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Open Poetry #21
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-06-21 06:06 AM



Tone 1

Man pillars reaching
First to touch the morning
Last to touch the evening.

Tone 2

Dusk dark and twilight
Window shine to the night
Shadows cast by their light

Tone 3

Fast rolling black street
Flashing by not to greet
Friends lost and not to meet

Tone 4

Sunlight shines bright yellow
Pushing back the night shadow
Flashing on high rise window

Tone 5

Pedestrians in crossing
Intersection of pausing
Interruption of flowing

Gloom


© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-06-21 06:09 AM


You've been painting again...smiling, loved the play of light and shadow on this skyscape...at first I thought four verses made more sense---but I like the five...man in stand against the shadow symbolism. Hmmm...well, it's what I saw in each "frame" anyway.

morning, gloom...

enjoyed.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2002-06-21 06:24 AM


Thank you Serenity,
Pleased you liked, more of a chord than a painting,
Each part a different note, strummed together like a 5 string banjo.

Gloom

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2002-06-21 10:25 AM


Excellent snapshots of a city, Professor... I particularly like the 4th because I watch it every morning. *S* The refracting rays show the architect's intention... not just office, but art. *S*
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-06-21 09:55 PM




YAY!!! Oh Aszard, I love this, sweet friend, I love the form of this and how each line corresponds and rhymes at the end! (smiles) I knew the first parts were there somehow, guess I won the scavenger hunt finally, YAY!!! (big hugggsssss) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2002-06-22 12:11 PM


You have painted the city well Gloom.  As inviting as the city might seem at times, I guess I would prefer to be a country gal all my life.
Good write.

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~~(Garth)


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