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Open Poetry #21
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Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now

0 posted 2002-06-24 10:26 AM


For anyone getting sick of the lovey-doveyness over 'round here... Well, either head off to dark and marvel over the rabid angst, or read this.

Proof that there was life before Mike. Well no, this was during life with Mike, when he was still just my best friend.

Now, I used to have this terrible, terrible habit of falling love with a new boy every, say, year or so. Five years ago, it was my best friend Scott. He killed himself. Four years ago, James swooped in when I was still trying to recover, and he was absolutely controlling and tried to force his religion on me and blah blah. Three years ago, it was this boy at work, Nigel, who was bleach-blonde, a druggy, and enjoyed arguing with me. Two (or so) years ago, it was my best friend in school, Harrison. And it was a VERY, VERY, *VERY* turbulent friendship full of false promises and all sorts of both open and subtle abuses. I was miserable because I knew he knew I loved him, and he did have feelings back, which is why nothing ever happened (he, like I, was a very messed individual).

I was going back through my old poetry and found this one I'd written for him (I've written about ten for him. This is the only one that takes the feelings and gives it different situations). My favorite poem of grade 11, actually. Dude, that was only two years ago? I'm soooo young!

Oh, and just so y' know... Mike and I became more-than-friends probably about four months after I wrote this for Harrison.



BURNT OUT

A cluster of ash,
once red-hot
now white flakes,
explodes against
the angry edge of an aging,
fallen twig stripped of its bark.

The fire is smoking,
billowing, sputtering,
drowned in a pail of her tears.

Midnight.
He was supposed to come.
Midnight.
He said he loved her.
Midnight.
A burning kiss to her burning cheek
as he whispered
"midnight"
in her ear.

She stares at the ash
through saline-stained lids.
She has cried so long,
the green of her eyes are
now trails down her cheeks,
corroding the trace
of his Judas' kiss away.

The ash blows past her,
disturbed by her breath
then caught by the wind.
She expects it
to come right back,
to settle in the pit
and rekindle itself.

Midnight.
He promised her.
Midnight.
He sealed it with tender lips.
Midnight.
He threatened her
with the thrill of forever
by swearing
"midnight"
to her naive mind.

"Burn,"
she whispers
to the water-logged fire pit.
"Burn again.
The night is so cold."



I was a very sad little girl... Though this is nothing compared to the noise and anger I was writin' in grade 9. That was back when I thought I could write! Whoah, long time ago... Now they're just words that have to be put down, but I myself don't think it's any good. Eh.

Feel my angsty reachiness!

© Copyright 2002 LL Hager - All Rights Reserved
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
1 posted 2002-06-24 11:07 AM


So glad this is "past"...did so much of this writing in the naivety of my high school years as well...(5 yrs ago fer me)

Still...I shed a tear from these greeneyes for your moments as well as my own...

This was an excellent piece of you btw...

Take care sweet girlie!!!
~Devina

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-06-24 11:56 AM


Damn yr good! I loved this little piece of sad anger ..... Much better than my slop for gettin' over Heidi.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas
3 posted 2002-06-24 01:25 PM


"She has cried so long,
the green of her eyes are
trails down her cheeks."

Powerfully visual. Embodied with emotion .
I like it a LOT!!

Krishankins

your 100grit love is smoothing my soul

RosePetal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985
South Florida
4 posted 2002-06-24 02:09 PM


ive felt like this before. Very expressive poem.
Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
5 posted 2002-06-24 02:48 PM


Think many can relate on your words here, I for recognized the feeling from long ago...you have done a great job.
Thanks for sharing

((hugs))
Charisma

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-06-24 07:48 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Anvrill, this is so very sad, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and you express yourself so well and all so proud of you! (sigh) I think we all go through tidings like these, sweet friend, this is powerful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Anvrill, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

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