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Open Poetry #21
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-06-25 12:28 PM


Whoa, I wrote a poem that has nothing melancholy about it?! Challenge well met. Okay, so I wrote the challenge. Still, I'm surprised!

How much
Music's crisp notes, like letters from a favorite lover.
Sun over my feet, rising to warm cotton covers.
Cinnamon scent of candle's burn from the previous night.
Window sparking like her eyes when she tells me it's alright.

Curtains catch the ghost of breeze, bringing summer whisper.
My hand upon her small of back, rising now to kiss her.
Holding strong to love's current, waking to our charge.
I think we take forever. Dawn shadows move, enlarge.

Before long the clock reads 9. She heads on to the shower.
I head on to kitchen's nook. Pour some juice that's sour.
Bringing orange glass of taste slowly to my lips.
I can hear the shower end as I take another sip.

She comes to kitchen towel-wrapped, ready to make toast.
I crack some eggs and fry them up. Sadness is a ghost.
Finish my juice remnants, orange pulp and all.
After which we glide to table. Sun goes up the wall.

Talk and eat from plates set down. Exploring both our minds.
Watching garnet glint as by the window she unwinds.
Listening to breeze in trees, shadows without worry.
I never knew before this day how much I love you, Lori.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas
1 posted 2002-06-25 01:19 AM


mike, if this girl didn't love you before, she surely will now. this is amazing. i love the way you walk us through.

Krishankins

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
2 posted 2002-06-25 09:40 AM


"If this girl didn't love you before," huh?

How little people know.

Anyway, *I* think it's sad that the orange juice is sour! So there y' go, Mr. Mope; nothing is purely happen when written by yr hand.

I love you soooo much.

I'm gonna kill my brother's girlfriend, but that's a whole different story.

"I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please." -Avril Lavigne

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-06-25 06:49 PM


Wow, so I write one completely happy poem, and nearly no one reads it? I think you all like me melancholy!

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-06-25 07:00 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwww, this is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I love it, I love it, I love it! (big hugggsssssss) I just know your Lori will love this so much, sweet friend, this is breathtaking, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
5 posted 2002-06-25 10:53 PM


Mikhail, honey, I ne'er properly said how much I enjoyed this. I just needed to find a chance to start calling you Mr. Mope.

You and yr poetry rock my world.

"Sooner or later, they'll never grow up." -Jim Steinman (unreleased and almost completely unheard, but hey)

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
6 posted 2002-06-25 11:30 PM


Theres nothing melancholy in it, Mr.Squirrel because its hard to be really melancholy when you are so in love and your life is going along so smoothly...

I can feel it in your words, how much in love you really are...

~ happy for ya hugs...

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

darkling
Member
since 2001-08-28
Posts 90
altered state of mind
7 posted 2002-06-25 11:37 PM


I see you often get stuck in the same rut as I do, melancholy-ness. (is that even a word?) Well written, and hopefully there will be a long string of more to come. PLEASE!

its amazing what one single word can do.

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