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Open Poetry #21
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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-06-24 03:22 PM



Like a honey jar,
she glistens gold as morning.
She tastes of warming secrets.
She sticks to me in stamps.
She writes to me in letters.
Memory of her hands.
Did she press that flower down?
37 'cross her nail.

Did she write me words of warning
or bold intents of her love?
Hold the fold. I close my eyes.
Paper kiss. Her transferred voice.

Put the letter in the drawer
in its shade and shadow.
Looking out the window.
Waiting at the window.
Waiting at the window.

Waiting at the window.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas
1 posted 2002-06-24 03:49 PM


I like the transition and flow. I also liked the "honey" analogy

nice one Mike

your 100grit love is smoothing my soul

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-06-24 03:53 PM


I keep meaning to get over there to read what I missed the other night...thanks for putting this bit o honey right under my oblivious nose!

very effective ending, with the repetition, and the focused imagery that is still sensuous but sharp is your trademark.

Marsha
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
3 posted 2002-06-24 05:33 PM


Mike darling boy I could just say I’ve replied to this once already but it really is so good that I could reply a thousand times and still write it is incredible. This is stunningly fabulous writing. YOU are a superb writer my friend and this is utterly wonderful in its beauty

Fabulous writing Absolutely excellent I love the lines and the construction you really have expressed so much in this. Excellent absolutely wonderful Utterly utterly beautiful


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-06-24 08:18 PM




(smiles) Oh my gosh, I just love this, sweet friend, I just had to read this again for I loved reading this in the Sanctuary! (sigh) I love the analogy of honey as in all the beauty seems to stick and not dissolve, sweet friend, this is wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-06-24 11:47 PM


Thanks!

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

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