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Open Poetry #21
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darkling
Member
since 2001-08-28
Posts 90
altered state of mind

0 posted 2002-06-25 11:15 PM



I dug this out of some old files I had laying around. This was one of the first poems I wrote when I joined piptalk, in 7th grade, under the name 'silvertongue'. I'm now a sophomore in highschool, so it's fun to revamp old poetry.

Miserably I sit and watch
The weather which turns grey.
It started out so wonderful,
It WAS such a gorgeous day.

But then you opened up your mouth
And the words stung me like hail.
"It won't work" you said,
Oh why did I ever trust a male?

I covered up the rainstorm
Flowing from my eyes.
I looked up pitiously
And muttered my good-bye's.

You called after me
As I turned and walked away
"im sorry, but you'll be fine"you said.
Sarcastically I though "yeah, sure, I'll be ok"

Interesting note: though I write many poems about love, and losing love, and breaking off relationships, in truth, I have never been involved in a relationship. So, it must be my subconscious speaking through me, I suppose.

© Copyright 2002 Annika - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2002-06-26 05:27 PM


Very nice...I think we spend time emotionally and mentally preparting ourselves for our first relationship...James
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-06-26 05:41 PM


This reminds me that, while in Calgary, Lori bought two stickers at a drugstore. The one for me? (I picked out) Boys lie!

Of course, I left it at her house! Dang.

Uh.... liked th' poem.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-06-26 11:45 PM




WOW!!! You may have never been in a relationship yet but you sure know the emotions so very well, you are truly so very talented! (smiles) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Annika, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
4 posted 2002-06-27 01:33 AM


Enjoyed this poem!  I was amazed at your insight in light of your explanation.  Now that your pushing 50 (posts), I can't wait to see your picture!

Shenachie

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