  I very much enjoyed this and even came back a second time to read it.  I have heard of Ayers Rock, but have to admit that I don't know a whole lot about it, however, I AM going to look it up after reading this.  Wonderfully expressed and once again, this style suits your pen quite well.  Loved it.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
16 posted 2002-06-29 09:15 AM


Thanks for all the wonderful responses, for those who don't know I was mimicking the style of AB (Banjo) Patterson and in particular a poem called Clancy of the Overflow, which I can't print here because of copywrite restrictions but who is a fabulous writer to search out.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



andEmmamakes3
Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 66
Kent
17 posted 2002-06-29 12:22 PM


Auntie Keth this is wonderful writing, mum printed out Clancy of the Overflow by Banjo Patterson and you have managed to write his style perfectly. Well written and perfectly expressed I know you know that I prefer rhyme so I was bound, like mum, to enjoy this poem but it really is superb writing well done and it as are all yours a keeper. Excellent writing
lots of love
Emma


Eternity, stands laughing at old time
for ages? In the grand ancestral line
Of things eternal, mounting to divine

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
18 posted 2002-06-29 08:19 PM


Kethry~
As stunning a piece as I've seen by you~
You treat the subject with a mastery of knowledge~

'Yet the ancients in survival
Will wait for the revival
Of the land that in its anger will return to seal its mark'


Weaving the rhyme to bring the story home is not always easy ...
you just did it remarkably well~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
19 posted 2002-06-30 12:09 PM


Keth, remarkable write, I enjoyed it muchly.

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
   Percy Bysshe Shelley

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
20 posted 2002-06-30 12:46 PM


Hi Keth
wonderful write, beautiful story telling, loved the images..thanks for sharing *smiles*

~hugs~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
21 posted 2002-07-01 10:31 AM


Oh, wow... *S* You have to know I love this style! *S* This is magnificent, Kethry... both the story you tell and the skill in which you tell it. *S*

If you're not familiar with Eric Bogle's work, I think you'd like his songs. *S*

There's no pretence here, Keth... only excellence. *S*

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